Hugh: BLOGS

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This weekend I was in Tucson where it was hotter than hell and where as usual blog material was in abundance. Ok people are you ready?...here we go...read on...

SURPRISE!

On Friday night just before I started to play I was stunned and delighted to see my friend Cassie standing right there in front of me! Cassie and her boyfriend Erick had driven down from Phoenix (an hour drive) to be at the show. I was surprised because I haven’t seen Cassie in well over a year. First she was living in Italy and then when she came back stateside she moved to Phoenix.

Cassie was one of the first people I met in Tucson that used to come to ALL my shows. Every time I was in town she would bring different friends with her to see me. And over time I became friends with her friends too many of whom continued to come to my shows after Cassie left Tucson. I credit Cassie and my friend David McGuiggan for being the first two people in Tucson to truly spread the word about my shows.

Above that's Cassie on the right and Dee Dee on the left. (Pic: Meily Mendez) (See Facebook blog pics)

THE PSYCHIC, MUSICIAN, COMEDIAN, LOADED SIX STRING ON MY BACK DIPLOMAT, RACIST, ANIMAL LOVER...... MR ‘WHAT THE F**K’ (WTF) FOR SHORT.

Every so often I meet a really crazy person at my shows that not only demand to be blogged about but also demand to be named. I'm calling this guy wtf man. Literally because everything he did just made me think... what the f**k?

Wtf man was in his early twenties, very skinny, about 6 feet tall and he looked stoned. He was harmless but had a very irritating in your personal space manner. I was in the middle of a conversation with someone after just finishing my show when he rudely interupted and said...

“You’re a musician aren’t you?... I bet you play guitar right?....yeah...I’m psychic like that... I can just tell”.

I looked at him in disbelief. I was standing there in front of the stage area where my two guitars were there for all to see and I had my long hair out .....was he serious? Then he said...

“So dude can I get up and jam?”....Oh Lord....I should have know by his bullshit introduction where this was leading.

Then a few minutes later as he was going out the front door for a smoke he stopped and said to me....

“I’m gonna be like our president”

I looked at wtf man again as if to say ‘What the f**k?’ (ha ha) and he continued....

“I’ll be white black”. (oh dear)

A fake psychic, a pushy musician and now a bad comedian to boot...wtf man was getting worse by the minute.

A few minutes later wtf man arrived back inside the bar but now he had a guitar slung over his shoulder!! He was strutting around the venue now in a way that Jon Bon Jovi has described best...with a "loaded six string on my back".

(See Facebook blog pics)

The guitar over the shoulder routine led wtf man into an argument at the bar with a professional blues musician and his girlfriend. The blues musician getting somewhat tired of wtf man's bullshit said something to the effect of.....

“Dude with that attitude you’re going nowhere”. (Ouch!)

Wtf man didn't take too kindly to this cold home truth and  proceeded to get all handbags at ten paces. It was sad because he was all angry and puffing his chest out but the blues musician was literally sitting there at the bar laughing in wtf mans face.

The final act of wtf mans tragedy though came outside the venue as I was loading up my car. Wtf man and a buddy of his had been sent outside to cool off after their altercation with the blues musician and they were standing right beside my car smoking as I was loading.

Suddenly in the distance I heard...POP POP... POP POP POP POP....

It sounded like firecrackers but I knew firecrakers didn't explode in quick succession like that....was it gunfire??

“What was that?” I asked wtf man and his friend....

Without hesitation they simply replied in unison “Niggers”.

Good lord. So it appeared wtf man was a racist too.

Wtf man went on to say..."Yeah....every city got its own nigger town man".

They then proceeded to talk among themselves about eating whatever road kill they’d run over on the way home. I'm not joking! SERIOUSLY!! They were talking about which body they would and would not eat!!

This conversation somehow then went from bad to worse and onto the subject of beastiality (having ’relations’ with animals)!!!! and wtf's friend said...
 
"It don't matter what species it is man...its all the same".

I was hoping at this point that this was all a sick joke?? ....right?...but there was just something creepy about the way they were talking.

A few minutes later as I got into my car to drive away (with echoes of the music from the movie 'Deliverance' in my head!) I saw wtf man had gotten back into his handbags at ten paces argument with the blues musician and his girlfriend who were now leaving.

"What you said wasn't cool man" said wtf man....

"Dude I'm just being honest" I heard the blues musician say.

Honesty...yes indeed... exactly what wtf man needs.

WHATS GOING ON WITH THUMPER?

I noticed my friend Darragh (aka 'Thumper') was a little grumpy looking on Friday so I decided to give her a hard time over the microphone...to...you know...try to loosen her up...so to speak.

So as I was singing 'Alice? who the f**k is Alice?' I asked Thumper to turn around so I could see whether her level of enthusiasm was up to scratch.

As those around her laughed Thumper begrudgingly turned around to face me and straddling her chair backwards Madonna like defiantly! She still looked like she was in pain...constipated like? As the song went on i checked back to make sure she was giving it the proper enthusiam and she seemed to be a little more into it. In spite of the fact she was being coerced to do so.

But then when the song ended it appeared like Thumper suddenly dissappeared!
 
"Where's Thumper?" I asked the crowd.

"She's gone to the restroom" cried out Thumper's partner in crime (or is it partner in the CIA?), Melissa (aka Bambi).

"Ah... I said my work is complete...all that tension taken away...now being released!".

Thumper then re emerged from the restroom stood momentarily beside her table and for the benefit of everyone who was now looking at her....she took both her hands and squashed her boobs! as if to say 'How do you like me now?'.

The next night though I got the inside story from Thumper. The truth was she was dying to use the restroom but when I called her out over the mic she didn't want to just walk away. The pained look had been her trying to hold on why she sang along!

And you know people say that when a woman HAS to go...REALLY has to go...Jesus and all his angels couldn't stop her! And there was me thinking I'd helped her loosen up when all along I'd been putting her through hell!! Ouch. At least Darragh (Thumper) could see the funny side of it!

Below from left to right are my friends Darragh (Thumper), Saum and Melissa (Bambi) on St Patricks Day in Tucson 2009. (Pic: Erin Prater) (See Facebook blog pics)

DON'T ALL MEN TALK TO THEIR 'EQUIPMENT'?

I had a very interesting show on Saturday night. It was at a restaurant as a pose to an ‘Irish bar’ where I normally play in Tucson. The situation allowed me to both play more of my original songs and to chat more with the audience. I was happy to see that people seemed to enjoy these changes to my normal show. Playing outdoors under the moonlight helped too! Overall it just seemed to be a nice mix between a bar and a restaurant.

At one point I was talking to the crowd about how I sometimes talk to my guitars and how I originally wanted to name my acoustic guitar Harry after my grandfather. My grandfather had left me money with strict instructions that I buy myself a guitar. He had been a musician himself. In the end I decided on the name 'Harriet' because 1. my guitar needed to be female! and 2. it had to be close to my grandfathers name.

Then as I was then telling everyone how I still haven't officially named my electric guitar.... My phone suddenly buzzed. I had a text.... it made me laugh out loud..so I shared it with the audience...it read simply...

"Don't all men talk to their 'equipment' ?".

(I'm just asking the Gods, please, give me a sign? tell me...what should I call my candy apple red telecaster?) (See Facebook blog pics)

Another funny moment happened when my rendition of 'Free falling' was interupted by wailing police sirens on the street below. I just spontaneously proceeded to work the words from the theme song to the tv show 'COPS' into 'Free falling' and I sang...

"Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do? whatcha gonna do when they come for you...Free falling".

It was a funny moment and another good example of the energy that was created by the intimate atmostphere of the venue. I think I should definitely find more venues like this one to play at in the future.

THANK YOU

To all my friends who came out to the shows this weekend especially those of you who came out twice! There’s too many of you to name here individually. I really appreciate your ongoing support. Also special thanks again to David McGuiggan for putting me up.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. Today I'm talking hair donation, author Stephenie Meyer's book 'The Host', my nasty O.C. sunburn experience and the new real life competition I discovered for my favorite girls with guns in the shape of kick ass ice trucker Lisa Kelly. There's questions for you at the end people so jump in and lets roll! Read on.....

MORE HAIR PROBLEMS IN THE O.C.

Last week I wrote about an experience I had in a venue restroom where some guy came in and saw me fixing my hair and had some kind of panic attack because he thought there might be about to be a George Michael like restroom ambush? ha ha.

Well this weekend in the same venue and the same restroom! I had another bizarre ’experience’ but this time it was me that was weirded out!

So there I am taking my hair out and fixing it in the restroom mirror just before I start my show and in walks this odd looking guy. Let me describe him. He was in his early twenties really skinny and about 5 ft 4. He had red scraggly hair and he reminded me of a cross between comedian carrot top and snowboarder Shaun White (see pic below).

(See Facebook blog pics)

Man though did this guy look frazzled. He looked like he’d smoked enough weed for two lifetimes and it really showed.

"Hey dude can I ask you a question?" he said to me.

"Sure" I said "Whats up?".

"Dude how long did it take you to grow your hair?".

I looked at him as if to say wtf? and so he tried to explain himself...

"Oh the reason I'm asking dude is that I want to donate my hair and I want to know how long it'll take my hair to be as long as yours".

"Over a year" I told him. "Woah" he said.

The weirdest thing about this guy was not his question though because as I walked out of the restroom he followed me out and went back up to the bar without using the facilities so to speak! Had he actually followed me into the restroom specifically to ask me that question? Or did his frazzled brain forget once in the restroom that he actually was in there to use the restroom? I'll let you decide.

THE HOST

I mentioned briefly in last weeks blog that I was reading a book by Stephenie Meyer (pictured below) called ‘The Host’. Meyer, as most of you know, is also the author of the four books in the Twilight saga. Would you believe that so far Meyer has sold over 70 million books! An incredible achievement especially considering that Meyer's first book 'Twilight' was published only four years ago!

'The Host' introduces us to an alien race, called souls, who take over Earth and its inhabitants. The book describes a soul (called Wanderer) who finds herself in a predicament when the mind of her host body (a young woman called Melanie) refuses to cooperate with the takeover of her body and mind.

I really enjoyed the book and found it very thought provoking. For many of you sci fi or zombie freaks out there who have put serious thought into how you'd survive Z-day or an alien invasion I think you'll really dig how the human resistance in the book survive and how they adapt and overcome the adversity they face.

This book really stays with you after you've finished it...the characters... their individual predicaments, the whole scenario. In a insightful way Meyer steps back from humanity and gives us some perspective on what it is to be human. She uses her story cleverly to explore the best and the worst of what makes us 'human' and also takes a thoughtful look at how we as humans can take for granted being in control of our body and mind, being human.

Another reason I got a kick out of this book is the fact that most of it takes place in the desert outside Tucson and there are many specific references to places I am now very familiar with because of the many road trips I've made to Tucson. If you are interested check out more about this book via the link below:

www.thehostnovel.com

SUN BURN CITY!

I unfortunately got badly sunburned this past weekend while playing an outdoor show in Orange County. I am sure the folks in Tucson next weekend are going to have a lot of fun taking the piss out of me when they see my lobster face. This is how it happened...

I arrived at the venue on Sunday morning at 9:30am!! (It was a 11am-2pm show) to discover that the awning that usually covers the area where I play had been blown down in a rainstorm the previous day and was broken beyond repair. This meant I would have to play with me and my equipment exposed to the sunlight. I had no sunblock with me because I thought I was going to be in the shade. While the staff there were sympathetic there wasn’t really anything they could do about my situation.

There didn’t seem to be a manager on duty and so therefore there was no one to either cancel or move me to another location. Frankly I needed the money and because it was a little overcast as I was setting up I thought I would be alright, but I was wrong.

I set up my equipment and found ways to protect most of it from the sun initially it was ok but come about 12:30 the clouds were gone and I was I fely like a pop tart in a toaster. To add insult to injury (literally) it was very quiet, mainly because there was no shade for people to sit in either. The whole situation was a f**kup.

I went into the bar (I was outside on the patio) to get some water but the bargirl was busy changing a keg so I asked one of the waitresses (an older grumpy looking woman) could she please get me some water and I went back out to keep playing.

But ten minutes later I didn't have my water. Now I'm no pre madonna but ten minutes in that heat was a long time! Also keep in mind that the walk from the bar inside to the patio is about 20ft!

So I went back inside and the grumpy waitress says to me

"Oh I left your water over there, by the bar, I didn't have time to bring it out to you"
 
What? I was stunned...what a freaking bitch! I bit my tongue and walked out.

"Too busy" it was painfully quite in the bar too!...this waitress was literally going around cleaning tables to look busy!.... and she was too busy inside in the freakin' ice cold air conditioning to bring me (exposed in the 80 degree heat) a glass of water?

Why?? what a man hating ignorant selfish cow! there I said it...I feel better too ;)

Other staff members there were very nice and apologetic about the awning (my shade) being broken one staff member even said to me...
 
"Dude how did you keep going out there in that freaking heat...that was impressive!"....I should have told him.. 'That's why they call me 'the machine' son'.

So if the other staff got it what was this f**king battle axe's problem? Some people just defy sense and reason.

But swiftly back to the sunburn.. I didn't realize I'd been sun burned noticeably until I got in my car to drive home. I looked in the rearview and my jaw dropped....it was a f**king lobster man where my reflection should've been!! Ok so I didn't quiet look like hell boy (ha ha) but it was ugly...my arms were burnt too.

It was just one of those days where you have to just go with the situation. It wasn't ideal but I just adapted and overcame...and got paid. Was it worth it to get sunburnt and abused by a manhating waitress? ....probably... but either way I'll live and thanks to the wonders of Aloe Vera my face will heal too.

GIRLS WITH TRUCKS: MY CONFESSION PT 2

I recently started watching a show on the History channel called ‘Ice Road Truckers’.
This is one of the drivers on the show, Lisa Kelly.

(See Facebook blog pics)
 
Lisa (28) is a former school bus driver and state freestyle motocross champion! On the show Lisa is only starting her second year driving on the ice roads. This is the third season of 'Ice Road Truckers' and in it Lisa officially becomes the Carlile trucking companies first female heavy hauler!
 
I wrote a blog before about how girls with guns gets me every time. I talked about Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider, Annabeth Gish (Agent Monica Reyes) in the x-files and my favorite Kate Beckingsale armed with glocks and a never ending supply of clips in Underworld. After seeing Lisa though I think my girls with guns have some real life competition. What can I say... I love kick ass women!

This below is 'literally' just one of the pitfalls that these ice road truckers face doing their job. If you've ever watched the show you'll know Lisa and all the other truckers are really putting their life on the line every time they sit behind the wheel.

(See Facebook blog pics)

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This week I return to my usual humorous blog format watch out I have questions for you at the end. This week I’m talking about a long weekend of very 'unique' Orange County experiences. So make sure you‘ve got your tinfoil hats on?...OK...ready?.... read on...

HUGGY BEAR'S SCARING THE NATIVES?

You’ve all probably seen the shows The O.C., Laguna Beach or the Housewives of Orange County right? so you know how rich folks in Orange County roll. As most of you know I live in Orange county too... but not in the part you see on those shows!
I live in the city of Buena Park which is in north orange county on the border of Los Angeles county. Buena Park is best known as the home to Knott’s Berry Farm which was America’s first ever amusement park.

The venues I’ve been playing in recently in Orange County are mostly in the very ‘posh’ parts of southern Orange county and just this past weekend I noticed that for some unknown reason , at least to me, I seem to be genuinely scaring some of the rich folks at my shows! I’m serious!....Let me give you some examples.

1. Hair raising!

When I am setting up for my shows I normally tend to have my hair tied up in a ponytail and then just before I start to play I go to my dressing room (ha ha) I mean the rest room and I change shirt and let my hair down....so to speak.

(Pic: Dustin Hempel) (See Facebook blog pics)

So before a show last week (which was on the patio of a golf club restaurant) I casually walked up to the bar, with my hair out, to get some water and I noticed that this old dude (in his seventies) was staring at me... and he looked totally horrified!! He was looking at me like I had just got off a Harley.. like he was honestly shocked that they let ‘my kind’ into 'his' Golf club restaurant.

I just smiled at him and then I noticed his wife holding tightly onto her purse.. What? so now I’m a rock n roll biker bar robber dude??.... but this was only the beginning....

2. How much for your daughter?

The next example I have was when I arrived to start setting up for another show and near the stage area this family was already sitting down eating. There was two grandparents (in their 60’s) with their daughter (30 something) and her daughter (about 15). As I walked past their table I smiled as if to say hello and BOOM again there was that look of terror!

I was taken aback and confused especially after what happened in the Golf club restaurant two nights before and I thought to myself ‘Oh stop Hugh you’re only imagining it, you’re getting paranoid’.

But when I looked back at that table again they were looking at me like I was a freakin’ psycho killer! Now I knew I wasn’t imagining things.

They ate real fast and were history long before I even got to soundcheck! Jesus you’d swear it had been like that scene in the Blues Brothers movie where the Blues Brothers scare a family eating at a fancy restaurant by asking them in a Mexican accent “How much for your daughter?”....but this wasn't to be the last OC resident I'd scare....

(Pic: David McGuiggan) (See Facebook blog pics)

3. Restroom rendezvous!

Then just a few minutes later I apparently scared another Orange county native this time in the restroom where I was letting my hair down.

So there I am taking my hair out of a ponytail and fixing it in front of the bathroom mirror when in walks this 30 something dude. He seemed taken aback to walk in and see a guy with long hair in the bathroom so I just smiled and tried to ease the tension by joking...

“Its not much of a dressing room...but what can I do?”.

He looked confused, like I’d spoken in Chinese or something so I tried to explain...

"I'm the musician playing here tonight...this is my dressing room" I said looking at him as if to say this is not a f**king George Michael bathroom moment you f**king moron.

He mumbled something about looking forward to hearing me and bolted out the door leaving me looking at myself in the mirror...Out loud I said to myself "You have got to be f**king kidding me".

What was it about me that was feaking these people out? I didn't look any different that how I did the last time I played in Orange County?...weirdness.

In Conclusion:

I just started reading a book called ‘The Host’ by Stephanie Meyer (Author of the Twilight saga). This Meyer book is not about vampires though, this one is set in a post ‘Invasion of the body snatchers’ type scenario where most of humanity has been taken over by an Alien species. Reading this book has the whole body snatcher thing going through my head and it got me thinking...

What if the invasion of the body snatchers has already started!! and in Orange County! and what if all these people were afraid of me because they're not Aliens (yet) and they're afraid that I am?

Ok...so before you go calling the men in white coats did you know that I actually have a weird scar on the back of my left ear...doh! .... Maybe It's just my Irish 'Alien' vibes!

Wait is that a green glow coming off me in the picture below? but more on that subject in a minute....

(Pic: Deborah Kountz) (See Facebook blog pics)

.666 MILES TO THE TRAIL

I went Mountain bike riding today 'off road' for the first time on a bike trail in Orange County with my friend Danny. It was very interesting experience to say the least! I should have known when Danny’s google earth map said the trail began .666 (the number of the beast) miles from the 5 freeway that we were going to get a taste of hell!  Man that trail kicked our asses.

It took me a while to get used to handling the bike on the rough surface, quickly switching gears and using the brakes correctly. Its a world away from how you control a bike on paved cycle paths. I loved it though and was suprised by some of the scenery we encountered. At one point it was literally like we were cycling through a freakin’ jungle....in Orange county! Next time I'll have to take pictures.

At one point on our trip we entered a clearing and I was taken aback to hear the sound (immediately to our right) of a large animal violently crashing through some trees! My first thought was... ‘Oh f**k... Mountain Lion!’.

(See Facebook blog pics)

But Danny who was ahead of me said he caught a glimpse of it... and he said it wasn't a mountain lion... just a deer. Man...an encounter with a mountain lion that would have been something!

I witnessed the same violent tree shaking and animal noise later again as we made our way back down the trail. This was definitely not an experience to come upon suddenly for the faint hearted!

The cool thing about this trail to me though was that while on the one hand its not too far from civilization on the other hand you’re really right out there on the borderland with nature. I loved it! It was great to 'get away from it all' so to speak.

So we didn't meet Satan on the .666 miles from the 5 freeway bike riding trail or meet 'the beast' (mountain lion) in fact the experience was far from evil and as Danny put it to me in a text afterwards the experience was and I quote “f**kin righteous”.

The possibility of a Mountain Lion attack in Orange County while very rare is actually not that far fetched. (No I am not talking about 'Cougar' attacks....ha ha they're widespread in the O.C.) Check this collection of articles out via the link below...including the first article about the 2004 Mountain Lion attacks in O.C.

http://www.bikeforums.net/archive/index.php/t-43496.html

APPARENTLY ALIENS PREFER IRISH PEOPLE!!!

Apparently Alien visitors to earth seem to think Irish people are special...seriously!

Its ok though you won't need your tinfoil hats (yet)...let me explain.

In a recent newsletter from ‘Unknown Country’ which is the online newsletter from the website of my favorite author Whitley Strieber I read something very interesting about Irish people and alien abductees but before I tell you more let me first give you some background on Whitley Strieber.

Strieber has been a writer since the early 80's his book 'Communion' was a number 1 New York Times Non-Fiction Bestseller and was also turned into a film of the same name. 'Communion' is an autobiographical account of his experiences with alien visitors who came to his cabin in the New York countryside. Another of Strieber's books 'The Coming Global Superstorm' served as an inspiration for the recent motion picture 'The Day After Tommorow'. One of Strieber's more recent books, 'The Grays' is also soon to be made into a movie.

Ok so now you know about Strieber lets get back to the Irish / Alien connection.. well one of the Unknown Country newsletter contributors Anne Streiber (Whitley's wife) was the one who mentioned something about the Irish in her recent blog. She said and I quote...

“When we looked through the last names of the hundreds of thousands of letters we received from contactees and abductees, after Whitley wrote "Communion," we found that they were predominantly Irish! From reading all those letters, I learned that UFO contact runs in family, but maybe it also runs in our DNA”.

Ha ha... be afraid my friends...BE VERY AFRAID!!!

As I mentioned earlier I have a very strange unexplainable scar on the back of my left ear?.... Seriously! Ask me about it and I’ll show you...if the implant doesn’t erase my memory by then ;)

Here's a link to Whitley Streiber's website: www.unknowncountry.com

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This weeks blog is a first for me. I don’t normally talk about my family in my blog but with my eldest son Matthew finishing at his school last week I thought now would be a good time for me to properly address the most common question people in America ask me. Which is....

“WHY DID YOU COME TO AMERICA?”

I have a short answer that I regularly give to this question because it is a long story.
 
For whatever reason details seem to just confuse the matter and because details aren’t what everyone wants to hear (I do talk a lot) when someone askes me this question I sometimes try to just simplify ‘the why’ and condense it down into a easily digestible sound bite, some of you might have heard it. It goes something like...

“I came to America for my son who was having speech problems, but he’s doing great now. In fact now I can’t get him to shut up!”.

Honestly I hate having to condense something so important to me into a sentence and a corny joke but circumstances where I am playing a show (in a bar!) sometimes dictate such condensation.

Last week after almost 8 years my son Matthew finished at his school, SLDC (the Speech and Language Development Center) here in North Orange County, California. Bringing Matthew to SLDC was the reason my family moved to California and now as he has finished his time at SLDC it feels like the right time for me to not just share with you the soundbite answer to this question but also the rest of the story too.

This is Matthew outside SLDC in 2002 with his pal Bob The Builder! (Pic: Rupert Thorpe) (See Facebook blog pics)

Matthew peers around the same tree in 2009! (Pic: Maureen Elstran) (See Facebook blog pics)

THE BEGINNING

Matthew was our first child and his arrival changed my wife Edel and I completely. Somehow it seemed to us like our lives had only truly begun when he was born. The first 18 months everything was wonderful he was hitting all his developmental milestones on time he was a very happy baby, loved breastfeeding and slept well.

At around 18 months something suddenly changed. Matthew essentially started going into his own world and while physically he continued to hit all his developmental milestones on time his speech was just not developing as it should have.

Over the next two years we took Matthew to every child specialist we could find in Ireland but no one seemed to able to fully explain what Matthews speech problem was or what we could do to help him. We had every conceivable test done on Matthew including MRI and EEG brain scans. Everything came back 'normal'. It was an incredibly frustrating mystery. Every test result we got and specialist we saw left us without answers and with more and more questions just piling up.

As first time parents this was a very difficult time. People in Ireland in the late nineties were in some ways still somewhat old fashioned and would somtimes say the cruelest things thinking they were being helpful.  For example someone told me "Oh that's just the way Matthew is Hugh, just move on and have another child". Wow am I glad I had more sense than to listen to that bullshit.

WHY SLDC?

Once we realized there was no answers or help to be found in Ireland (keep in mind Ireland is a small island of only 5 million people) we began a worldwide search for the answers and the help Matthew needed. Online and on the phone I investigated and called speech specialists and speech schools all over Europe and as far off as Australia. There was one location though that kept coming up in all the searching I did and that was California. For whatever reason there just seemed to be a lot of speech specialists and speech schools in California. So I made some calls worked it like only an Irishman can ;) and managed to organize a tour of schools in the Los Angeles, Orange County area of Southern California.

So in November 2001, just weeks after 9/11 (I remember the plane we flew over on was practically empty) we set off to seek out the answers and the help that our son (now 4 years old) so desperately needed.

On our trip we visited many schools but as soon as I arrived at the SLDC campus I knew that it was ‘the’ place. I remember telling my wife when we first arrived in California that I had a feeling that when I found the right school that I’d just know it... and as crazy as that may sound that was exactly the way it happened with SLDC.

The experienced and talented staff at SLDC did an assessment on Matthew and quickly identified the cause of his speech problem. They also suggested a very definite course of action to deal with his problem.

The staff at SLDC were inspired by our trek halfway across the world to help our son and to our astonishment SLDC then offered Matthew a scholarship!

To have found answers and solutions for Matthew was such a relief but then for him to recieve the scholarship on top of all that! Wow. There aren't any words to describe how my wife and I felt.

And so we took another leap and using the proceeds of our recently sold home in Ireland we moved to California. Matthew officially began as a student at SLDC in January 2002. www.sldc.net

Edel, me and Matthew in the old primary playground, SLDC 2002. (Pic: Maureen Elstran) (See Facebook blog pics)

THE IRISH NEWSPAPER ARTICLE

Six months after Matthew started at SLDC he was making incredible progress and I felt an obligation to do something to help the many other parents in a similar situation to ours that we'd met back in Ireland. I wanted to share the success we'd had in thinking outside of the box (Ireland) so to speak. To accomplish this goal I wrote a newspaper article with the help of SLDC's director of public relations Maureen Elstran. The article ended up being published in Ireland’s largest Sunday paper ‘The Sunday Independent’ (see article below).

(See Facebook blog pics)

The decison to write this article was not taken lightly. We knew that in exchange for passing this information on we were giving up our privacy and faced the unknown quantity that publicity for this story might generate. In the end though remembering how heartbroken and desperate some parents we'd met back home in Ireland were to find help for their kids we decided that doing the article was worth it. We had made our own luck for Matthew in America and I wanted to share our good fortune with the parents back home.

THE IRISH INVASION!

Since the article was printed eight other Irish families followed us directly or indirectly over to SLDC . Some had read the article and contacted us or SLDC directly and later others had heard about SLDC through the families that had visited SLDC.

Some of the families who came to SLDC had newspaper articles of their own printed in Ireland. One family appeared on national radio and had a mini documentary on Irish TV about their trip to SLDC. Below is a picture taken outside SLDC with us Lehanes and two of the first Irish familes to follow us to SLDC. The Mullarkeys from Sligo (center) and The Lynchs (on right) from Bettystown. Its not hard to spot the Paddys in this picture ;)

(See Facebook blog pics)

Just last week the eighth Irish family to come to SLDC after us, the Maguires from Co. Clare just left after being here for 5 months.

My intention was to spread the word about SLDC to other parents in need back home in Ireland but I never expected that this articles domino effect would still continue in 2009!
 
MATTHEW EIGHT YEARS LATER

Its been an amazing journey for Matthew over the past eight years he has personally worked very hard, overcome so much and in the process become an inspiration to his class mates, his teachers, his mom, me, his brother Daniel and to all the Irish families that followed his story to SLDC.

Matthew successfully overcame his speech difficulties and as I say in my original sound bite short answer now I can't get him to shut up! Academically he is now at his grade level and above average in most subjects. When you consider Matthew arrived at SLDC in late 2001 at four and a half years of age hardly speaking at all I think its safe to say he has truly made an astounding recovery.

I tell people that SLDC is the best school in the world for helping kids with speech problems and I’m not blowing smoke when I say that! After looking at schools all over the world I believe that SLDC is simply just in a different league. But now regardless of what I say, after eight years of Matthews incredible progress, SLDC's results are speaking for themselves.
 
Below Matthew gets to meet his American citizen brother Daniel for the first time, November 2004.

(See Facebook blog pics)

Here's a more recent pic of the Lehane brothers... (See Facebook blog pics)

A FINAL WORD OF THANKS

To all the teachers and staff @ SLDC. Your hard work and tireless dedication with my son has been truly remarkable, I am forever in your debt. There are simply too many of you to mention here by name. Someone I have to mention though is SLDC Principal extroardinaire Dawn O Connor. Dawn... you are legend. They will sing songs about you around campfires. www.sldc.net

To all the staff at 'Lindamood Bell Learning Processes' in Newport Beach. Thank you also for your hard work helping Matthew with his comprehension. Special thanks to Jackie, Shannon and Kim. www.lindamoodbell.com

To Dr. John Bergman who after hearing our story has generously chiropractically adjusted Matthew and all of us Lehanes now for over 6 years... for free! Thank you for keeping us healthy and in the game! Your expertise and service was critical in Matthews ongoing progress. www.bergmanchriopractic.com

Also to all the friends I have made over the past few years through playing shows, sharing my weekly blog and playing my music all over the Southwest. One of the reasons I wanted to write this weeks blog was so that you could truly know just how much your support and friendship means to me (and indirectly to my family). I truly appreciate the 'Hugh Nation', all of you in it and its ever growing ranks. Respect.

The Lehane family leaving SLDC on Matthew's last day. (Pic: Maureen Elstran) (See Facebook blog pics)

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. Its a fun one with plenty of show pictures! but pay attention I've got questions for you at the end. Ok...lock and load, lets rock n roll people and read on......

PORTABLE LAPDANCE

For this week's first blog story I am going to tell you how a man at my show last Friday night didn't let anything.. including his wheelchair get in the way of him having a good time (see the picture below).

(See Facebook blog pics) (Pic: C. Campbell)

As people danced at my show on Friday night this gentelman spun up and down and round and round the dancefloor... with his lady friend on his lap! There were having great fun and bringing great energy to the crowd. Everyone had their cameras and phones out taking pictures it was like they were celebrities or something! The girl was really working it on his lap and when I finished my set I commented over the mic "Wow..that was like a portable lapdance!".

HOLLYWOOD ENDING: LYRICAL UPDATE

Ok so those of you who go to my shows you are familiar with my song 'Hollywood Ending'. Its by far, hands down, my audiences favorite original Hugh song. Well last week I made some changes with the lyrics in the song and for those of you are interested I am going to briefly explain why.

Simply, I felt the lyrics were not articulating directly enough what I wanted to say in the song. I just like I was being too nice with the message and ever time I sang the song it was bugging me. Also, comments I have got about the song from a number of people led me to believe that some were somewhat...ahem.. 'misunderstanding' what the song was all about. You see this song is not about resignation or failure. It is a song I wrote as an answer to a very common question I get. The question being..."Hugh, why do you (or still) do what you do? (play music)".

As an example of some of the new lyrical changes I've made here below is the old, followed by the new, chorus lyrics. The first line is the only one that is unchanged.

Old chorus lyrics:

I'm not waiting for a Hollywood ending.
I'm living my dream day by day.
I'm not just looking for the end of the rainbow.
With a smile on my face I'm on my way.

New chorus lyrics:

I'm not waiting for a Hollywood ending.
I'm chasing my dream day by day.
No I'm not waiting for my ship to come sailing in.
I'm making my own luck, I'm going my own way.

ONE BIKER, HIS HARLEY, THREE DOGS AND A SKATEBOARD?

This biker guy pulls up to the kerb outside the venue on Friday night. We can all see him because behind me (where I am set up playing) at this venue there's two giant windows out onto the street. What stuck out about this biker dude though was not his bike or him...but what he was carrying on his bike!

There perched on the back of his Harley this biker had a homemade pet carrier with three little dogs in it! and they were those little tiny 'girlie' dogs! There was more though because also strapped precariously to this bikers odd looking pet carrier contraption was a skateboard....what?...why?

Why would a Harley biker carry three dogs and a skateboard on his ride?... It doesn't make any sense to me.  But the answers came later.
 
You see I saw one of my friends (Winnie) talking to this biker dude outside while she was having a smoke and she has since told me that she knew this biker character and that in fact she has know him for many years. He used to be a railroad conductor (now retired) and he now collects classic bikes, cars and random toys. She says he's a cool guy and a real character.

His three dogs are called "Total", "Chick" and "Magnet"! (get it?).  He said the dogs really love being on the bike and that the skateboard is for when the dogs want to pull him around!!!....I don't know what to say....except...WOW!...only in Fresno.

RESPECT TO MIKE MOYNIHAN: THE FATHER OF A NATION!

It's just over a year now since Moynihan's Irish Pub in Fresno closed. I started playing there about once a month back in 2005. Things started slow there for me but the owner Mike Moynihan stuck with me and slowly but surely I started to win the crowd over. Then on the night that I recorded my first live CD at Moynihan's everything went up to a whole other level. The energy in the pub that night was nothing short of magic

Touching that energy @ Moynihan's (Pic: D. Kountz) (See Facebook blog pics)

Moynihan's to me was a real piece of Ireland in America. I always looked forward to playing there and I made many, many great friends there. The bar maybe gone but the spirit of Moynihan's lives on in all of us who experienced it.

(Pic: D. Kountz) (See Facebook blog pics)

The owner of Moynihan's, Mike Moynihan, is a real Irish character. His grandparents on both sides originally came from Ireland to San Francisco and his Father moved to Fresno where he lived for fifty years. Mike may have not been physically born in Ireland but I can personally testify that he's Irish through and through. I love listening to his stories about finding his old relatives back in Ireland.

Not only is Moynihan's and Mike Moynihan part of the inspiration for my song 'Finding Ireland In America' (the title track of my next CD) but more than that Mike Moynihan is to me the Father of what we now call the 'Hugh Nation'. Long before the cheering crowds at what were called 'Hugh nights' at the pub Mike had faith in me and kept having me back to play at Moynihan's and he always paid me even on nights he couldn't really afford to. Thank you Mike I will never forget that.

Finally I say God bless you Mike and thank you for the Moynihan's experience, the piece of Ireland that you shared with so many people in Fresno. Respect to you Mr Mike Moynihan, now the father of a nation. SLAINTE!

Michael Moynihan, St Patrick's weekend 2009 (Pic: D. Kountz) (See Facebook blog pics)

T-SHIRTS FOR SALE!

Woo hoo! The 'Hugh Nation' shirts went on sale this weekend at my shows for the first time (see picture below).
 
(See Facebook blog pics) (Pic: T. Herman)

The logo design is a little bigger than the shirt you can order online and I have to say I think it looks cool! I'm excited! It was great to look out and see so many Hugh Nation shirts in the crowd on Saturday night and it gives me an idea of what the crowd is gonna look like when we shoot the 'live' DVD in the fall. There are exciting times ahead for the 'Hugh Nation'. Below is a picture of just some of the Fresno chapter of the 'Hugh Nation' in their new T-Shirt's after the show on Saturday night.

(See Facebook blog pics) (Pic: D. Kountz)

THANK YOU

To everyone who came out to the shows in Fresno I continue to appreciate your enthusiatic support and promise you all that the best is yet to come. Thank you also to everyone who bought the new Hugh Nation shirts and wore them with such pride.

To the blog photographers! Tami Herman, Crissy Campbell and Deborah Kountz.

To George Grim for recommending the local T-shirt printer and Rob Herman for picking the shirts up and for helping me set up for both shows.

Finally a special thanks to Marty & Anne for letting me stay at their house while they were away and to Tami Herman for her tireless efforts helping me sell shirts collect shirt orders and collect e-mail addresses.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This week its all humorous as I take you on a whirlwind tour of senior moments, erased moon tapes, a frustrating air force test, a vixen manual! oh and all the things that fall out of rock stars purses. Yes indeed this weeks an odd one. I have questions for you at the end so pay attention. Are you ready?...ok...read on.....

SENIOR MOMENTS

In past blogs when I‘ve written about seniors I always begin by stating that I don’t have anything against seniors because after all someday I’ll be one. So now that any possibly politically correct readers waiting with their accusations of ageism are off their high horse let me get on with it. You see I think we could talk about the youth of the early 21st century being a unique bunch and I know you’d all agree but I think you could equally say the same thing about seniors of today.

Recently I was at an Irish community event where there was a lot of seniors of Irish decent. I’m not sure if it was their Irish or their American heritage... or maybe a bit of both that explains what I’m about to share with you...I’ll just leave that up for you to decide. At this event there was about 40 people and there was only one waitress! To make things worse she was an incredibly grumpy and a rude bitch. To say her temperament was unsuited to this gathering of mostly seniors would be the understatement of the year.

(See Facebook blog pics)

After everyone had eaten the host of the event stood up to speak....into the microphone which was plugged into a karaoke machine....oh yeah.... this is when the fun started.
So now with the waitress in the room the host made an attempt at waitress senior diplomacy (doh) and said ...

“Ok everybody I think we should thank our waitress”....

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. It was.. AWKWARD...I swear the only time you’d normally hear this kind of silence would be in the dead of night!

Sensing the discontent and his wasted attempt at diplomacy the host then quipped...

”Well at least the coffee was hot”.

As you can imagine the waitress was not impressed!

Next the host handed the mike over to another man who had news of a fellow senior who had recently been hospitalized.

He started off by saying that things were not looking good for...lets call the patient John and that prayers were needed. That was fair enough but then he went to say that John was on a ventilator and that even if he gets off it he'll most likely be a vegetable....... My jaw dropped...but it got worse.

“I don’t think we should send John a card, after all I think if we were in that state we’d probably say ‘Just let me go’ anyway”.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I mean especially after the tension in the room with the bitchy waitress... this was now the ultimate party pooper.

The party wasn’t over though there was to be one final act in this senior with a microphone (out of a karaoke machine) tragedy...

The host returning to the mic attempted to lighten the mood by starting to talk about t-shirts that he was struggling to sell.....I know, I know....mind blowing.

The host started talking specifically about large t-shirts that he couldn’t sell. He looked at one particular small Irish woman in the crowd and said...
 
“I can’t sell those bloody large T-shirts cause Irish women are all midgets”.

At this point my head was in my hands. You’d want to have seen the look on the petit Irish women in attendance ...they were NOT impressed.

Perhaps though if I look at these outbursts as simply ‘senior moments’ they wouldn’t seem so bad. To be fair I’m sure that when I’m a senior I’ll most likely be just as obnoxious as these guys above. Maybe its not obnoxiousness though maybe its just that tact is something that means less and less as you get older!

MOON LANDING 40TH ANNIVERSARY

So this past week its been 40 years since man first traveled to the moon. To celebrate this anniversary NASA has been restoring some of the original footage of the astronauts on the moon. NASA also released some pictures of the Apollo landers on the moon (taken from earth‘s orbit) in an attempt to put to rest all the conspiracy theories about the moon landings being fake. Unfortunately though NASA also picked this time to announce that the footage they had restored was not taken from the original tapes!! In fact they had admitted to apparently ‘accidentally’ “taping over” the original moon footage!!! They had to search across the world for copies of the original in order to do the restoration.

Earth rise! Taken in 1968 from a unmanned NASA lander. Pic: Wikipedia.
(See Facebook blog pics)

So much for putting all the conspiracy theories to rest!

Seriously, how the f**k does someone tape over the original footage of the moon landing? Now they’ve opened up a whole new can of worms. Read more about this via this link below to an AOL news article:

http://news.aol.com/article/nasa-lost-original-moon-video/575034?icid=main|htmlws-main|dl1|link3|http://news.aol.com/article/nasa-lost-original-moon-video/575034

AIR FORCE TEST GAME

Check this out. A friend of mine sent me this cool Air Force test game. The object of the game is simple. You move a red block around a square without getting hit by the flying blue blocks or touching the black walls. This game is more challenging than you think. Apparently if you can go longer than 18 seconds you are doing phenomenal. The US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.

I should warn you this game is both highly addictive and highly frustrating!! My best time so far is 28 seconds can you beat it? The game is called ‘Escapa’. Click on the link below to play it:

http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html

“THE VIXEN MANUAL”

While in Borders last Sunday afternoon I came across a book whose cover and title made me laugh out loud. Its called ‘The Vixen manual’. See below.....

(See Facebook blog pics)

The book is written by Karrine Steffans. Who is Karrine Steffans? you might ask. Well according to Amazon Steffans is a “New York Times best selling author” who “Since the success of her books, speaks at universities and celebrity panels” Her debut tell-all book in 2005 was entitled ‘Confessions of a Video Vixen’ . I’m not making this up.

This book I saw in Borders, with its full title ‘The Vixen manual. How to find, seduce & keep the man you want’ apparently came about because according to Amazon “Readers have wanted to know even more about what makes Karrine Steffans tick. How was she able to meet all the high profile politicians, movie stars, and other celebrities that are her close acquaintances? What skills does she possess to keep men wanting more? Finally, Karrine lays it all out and explains exactly what a woman must do to win over the man of her dreams. With chapters like "Never Let Him See You Sweat," "Flirting," "Encouraging His Manhood," and "Give Him What He Wants," this hot and sexy manual is a must-have for every woman's bookshelf".

Unbelieveable....Finally Karrine “lays it all out” it concludes. I don’t know whether I should be laughing or crying.

For more info on Karrine and her book’s visit her website at www.karrine.com

Obviously an avid Vixen manual reader! (See Facebook blog pics)

ON MY HANDS AND KNEES IN THE CONTENTS OF A ROCKSTARS PURSE!

Back in Ireland I first worked as a music teacher at the school where I was studying singing. I taught guitar. keyboards and beginners songwriting. Why I am telling you this? Well my singing teacher had some very famous students, one in particular was Internationally well known, and one day my singing teacher came to me and asked if I could help out this internationally known star with her songwriting. For the sake of this blog story I’m going to call her Jane.

While I did have some knowledge about songwriting this request had me puzzled. Why was I being asked to help her?? I suppose I should have seen it as a compliment.

So a few days later there I was sitting in my teaching room with this international superstar, I was a understandably a little nervous. Jane was dressed casually wearing jeans and a t-shirt and she carried a huge handbag with her. To my surprise she appeared to be very shy.

Anyway for this first lesson I decided to find out from her exactly what it was about her songwriting that she needed help with. Apparently she had done a lot of co writing and wanted to know more about song structure, the unwritten rules of songwriting.

I decided to play her some songs to show her song structure at work and it seemed to be making sense to be going well. One of the songs I played, towards the end of the lesson, was a song by American songwriter Dan Fogleberg. It was a song called 'Same Old Lang Syne'. Its a pretty amazing song that finishes very emotionally by going into the new years eve standard 'Old Lang Syne'.

As the song finished to my horror I suddenly noticed Jane was crying...not just a little...she was f**king sobbing!

"Are you alright?" I couldn't believe that I had unintentionally made her cry. What a first lesson freaking nightmare!!

"I'm ok" she said... "I just need a tissue" so Jane turned around and reached to her large handbag which was on top of my desk. But just as she reached for her bag she accidentally knocked it... and all its contents... all over the floor.

I immediately got down on my hands and knees to help Jane (who was obviously distressed) to put the contents of her handbag back when I suddenly realized that one of the contents of her handbag was a very... VERY.. large box of condom's! (The box said '200, assorted')

The condom box had opened and there were condom's all over the floor...seriously.... they were EVERYWHERE!!!!

(See Facebook blog pics)

At first I thought 'WOW! a box of 200 that's freaky!' and then I realized DOH! I was on my hands and knees in middle of a sea of condoms surrounded by the contents of a rock stars purse. Amazingly I just kept helping her pick everything up! I couldn't look at her though because if I had I would have burst out laughing.

As you can imagine once Jane had gathered her belongings into her purse she immediately got up said thank you, goodbye and left the room like a bat out of hell!!

I guess she wasn't so shy after all!

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends! Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This weeks blog is about a great football ('soccer' to you yanks) match that I went to see over the weekend. The game was David Beckham's LA Galaxy vs Ronaldinho's AC Milan. Even if you don't like soccer I still think you're gonna get a 'kick' out of this blog ;)

Remember I have questions for you to answer at the end of the blog so pay attention to the details people. Ok then, are you ready? Right...lets blow the whistle and get this blog started! Read on....

DAVID BECKHAM VS THE 'BOO BOYS'

Before I begin I'm going to give you some background on David Beckham and his LA Galaxy saga so you can have some context for my tale. David Beckham is the big star on the Galaxy team and this was a big game not just because the opposition was AC Milan (one of the biggest soccer teams in the world) but also because this was Beckham’s first home game this season for LA Galaxy. The Galaxy are actually midway through their season. Beckham just got back from being on loan at AC Milan. Yeah...its complicated.

(See facebook blog pics)

Because of Beckham’s extended loan spell there was a small contingent of diehard Galaxy fans who were not happy about the way Beckham missed the first half of the Galaxy season. I’m going to call them the ‘boo boys’ because they spent parts of game loudly booing Beckham.

Personally I think these 'boo boys' are totally missing the point. This is why... You see David Beckham is not the most famous soccer player in the world just because he’s good looking or because he’s practically like a ‘Coca Cola’ brand (so to speak) in the world of soccer. Beckham truly has a very impressive record as a player.

With Manchester United he won two FA cups, six premiership titles and the UEFA champions league. Also with Real Madrid he won La Liga (Spanish league title) and on the international stage he has captained his national team (England) and played in three world cups. He was also twice runner up for world player of the year.

Because of David Beckham every time LA Galaxy plays a game it becomes media newsworthy. No other team in the MLS (Major League Soccer) gets that kind of media attention, not even close. Essentially Beckham has now made the LA Galaxy a team known worldwide. And I haven’t even mentioned the fact that Beckham dramatically increases ticket and merchandise sales too. In terms of drawing a crowd Beckham is to soccer what Tiger Woods is to golf.

My final point to the 'boo boys' would be quit your whining bitches it was Beckhams extended stay at AC Milan that actually brought AC Milan over to play at Galaxy‘s home ground! I believe these ‘boo boys’ just aren’t seeing the bigger picture here.

THE WARM UP

LA Galaxy’s home ground ‘The Home Depot center’ (pictured below) is a relatively new stadium (opened in 2003) and has a capacity of about 27, 000. In 2005 it also became home to the other Los Angeles based MLS team ‘Chivas USA’.

(See facebook blog pics)

My friend Juan bought me a ticket to the game (God bless you Juan!) and his brother Hugo came too. The three of us were sitting at the south end and had a great view of everything. The way the stadium is designed it really didn’t look like there was a bad seat in the whole stadium. I really feels like you are right on top of the action.

When the players for both teams came out to warm up David Beckham got the loudest reception but it wasn’t all love he was getting. It was about half cheers and half boo’s. The AC Milan player who got the loudest reception was 2004 & 2005 world player of the year and world cup winner Ronaldinho (pictured below).

(See facebook blog pics) 

As the players finished warming up and they were walking off the field Ronaldinho had the crowd on their feet cheering as he cheekily chipped the ball into the open goal right in front of us. He maybe getting older now but Ronaldinho is still a great player and a showman through and through.

Just before kickoff, a singer came out to perform the national anthem. My friend Juan had warned me in advance about the fireworks that were coming up during the anthem but that still didn’t prepare me for the huge BOOM when the fireworks went off inside the stadium. It was incredibly loud and caught me by surprise because the fireworks started while the anthem was still being sung rather than at the end of the song. They were so loud that I literally jumped when they went off!

I've gotta say, I love the way Americans never do things like this 100% they always do it 150%. Its one of the reasons I love this country.

POSH SPICE, ME & A PAIR OF BINOCULARS!

Juan's brother had some binoculars at the game which was a great idea because we were able to get a better view of the players and the celebrities!

One of the celebs we saw was Beckham's wife Victoria aka 'Posh Spice'. Looking at the poor woman through the binoculars (so much for privacy) we could see clearly she really loves those tanning beds. Its weird to me that 'Posh' always seems to have the same look on her face.... even through binoculars! Its like a permanent stuck up pout! She was my favorite Spice Girl though ;)

However, as if just to prove my permanent pout theory wrong, here's Posh and her husband below. No pout there (doh!) she's smiling....or is it wincing? I'll let you decide.

(See facebook blog pics)

GAMETIME: FIRST HALF

Every time Beckham touched the ball initially there were boos from some sections of the crowd but Beckham being the class act he is ignored the begrudgers and let his feet do the talking. His trademark long passes were causing havoc for the AC Milan defense. Milan looked threatening too and Ronaldinho was getting huge cheers every time he did a fancy move.

He was showboating but no one cared we were getting our moneys worth. Milan scored first but in fairness it didn’t shake Galaxy. It wasn’t long before Beckham created the equalizing goal. He sent another pin point long pass forward to U.S. national team forward Landon Donovan who neatly passed onto the other Galaxy forward Alan Gordon who skillfully hit the ball first time and scored.

HALFTIME HANDBAGS

At half time the boos were much more subdued and Beckham was definitely starting to win the crowd over. I didn’t see Beckhams supposed altercation with a fan on his way into the dressing room but I read afterwards that he had tried to shake hands with an angry ’boo boy’ Galaxy fan but the 'boo boy' refused his hand. It was all 'handbags at ten paces'. That ‘boo boy’ fan got his comeuppance though because apparently he was then arrested and escorted from the ground!

GAMETIME: SECOND HALF

Being a friendly game there were many substitutions made during half time. One of the substitutions to come on for the second half for Milan was forward Filippo Inzaghi. Mr Inzaghi was part of the recent Italian world cup winning squad and is an extremely experienced player, it didn’t take long before he scored. Quickly again Galaxy rallied, their heads didn’t drop and from a Beckham corner kick they scored a great second goal.

Before Beckham took this corner kick there was a great moment though. Beckham deliberately walked slowly to the corner flag because this was the corner where most of the 'boo boys' were at. He was loudly booed and heckled but he didn't allow it to bother him. He took the corner Galaxy scored and he turned around to the 'boo boys' put his arms up as if to say 'What do you want?' and then put a finger to his lips as if to say 'Be quiet'. That's how to answer your critics.

After 75 minutes Beckham was substituted and he got a huge loud cheer and while there was still a few boos they were drowned out. In the end he had essentially won the crowd over. As the game continued Galaxy nearly won it with a great chance towards the end but it wasn't to be and so the game finished 2-2. But we couldn't complain. We had four goals and plenty of drama we definitely got our money's worth!

FINAL THOUGHTS

This was my first time to see an LA Galaxy game. I have watched their games on TV over the past two years (since Beckham arrived) and honestly with the exception of Beckham and Donovan I thought they were a very, very weak team. The current team I just saw though has greatly improved and kudos is deserved to Galaxy’s new coach this season, Bruce Arena.

 Arena (former U.S. national soccer team coach) has done a great job with Galaxy. They are a much more solid team defensively now and for passages of the game they really moved the ball around well. Based on what I saw and now that they have Beckham back I think this Galaxy team has a real chance of going on to win trophies this season.

Here’s a link to the article about the match from Goal.com:

 http://www.goal.com/en-us/news/1110/major-league-soccer/2009/07/20/1392455/galaxy-ac-milan-play-to-2-2-draw

 Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

CONVERSATION (COMMENTS) AFTER BLOG:

Brad: Beckham's doing what is necessary to continue playing for his national team. People seem to forget that when he signed for the Galaxy, he was not getting a sniff at international duty and was pretty much in forced retirement from the English team because Steve McCalaren couldn't pick a winning squad if he had all the world's best players at his disposal. So he came to the states with all intentions of playing for only the Galaxy and promoting soccer in the US. Then the English FA pulled their heads out, hired a proper manager and suddenly Beckham was back on the National Team's radar. And in order to stay on said radar, Capello flat out told him that he needed to prove that he could compete at a high level against real competition. And sorry to burst any bubbles of people that might think the MLS is a top league in the world of football, but the best teams in the MLS (Galaxy included) would consistently lose to most second, and some third division teams in England, Spain, and Italy. A 2-2 draw against AC Milan is respectable on the surface, but that draw also came against a team that hasn't played a competitive match in over a month, so take it for what it was, an entertaining exibition match. The fans paid their money, so of course they have the right to boo him. Was it right? That's not really for me to decide. All I can say is that if I paid for a season ticket, and my highest profile and most likely best player missed half of the season to play abroad (as opposed to missing matches due to injury), I might be a little pissed off, so I can see why they feel the need give Beckham the business. Don't necessarily agree with them, but can see their side of things. I think the reason "Posh" never smiles is because she had "Brit" teeth. Seriously, her teeth were f***ed up! I think I actually read somewhere that she actually said that was the reason she never really smiled in any of the photo shoots with the Spice Girls. I'm sure she's got them fixed with the billions her and the hubby have made in the past decade. The only things that will make soccer take off in America are..Crippling poverty and the collapse of baseball, basketball, and American football. It's unfortunate to say it, but look at why the rest of the world is soccer crazy. All you need is a ball and a place to play. Hell, you even see kids from the ghettos in South America that can't even afford a ball, tightly wrapping up plastic bags and trash to make balls to play soccer with. It is the only sport extremely poor kids can afford to play. Also, in most other countries in the wold, there are no other major sports that pay their athletes millions of dollars a year, so it's pretty much soccer, or nothing. So the best athletes in other countries play soccer, while the best athletes in the US play football, basketball, or baseball, because that's where the money is. That is why most of the players on the US National Team are so much smaller than the stars on other National teams. Don't believe me? Look up the size of our players and then compare them with sizes of the players on pretty much any European team. *That completes today's lesson so consider yourselves schooled. Study my notes because there will be a test later. And as always...You rock my friend!

Hugh: Brad. As always you call it how you see it...respect. I decided not to get into too much detail about the Beckham Galaxy saga for the benefit of my non soccer loving blog readers. It really is complicated. The idiot Mc Claren dismissing Beckham's international career leading to Beckham signing for Galaxy then Capello before he is Englands coach seeing firsthand Beckham's career revitalized as he reclaimed his place in his final few months at Real Madrid and helped them win La Liga this ultimately led to Capello (now England boss) giving Beckham a second chance and an ultimatum...play at the top level to get back in the national team. Beckham is a winner he wants the World Cup REAL BAD. He knows the England team now is strong and after the bitter memories of what might have been in his previous World Cups (especially the last one where he was captain) you and I Brad understand exactly why playing on the national team is so important for Beckham. All these club and country issues/scenarios are not ones that are easily related to in America. Then theres the issue of the comments Beckham made about Galaxy and the MLS during the AC Milan loan negotiations. Comments he personally apologized to the Galaxy players for making. While I do understand the truly passionate Galaxy season ticket holders not being able to forgive these comments and being mad about buying season tickets to discover that Beckham wouldn't be there for half the season I still think they need to look at the bigger picture here. They are taking it all too personally. What Beckham said wasn't tactful... but it was true. As for Beckham going to AC Milan on loan...what player on Galaxy wouldn't have taken the same opportunity? Would these same doehard Galaxy fans begrudge Donovan if he took the same opportunity? I doubt it. You are right about height too...I was surprised seeing Donovan in person...and most of the Galaxy team. Beckham seemed the tallest of the bunch at 6 foot. I know the game was AC Milans first of the pre season and Galaxy are mid season but Brad we'll have to go to another Galaxy game I think you'll see Galaxy really have started to get their act together. Their defense in particular was very solid compared to what I've seen the past two seasons. As for posh's brit teeth thats hilarious I never heard that before ha ha permanent pout mystery solved!

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. I have questions for you at the end so pay attention people. You shall be entertained. Read on.....

F**KOLOGY

Last Thursday night I found out that my show 24 hours later at O Malleys in Tucson was cancelled. Why? well the manager (who booked me over a month ago) at O Malleys was recently fired and the owner decided at the last minute he wasn’t going to honor my booking. I tried to reasonably reach a compromise but he wasn’t interested, obviously he couldn’t have cared less.

This kind of unprofessional bullshit isn’t just frustrating and disrespectful but at the end of the day it really makes me look unprofessional too. I take pride in being professional everywhere I go so that really pissed me off.

I didn’t have time to get mad though instead I immediately got focused on trying to find a replacement show. The first place that popped into my mind was a friend of mines restaurant in Tucson called ‘Vila Thai’. Within an hour of the O Malley’s show being cancelled and thanks to the help of my friend David McGuiggan we got the new show confirmed. That was good going but next I had to go and adjust all my event invitations on MySpace, Facebook and my Fanbridge e-mail list. Which is ideally not what you want to start doing at nine o clock the night before you drive seven hours to another state.

The following night as I drove to the new venue 'Vila Thai' (where I would be playing outdoors) it started to rain. It is monsoon season in Tucson and although the weather forecast said on Thursday there would be no rain on Friday. They were wrong.

I couldn't believe it. After O Malleys cancelling and now this?? In between showers I did try to set up my equipment but every time I got started the rain would come back. If someone put a hex on me...it was working!

I felt bad for my friends who had come down to see me but what could I do? I was just not destined to play in Tucson last Friday night. Between O Malleys and the rain...the word that comes to mind...'F**kology'.

(Special thanks to Vila and Ryan owners of 'Vila Thai'. Check out the website for their great restaurant. www.vilathai.com )

TRIPPIN’ INTO PATRICK SWAYZE’S ROADHOUSE!

After Friday nights fiasco the following afternoon I went to check out another Tucson venue possibility. It was a bar called ‘Boondocks’. Some of my friends in Tucson suggested that it maybe a place where I could play. Pictured below is the outside view of the bar.

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

As my friend David McGuiggan and I walked into Boondocks there a scuffle at the door!! Two very rough looking guys were being kicked out for smoking inside!? (It was 1pm). After we got past this little scuffle and went inside the bar the first thing that popped into my mind was ‘Oh my God I’ve walked onto the set for the Patrick Swayze movie Roadhouse’.

To my surprise Dave turned around to me with a huge smile on his face and said “Lets get a beer!” and so we sat down at the bar. Dave had a beer I had a water (I know, I know not very Irish) and we sat there just taking in the ambience! “I LOVE this place” Dave whispered to me laughing “I’m definitely coming back here!”.

Pictured below is the bar in Boondocks. The bargirl told us the buckets above the bar are where regulars get their 'mail'!

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

As Dave would put it the 'EV' (Entertainment Value) was very high in Boondocks. Its very much a locals bar and sitting there listening to some of the banter was hilarious. One guy there was telling a longwinded story the highlights (or was it lowlights) of which included the following quotes...

"When she knocked on my trailer....I answered the door butt naked".

He repeated the buck naked part several times...then he went on

"Hell then she wanted me to be her bodyguard". (WTF?)

I'm not sure if it's a location for me to play at in the future ha ha but it sure was an interesting experience going there!

Here's the website of boondocks:
www.boondockslounge.com
SO WHO DO YOU SUPPORT CELTIC OR RANGERS?

Up walks this guy to me on Saturday night while I was setting up and he said “ Hey there ya little wee Irishman”. (He was Scottish) It was hilarious that this guy was calling me 'wee' (meaning small) especially considering I'm 5'8 and he was 5'4.. if he was lucky!

This was to be the beginning of a back and forth exchange between this Scottish guy and me over the next few hours. Here's some examples of what was said...

First the whole crowd is clapping along and this prick isn't. Its like he's trying to make a point...I said "Hey...I thought you were Scottish?... represent".

He didn't like this.. so inbetween songs he started making sheep noises. Seriously!

So I said "Sorry pal I don't come from that part of Ireland...the sheep shagging part" everyone laughed but the sheep noises continued so I burned him again...

"Get a room" I said (implying him and his sheep should go find a local Motel).

A few minutes later I am talking about people clapping along and the little Scottish prick shouts out "You've all got the clap"....

"Speak for yourself " I retorted.

At this stage this little prick was getting tiresome so I decided to put his heckling little ass back in its box. "So" I said "Who do you support...Celtic or Rangers?".

He was dumbfounded...his face went red...he was speechless.

I should explain Celtic and Rangers are bitter Scottish football (soccer) team rivals. Catholics support Celtic and Protestants support Rangers. So this was a very LOADED question. A very common question asked by Irish people to see what side you're on!

He left shortly afterwards. He should have known that crossing verbal swords with an Irishman, armed with a mic, who deals with hecklers on a regular basis was never a smart plan.

ALL YOU CAN EAT BACON AND CABBAGE

On the flipside of the f**kology of O Malleys I had a warm welcome from everyone in Mulligan’s on Saturday night. In this venue I am appreciated by all the staff and owners and it shows.

For the past few weeks they have been promoting my show with posters all over the bar and with doorknob flyers (like the ones the pizza companies use) distributed in the locality. The artwork on these posters and flyers was done by my friend Neal Burt.
Here is the poster he designed below....

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

I think the poster looks cool, Neal did a really great job. When you see the 2 by 3 foot version in person (so to speak) it kicks ass. When I saw the part that read....“All you can eat bacon & cabbage with potatoes $7.50” I admit I had to laugh. Don‘t get me wrong, I appreciate Neal’s work and the line is appropriate for the situation trying to get local people out to the show etc but WOW... when my friends in Ireland see this?...they are SO gonna take the piss out of me.

AN UNWRITTEN RULE

I was touched by the support and the very thoughful, kind and appreciative words from my friends in Tucson this weekend. Some came out both nights and were very understanding when rain cancelled the second Friday night show. Some of my friends had gotten SO MAD about what happened with O Malleys that I was honestly taken aback. I was mad too, believe me, but in this type of situation I don't tend to let my anger get the better of me. Let me briefly explain why....

You see in spite of what may go on behind the scenes with my job you have to just keep smiling and get on with it. Its like I have to just shut off the frustration and save it till later. This takes effort for me because I don’t hide my feelings very well. Why do I choose to do this? Well its basically like an unwritten rule for professional musicians. No matter what, the show must go on.

To highlight this very point when I saw Jermaine Jackson singing Charlie Chaplin’s song ‘Smile’ at Michael Jackson’s memorial last week I suddenly understood why that song was Michaels favorite. Here are some of the lyrics....

Smile though your heart is aching. Smile even though it’s breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow. Smile and maybe tomorrow.
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness. Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near.
That’s the time you must keep on trying. Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile. If you just smile.

(The music for Smile was written by Charlie Chaplin for his final 1936 movie ‘Modern Times’. Lyrics were added in 1954 by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons).

Good lord! on face value those lyrics are so f**king sad but to me now on another level they also speak about courage in the face of adversity.

Another example of this unwritten entertainers law is talked about in the Queen song ‘The Show Must Go On’. Here are the lyrics of the chorus below.....

The Show must go on! The Show must go on!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!

And finally in my own song Hollywood ending I say....

“Some nights fly, some never end. Either way the show it must go on.
This trade of mine is not just a part of me. My heart and soul are in my songs”.

Some of you might think this is dumb or meaningless but to professional musicians this unwritten law is something many of us take very seriously.

WATCHING YOUR FRIEND GETTING EATEN. NOW THAT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU SEE EVERY DAY!

I have mentioned my friend Chelsea Benson in some of my blogs before. I have talked about her alter ego ‘Bender’ and also the fact that she was the producer of a zombie movie! Well I finally got to see Chelsea's movie this weekend. I thought it was great.

Its a student movie so they didn't have a big budget or anything but I have to say Chelsea and her crew really did a great job with it. Its called 'Dorm Of The Dead'.

Chelsea is the movies producer she helped with the makeup and she is also acting in the movie too. She doesn't have a speaking part but you see her on screen a few times. In fact at the end of the movie you actually see her getting eaten!

This was a weird thing to watch...I know its only a movie but Chelsea's a nice girl and I didn't like watching her get eaten!

It was freakin' gross...but it is a zombie movie what did I expect!

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

Checkout the trailer for ‘Dorm of the Dead’ on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPFBzBO1lR4
And here’s a link to where you can buy ‘Dorm of The Dead’ merch!
http://www.zazzle.com/coconutmonkey/gifts?cg=196038469097694242
(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

Have a great week my friends.


Hugh

Hello my friends!

THE SCARS OF RENAISSANCE FAIRE

Below is a close up of the f**ked up bruising that my friend Jenny in Fresno got on her arm after shooting arrows with a crappy bow at a recent Ren Faire!

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

Man thats nasty. Jenny says she didn't feel the pain at the time it was only afterwards that she felt a little sore. Then the next morning when she woke up she couldn't move her arm!!! What kind of insane pain tolerance does this Fresno girl have?

12 QUESTIONS

A few weeks back a friend of mine in Fresno (Shana Skiba) sent me a new note/quiz on Facebook called ‘12 questions’. It reminds me of the popular 25 things note that was going around Facebook a few months ago. The difference between the 25 things note and the 12 questions note is that the 12 questions gets your friends to answer questions about you rather than filling in the blanks about yourself, like with 25 things. These are the 12 questions.....

1. Are we friends?
2. When did we meet?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What reminds you of me?
8. If you could give me anything what would it be?
9. How well do you know me?
10. When's the last time you saw me?
11. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
12. Are you going to post this in your notes and see what I say about you?

Ok so some of the questions are pretty straight forward but at the same time others are not exactly the kind of questions you would ask your friends every day. I thought some of them were very interesting like what was your first impression?, what reminds you of me? and ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?

I had a real mix of friends answer the questions, I had friends from my high school days, friends I’ve know a few years and others just a few months. To be honest some of the answers I got to these questions really took me by surprise. For your entertainment I’ve compiled some of the more humorous answers to two of the questions below....

Give Hugh a nickname:
Metal, Big Daddy, Superman, Fergie, Strumasaurus Rex, Hughie Fergus and the news, Hughinator, Hughie Huggie Bear, The Irish Nanny, Hippie and Lanner (as in rhymes with spanner).

What reminds you of Hugh?
80’s rock (I‘m cringing right now), Zombies, The Beastie Boys, Helium, Aliens (naturally), Thin Lizzy, Domo Kun, Spider pig song, Chicks with guns (hell yeah), Puppies and bunnies, Velvet (wtf?), late nights at the drive thru and the Irish blues guitarist Rory Gallagher (pictured below)....

THE TOWN OF F**KING, AUSTRIA......SERIOUSLY!

A friend of mine in Tucson recently sent me an e-mail with an newspaper article about a town in Austria called F**king. Yes you read that correctly... ‘F**king’.

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

Think this is bullshit? a photoshop doctored photo job? Ok then check out the Austrian town of 'F**king' on the map below....

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

Oh my God you could have endless hours of fun with this....Go with me here...Imagine you met a man called Boris from F**king Austria....

Hi my name is Boris I come from F**king. My whole family comes from F**king.
I work in F**king and I met my wife in F**king. When I leave town on business I miss F**king and cannot wait to get back to F**king.

Oh that's so childish I know...ha ha...so here's more...

There is always fun in F**king. You will never grow tired of F**king.

Ahhh...I really love my F**king.

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

'Bitte! Nicht so schnell', translation 'Please! Not so fast!....

So in English the full sign reads...'Fucking, please not so fast' (over a picture of two kids). WOW! you just could not make this up.

Still think its bullshit? here is the Wikipedia town of F**king page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria
and the official town of 'F**king' T-shirt...

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

And finally this is the F**king village website:

http://www.fucking.at/fucking/eOrt1.htm
HAUNTING OF THE HUGH NATION UPDATE

A few weeks back I wrote about the haunting of the Hugh Nation. I now have an update. On July 4th (outdoors) in my friend Marty's back garden we got some more great orb photo evidence. See below...

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

That big one in the top right corner is freaking huge! isn't it? And here's another picture below with six orbs in it. Weirdness. These pictures are being professionally looked into as we speak and as I said before I'll keep you in the loop as things progress.

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

BTW What do you think of Marty's homemade military kilt?

These weren't to be the only weird things that were captured on camera in Fresno this July 4th weekend though. See below...

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

This is Ian 'the cannon stealer' (true story) showing off his personal air conditioner unit. Apparently the fan was so weak hanging around his neck that he just decided to put it around his ears instead. Makes sense....still..it also looks kind of freaky doesn't it?!

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

This is me last Friday night obviously having some kind of 'Jesus moment'??

Jesus in a shiny batman shirt with an American flag guitar strap. Am I checking for raindrops or getting ready to fire an energy bolt? You decide!

Energy bolt?. What? Ok check out my right hand in the shape of a gun!!! Doesn't it look like there's some kind of energy building up in it? WEIRDNESS.

QUOTES FROM FRESNO: BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL AND THE HEAT

1. “Dude if you need condoms don’t worry I’ve got plenty”.

2. “I took a pregnant girl to prom....but I wasn’t the father”.

3. With little encouragement my friend brazenly does Michael Jackson’s moonwalk across the bar to which I quipped over the microphone “Dude... you are so white”.

4. The following is a description of a recent house party in Fresno...“Yeah the girls were inside watching porn while the guys were outside in the backyard singing karaoke”. Shouldn’t that be the other way around?

5. A friend of mine introduces me to her boyfriend for the first time and the very first thing he says to me was “Oh man she talks about you ALL THE TIME she screams your name during sex....so do I.”. WTF???

6. A huge billboard advertisement for farming equipment insurance beside Highway 99 South says simply... “Insure the manure out of it”.

THANK YOU!

To everyone who came out to the show on Friday night and for the respect shown by everyone during the July 4th show ;) To Lauren and Ed who drove two hours each way to be at Friday's show! To Tami Herman for taking pictures, Erin Prater for passing on the town of 'F**king' link and last but not least to Marty and Anne for putting me up. God bless you, I appreciate you all.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This weeks blog I am talking about Michael Jackson. With wall to wall media coverage 24/7 ever since his death this is not a repeat of what you've seen or heard already. This is my personal overview on his musical genius, his tragic personal life and his sudden passing. At the end of the blog I have questions for you. I want to read about your Michael Jackson memories too.

Michael Jackson, 1984.

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

THE GENIUS VS THE TRAGEDY

Thinking about writing this blog I’ve been struggling to seperate Michael Jackson the musical genius/legend from the man who we all witnessed over the years struggling with his tragic personal life. From his bizarre physical transformation to his many illnesses and financial troubles to his struggle with addiction and the lurid accusations that haunted his final 15 years. I am just finding it hard to try and seperate it all.

What I can tell you for certain is that I am furious about the circumstances of his death. But before I get into that let me explain where I’m coming from with Michael.

THE MEMORIES

Its incredible how music can remind you of a certain time and place in your life and when I heard the news that Michael Jackson had died all of a sudden memories associated with his music started flooding back.

I remember watching the Thriller video for the first time on a TV program in Ireland called MT USA. It was Irelands first incarnation of MTV. I remember it felt like the whole world stopped when that video was first aired. There had never been anything like that music video before and I remember at the time it really felt like I was watching music history happen.

I also remember an amazing summer spent in Dublin with my cousins (Deirdre, Patricia and Desmond) and my aunt Barbara visiting from New York. I remember my cousins and I playing the album Thriller over and over again. I remember especially the song ‘Human Nature’. It still gives me chills when I listen to it.

I feel fortunate to have seen a Michael Jackson concert too. It was in Lansdowne Road Stadium in Dublin and it was part of his ‘Dangerous’ CD world tour. I have to say it was by far the most unbelievable show I have ever seen. Part Vegas show, part sci fi movie, part rock show, part dance extravaganza... it was just spectacular.

At one point in the show a large part of the main stage raised up and 30 or 40 dancing zombies emerged for the Thriller dance routine!! and at the end it appeared as if Michael Jackon (really a stand in) took off from the stage and flew off on a freakin jetpack!! I’d never seen a show anything like it.

This is Michael Jackson's star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

THE ACCUSATIONS

It was during this same Dangerous tour that the Jordan Chandler allegations of child molestation first emerged. I remember this immediately had a devastating impact on Jackson's career.

Pepsi quickly dropped their sponsorship of the tour and with Jackson suffering from stress related exhaustion the last leg of the tour was cancelled. I also remember seeing Michael Jackson’s video statement fighting back against the Chandler allegations after he was strip searched and photographed naked by the criminal investigators at Jackson's home (Neverland Ranch). It was an ugly moment.

In the end fearing a protracted court case Jackson settled the Chandler suit a decision which garnered unfavorable media attention. It was translated as an admission of guilt. Shortly afterwards Jackson went into rehab to treat his addiction to pain meds. Obviously the rehab didn’t work but more about that in a minute.

Later I remember watching the Martin Bashir TV documentary about Jackson, it was a very, very sad insight into Jacksons unreal world. In the documentary Jackson seemed out of touch, delusional. I remember him climbing up a tree saying he thought of himself as being like Peter Pan. For all his success it seemed that tragically his personal problems seemed to have left him lost, just a shadow of a man.

The Bashir documentary was meant to, from Jackson's point of view, be an insight into his life and to give the world a better insight into who 'the real' Jackson was. It didn't work out that way. In fact it was a total PR disaster for Jackson. It ultimately led to the more recent six month trial of Jackson who was again accused of child molestation.

After a lengthy court case Jackson was aquitted on all charges. But while the Jackson camp cried vindication unfortunately these accusations continued to haunt Jackson for the rest of his life. For some these accusations will forever cast a dark cloud over his musical genius.

Michael Jackson signing an autograph, 1988.

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

THE AFTERMATH

A few hours after Michaels death the Jackson’s family spokesperson Brian Oxman speaking on CNN said the following...

"The people who have surrounded him have been enabling him. If you think the case of Anna Nicole Smith was an abuse, it's nothing in comparison to what we have seen taking place in Michael Jackson's life,"

On the same channel later Actress/Dancer and friend of Michael Jackson, Liza Minelli said that “All hell is going to break loose” when the autopsy results are released.

These quotes are the essence of what has me so mad about Jackson’s death. These are his friends talking they knew exactly what was going on. It makes me so mad that once again a musical talent is destroyed by sickofants and leeches preying on the weaknesses of an artistic soul. Don’t get me wrong Michael obviously bears his share of responsibility too for allowing these people around him in the first place.

'Demerol' the pain killiing medication which Jackson was injected with shortly before his death is a very dangerous drug. "Several countries, including Australia, have put severe limits on its use or curtailed it outright. Nevertheless, some physicians continue to use it as a first line strong opioid" (Wikipedia).

Think I'm making this up? Here's some FDA (Federal Drug Administration) information about Demerol. Just click on this link below, when the page opens scroll down to the headline 'Warnings' and read down from there. If you're not mad now,,,you will be.

http://www.drugs.com/pro/demerol.html
Amazingly Jacksons 'personal physician' who administered this injection of Demerol and who did so every day is apparently not considered a suspect??? WHAT? This is unfreaking believeable.

As if to prove my point about how this doctor like many other enablers have literally been only interested in using Michael for their own selfish gain in spite of Jackson's death this prick has just come out and said he is sueing Michael Jackson's concert promoter for $300,000 dollars!!! An amount he claims he's owed for the past two months work as Jackson's personal physician.... Is this guy for f**king real?

In my opinion the coroner in this case is acting cagey too. The stalling of giving out the results from Jackson's autopsy is very suspicious to me.

Why? is the questrion and who is he protecting?

Oh you think I'm paranoid? Well its not just me who thinks theres some covering up going on, the Jackson family are furious about this, so much so that they have begun their own private investigation in Michael's death and have just had a second autopsy performed.

When both autopsy results do finally come out it I suspect it will be just like Liza Minelli said "All hell will break loose". I just hope that justice will be done and that the enablers, sickofants and leeches who surrounded Michael will not be allowed to just walk away from this.

Enough is enough. How many musical genuises does it take to die directly or indirectly from addiction to medications before someone stands up and says NO MORE?

BILLIE JEAN JAM. HOW MJ’S SONGS ARE IN OUR HEADS!

On a more positive note and thinking about Jackson’s ongoing musical legacy last Thursday night at a show in San Clemente (just a few hours after Jackson’s death) everyone was asking me did I know any Michael Jackson songs. I told them I didn’t but just from memory I quickly recalled how to play the riff from Billie Jean and started playing it. The crowd recognized it immediately and an impromtu Billie Jean Jam started. One guy sang the keyboard riff...du du, du du.. then another guy mimicked the drum beat and then someone else started singing the words. There was lots of laughter and we had fun playing with it. Its part of what Michael wanted his music to do. Its also a testimony to Michael Jacksons musical genius just how his music sticks in our heads.

Michael Jackson's music will live on and as time passes his personal tragedies will most likely fade. Perhaps then we will all be better able to fully appreciate just how much of a musical genius he was.

One of the statues put up around the world to promote Michael Jackson's Invincible CD.

(See pic in Blog pics album facebook.com/hughlehane)

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This week I am talking about movies and you all know how I love movies! I’m talking about movie stars, movie fans and movie star dreams. I've got questions for you at the end so pay attention. Its time to switch off you cell phones, take your feet off the chair in front of you stop slurping your soda so goddamn loud and focus people. Ready? Ok, here we go..

CHASING TWILIGHT

First off I’m going to talk about movie stars and their devoted fans. A friend of mine in Fresno recently told me a story about his daughter, a hardcore ‘Twilight’ fan, and her trip to Canada to try and work as an extra in the second Twilight movie ‘New Moon’.

She and her girlfriend had an ulterior motive though, their main goal (like every other female fan of twilight) was to meet Edward (actor Robert Pattison). When my friends daughter and her friend, lets call them Bella & Alice (wink, wink) arrived at the small town in Canada where the movie was being filmed they were faced with immediate good and bad news.

The bad news? There was no more extras needed for the movie. But the good news? The motel they were staying at (the only motel in town) was where all the stars from the movie were staying too!.... JACKPOT!

Bella and Alice’s Twilight celebrity encounters began in the motel bar the first night they arrived when they were approached by one of the main female stars of the movie, Ashley Greene who plays Alice Cullen. Ashley just came right up to them and said “Can I sit with you guys?”. Taken aback Bella and Alice said “Sure”. They then proceeded to spend the whole evening hanging out and drinking with Ashley and at the end of the night she insisted on paying for everything. How cool was that?

(See Pics in my Blog Pics gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

Pictured above: Ashley Greene, as Alice Cullen.

But the best was yet to come. The next day Bella and Alice were standing outside the motel chatting with a large group of female Twilight fans outside the motel when they spotted actor Robert Pattison (Edward) sneaking out a side entrance of the motel. The crowd of hysterical fans all rushed to the alley by the motel where Pattison had exited towards but for some reason as soon as they caught sight of Pattison again they all froze at the entrance to the alley about 20 feet away from him watching him walk away.

Bella wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass and so she decided to run after him! Strangely though, none of the other girls followed? Bella called after him as she ran but he kept walking. When Bella caught finally up with Pattison he simply said “Hi... I am sorry... I am just having a bad day.. I don’t mean to disrespect you”.

Bella however was undeterred by his artistic mood and she started to talk with him like a normal human being (rather than like a delusional fan) he responded well to this and so he stopped and started talking to her. They stood there talking for about 10/15 minutes. After they talked Pattison gave her a hug (all the girls at the entrance to the alley screamed!) Pattison went on his way and Bella as proud as she could be was then mobbed by the Twilight girl fans. She had spoken to Edward!! she was now their hero!

(See Pics in my Blog Pics gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

This is Robert Pattison signing autographs outside the LA premiere of 'Twilight'.

EVER IMAGINED YOURSELF UP THERE ON THE BIG SCREEN?

Ok now its onto the subject of movie star dreams! Have you ever dreamed about seeing yourself up on the big screen? being a movie star?

I mean who at some point hasn’t.. right? Well I am very excited to report that I was fortunate to see some friends of mine last week see this dream actually come true!

My songwriting teacher and friend Harriet Schock (who I have talked to you all about many times in my blog before) my friends Andrea Ross Greene (singer/songwriter) and Kelly De Sarla (actress/musician) are all in a new movie called 'Irene in Time'.

I am going to talk about the movie itself in a moment but first back to that dream of seeing yourself up there on the big screen. There I was sitting at the sneak peak showing of the movie 'Irene in Time' in the dark theatre watching my friends up there on the big screen and it was just blowing my mind... here were these people I knew as mere mortals (super talented mortals) now transported up onto the big screen, larger than life....like giants!! I was so excited for them...and then I thought...if this is blowing my mind then what must it be like for all of them?

Afterwards they all seemed pretty calm about it. Which was strange to me because I felt like I wanted to jump up and down like a kid on Christmas morning!! I was so excited for them. It must be such a surreal thing to experience, to watch yourself up on the big screen like that, I'm sure they must be in shock, it probably hasn't hit them yet.

Most of the songs in the movie are written by Harriet and performed by Harriet and her band. The LA Times review of 'Irene in Time' says “Harriet Schock’s literate songs are characters in themselves”. What a great compliment that is and its so true.

Pictured below in a scene from the movie 'Irene in Time' are (left to right:) Daryl Silberman, Harriet Schock, Tanna Frederick and Andrea Ross-Greene.

(See Pics in my Blog Pics gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

Also pictured in a scene from 'Irene in Time' below (on the right) is my friend Kelly De Sarla. The other actors in the scene with Kelly below are, on the left, David Proval (Richie Aprile in The Sopranos) and in the center Oscar nominated, two time Golden Globe winner, Karen Black! I'm sure you'd agree its a compliment to Kelly that she would be cast opposite such accomplished actors. This was her feature film debut!

(See Pics in my Blog Pics gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

IRENE IN TIME

Irene in Time is an independent movie directed by Henry Jaglom (as I mentioned above) and stars the phenomenal actress Tanna Frederick.

Personally I loved 'Irene in Time' and I highly recommend you go and see it. The actors, the music, the directing its all totally top notch. The story is a real emotional rollercoaster ride. If you have a pulse I guarantee you'll laugh, you'll wince, you'll get mad and you'll cry....and every other emotion in between! This is definitely not your typical Hollywood movie, it is a movie with soul.

It will pull you right in and linger with you long afterwards. I loved director Jaglom's style so much that now I can't wait to go and rent out all his other movies! I'm not a quote unquote "actor" but I'd kill to be in a movie like this! Why? because this is real art, because its really communicating with people. I mean what self respecting artist/musician/actor wouldn't want to be a part of that?

So tell me more? what is this movie about? Give me details! I hear you asking.

Alright in a paragraph....it is “A puzzle about love and time, a mystery in which clues are found and secrets are revealed, Irene in Time is a look at the complex relationships between fathers and daughters and the consequences - years later - on the grown women's relationships to the men in their lives.” I am quoting the synopsis here from the movie website because I feel it sums up the movie very perfectly.

(See Pics in my Blog Pics gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

Here is a link to the movie website and the tv spot and trailer below:

www.ireneintime.com
http://www.ireneintime.com/trailertvspot.html
GODDAMNIT JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY!

Now I'm going to talk to you about the dream of being a movie star. An actress friend of mine in Fresno is right now shooting her first feature film. In the middle of all this she organized a free professional photo shoot for me with her as the model of my Hugh Nation T-Shirts! Why would she do that for me? I'll tell you why because I opened my f**king mouth and said what needed to be said! Confused?...Let me explain.

Have you ever noticed something good about someone and you just spontaneously wanted to tell them but instead you say to yourself ‘Nah... I won’t say that.. they’ll think I’m weird or I have an ulterior motive?

Well I want to know what prick decided to write this unwritten law. The unwritten law that being nice and spreading good karma is now actually strange and or suspicious conduct? Man I want to look into the eyes of that prick and say f**k you sir and the horse you rode in on!

The first time I met my friend Christina Tellifson was when I was playing at Moynihan’s Irish Bar in Fresno, she was the ‘new girl’ working behind the bar. To be brutally honest the first thing I thought to myself when I first met Chris was “What the f**k is a girl like that (who looks like a movie star) doing working behind a bar?”. You’ll see for yourself in the pictures below Chris simply oozes movie star.

Well obviously I didn’t say this to her. I mean I’d just met her! However, a few weeks later the next time I was back playing in Moynihan’s I decided to say something to Chris. Why? you might ask. I just felt compelled to, thats why! F**k it the way I see things some stuff just needs to be said!! Somehow I just got the a feeling that she needed a little encouragement.

I started off gently and asked her had she ever tried acting before. She told me she had done some acting but mostly just local drama society stuff. I was delighted to hear this and I went on to tell her that she really should pursue acting. She said she’d love to and I told her in my humble opinion I thought she’d do well.

Over the next few months playing at Moynihan’s I got to know Chris better and bit by bit I got more comfortable talking to her about acting. I explained to her how being in the entertainment business I understood how crucial it can be to have that ‘x factor’ so to speak and I told her that I thought she had it.

Over the years people have said things to me about my music that has given me great encouragement to keep on going and I feel like its my responsibility to pass that good karma along. Do you know what I mean?

Then a few months ago my cell phone rang and it was Chris, she was calling to tell me that she had just got a part she auditioned for in a feature film!! I was thrilled for her. She said she wanted to let me know because she really appreciated me being so encouraging to her.

So wheres that prick that made up that unwritten law that said you shouldn't open your mouth and say what you need to say?....oh the silence is deafening.

This is Christina Tellifson below in a still from her upcoming movie 'Stricken'.

(See Pics in my Blog Pics gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

To get more info about the movie 'Stricken' please visit the website below:

www.strickenthemovie.com
T-SHIRT PROMO SHOTS

But the story doesn't end there. I had asked Chris recently would she mind taking a picture of herself in my Hugh Nation shirt to help me promote it. Last week she went and organized a professional photoshoot for me. When I saw the pictures I was blown away. I would have been happy with one or two shots she took at home but she went and did the whole thing very professionally.

Here are some pictures below from this photo shoot that Chris did for me. You can see more on my facebook and MySpace photo galleries. Chris and her photographer friend, Mike Schweizer, really put some thought into these photos. The locations (outside and inside Sequoia Brewing North) the props (cap, beer, dartboard etc) the front and back shots of the shirts. And Chris did all this for me for free! Thank you so much Chris for returning the karma, now you go girl and take Hollywood by storm!

(See Pics in my Blog Pics gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

"This is an Irish bar. This is what we do!" is the quote on the back of the T-shirt below. It is a phrase I often roar at the crowd to get things going, its seemed appropriate ;)

(See Pics in my Blog Pics gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

To buy a Hugh Nation T-Shirt please visit:

http://irishhugh.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Shop/
QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

1. Bella and Alice went to Canada chasing after their movie star crush. How far have you gone for your movie star/rock star crush?

2. Have you ever been in a movie or know someone who was? Share your or their experience of seeing yourself/themselves on screen.

3. What would you like to say to Chris for donating her time and energy into the Hugh Nation Shirt photo shoot?

Have a great week my friends. If you can please go and see 'Irene in Time'.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This is part two of last weeks blog. As usual I’ve got some questions for you at the end. Be warned though this weeks blog is both freaky and spooky! So get ready, make sure you’re wearing something black, close the blinds, turn off the lights and light some candles. Are you ready? Ok, then let us begin. Read on....

GESTURES WITH FORK: A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT!

In between songs on Saturday night I looked down at my friend Katie H (also referred to in previous blogs as Diva Katie and ‘Sonic shaker’) who was sitting right up the front at the show and I noticed she was holding a fork on her nose!?!

Yes she was looking straight at me smiling while holding a fork at the top of her nose. (WTF?)

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked her over the microphone.

“Fork you?” (people laughed).

“Yeah what’s that supposed to mean?” Katie H’s friend Katie D asked.

“He’s married you know!” Katie D said jokingly but now Katie H was embarrassed.

“Oh leave her alone” I said coming to Katie H’s defense.

“ I’ll tell you what she meant” I continued on in a mock hippie voice.....

“The fork represented the ‘treble clef’ man...and it was like touching her nose... yeah...the gateway to her senses”.

(A clef (from the French for "key") is a musical symbol used to indicate the pitch of written notes. A treble clef represents the upper part of the piano)

Not sure if I helped Katie H out there, or just made it worse!

Later after the show I picked up a fork put it on my nose and looked at Katie H so she could see how....ahem...freaky it looked.

“It looks weird doesn’t it?“ I said to her and laughing she agreed.

Seriously... go now blog readers get a fork and hold it up to your nose and then go look at yourself doing this in a mirror. See?...its freaky looking isn’t it. I won’t even pretend to understand what was going on in Katie H’s head when she did that!

Anyway, moving swiftly on, seeing my fork demonstration Brandon (aka Funky B) took it upon himself to continue this ‘gestures with fork’ social experiment. But when he now put the fork on his nose he made a crazy face. Wow...it looked scary! He made the fork look dangerous! Suddenly now the possibilities for what could be communicated with ‘fork nose’ exploded.

So Brandon’s girlfriend Katie D immediately seized the moment and took it to the next level. First she put the fork on her nose made a foxy face and then dropped the fork down in front of her mouth stuck out her tongue and started flicking her tongue vigorously!?!

There is seemingly no end to what can be communicated with the aid of a fork!

I will finish this by saying that Katie H, the artist formally know as Diva Katie and ‘Sonic boom’ shall hence forth be referred to as ‘Fork Nose’. And Katie D hence forth you shall be referred to as ‘fork tongue’!

FINAL DESTINATION...FOR REAL?

Imagine this... you miss a flight that crashes only to die a few days later in a car crash. Wow...freaky.. sounds like that movie ‘Final Destination’ right?

Well incredibly this really happened!

Italian pensioner Johanna Ganthaler and her husband were at the end of their vacation in Brazil when a strange twist of fate occurred. By arriving late for their return flight to Europe they had narrowly escaped their doom. The flight they missed was flight 447 the Air France plane that tragically crashed into the Atlantic on May 31st!

They returned to Europe on another flight the following day but three days later unfortunately their luck ran out. Mrs Ganthaler was killed when her car veered across a road in Kufstein, Austria, and swerved into an oncoming truck. Her husband was also seriously injured in the crash.

Bizarrely last week I saw theres a trailer online for a fourth Final Destination movie that’s coming out soon called ‘The Final Destination’ ....weirdness.

So was this coincidence or fate? I’ll let you decide. You can read the article about this strange story via the link below:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article6479203.ece
THE HAUNTING OF THE HUGH NATION?

On Saturday afternoon some friends of mine were looking at pictures from my show the previous night when they noticed something strange about the photos. So on Saturday night they brought their laptop to the show so I could see first hand what they discovered.

As I looked at each of the photographs I was surprised to see that every single one appeared to have orbs in them! Ok so whats an orb? you might ask. On wikipedia.com it describes orbs as unexpected, typically circular artifacts in photographs Sometimes the artifact leaves a trail, indicating motion. An orb is considered in some circumstances to represent various kinds of paranormal phenomena such as light beings, aliens, extraterrestrial spacecraft, ghosts, or some type of elemental being. While there are scientific explanations for the appearance or orbs in some photographs, existing scientific theories fail to explain all such appearances. Read more info via this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orb_(photographic)

There were many, many pictures I saw with what appeared to be orbs. Interestingly these pictures were not just from the night before but from previous shows I played in Fresno (indoors and outdoors) as well!! It certainly appeared to me at least to be something worth further professional investigation. A friend of mine told me she knew someone in Fresno with paranormal investigative experience and she suggested she’d ask this investigator to take a look at the pictures.

After seeing these pictures I remembered that I had been experiencing some very strange electrical surges during the show the night before. At the time I put the surges down to minor equipment malfunction, or electrical interference from other equipment in use in the bar but now I wasn’t so sure.

Since these photographs first came to light (no pun intended) I have been in contact with the paranormal investigator and they have now started looking into the possible haunting of the Hugh Nation. Just to prove that our paranormal investigator is indeed objective when she saw this first photograph below she immediately dismissed it as part of the investigation saying “There is too much reflection off the windows and the polished wood to be conclusive”.

I am showing you this picture though because its a reasonable visual example of what I'm talking about. When you look closely you can see six possible orbs.

(Please keep in mind these pictures have been compressed and are not their original size. The suspected orb’s are much clearer when viewed in the original resolution of the photo’s the way I first saw them)

(See Pics in the Blog Pics Gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

Wow! red eyed Marty looks scary in this one! ;) There are six possible orbs in this picture. They are faint, so let me help you find them. The first one is directly above the head of my guitar. The second straight up from the first orb, just over the top of the red window frame. The third and fourth are two smaller ones one above the other to the right of that. The fifth is right in the center of Marty's chest (half on the guitar strap) the sixth is right above the fifth making part of my guitar strap look shinier.

Now in this photo below from a previous Fresno show (5/9/09) in a different venue to the first photo our investigator says that the circular light (in the black) “Above Carol Ann (the girl on the right) IS probably a (paranormal) orb”.

(See Pics in the Blog Pics Gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

Again its not definitive proof but different and clearer that the first picture.

On a side note that may or may not be related to the orb photographs and the electrical surges a friend of mine claimed he had got and I quote “the smell of death”!!! (WTF?) at the show the orbs were photographed at on Friday night (This was before there was any talk of orbs).

This is not something I can personally testify to but my friend also claimed others at the show also smelt this deathly 'sour' smell. How my friend knows the smell of death or why didn’t more people smell it? I’m not sure. Maybe I don’t want to know! or maybe its just some people are more open to paranormal activity? Then again lets not forget we were in a bar! maybe its just alcohol talking (alcoholic spirits at work!) or just someone’s really bad personal hygiene!

Going back to orbs though.. personally I have experienced orb activity. Yes indeed. Not in a photograph though. It was actually on a security camera, ‘live’ as it happened.

I watched in disbelief as an orb emerged through a wall, zig zagged across a room (narrowly avoiding someone) and then disappeared through the opposite wall! It moved fast but you could clearly see it was a ball of energy. It sent shivers down my spine. I witnessed this late one night after a show at the Auld Dubliner Irish bar in Long Beach. The manager of the bar (a fellow Irishman) also witnessed this. In fact he had been showing me orb activity they had previously recorded on their security cameras when we then actually saw it ‘live’ (so to speak).

Unlike orbs on video though orb’s in photographs are very difficult to prove. As you can see above. A photographer friend of mine (a believer in the paranormal) tells me he is however very skeptical of orb’s in photos because he says that most orb photos can be put down to something he referred to as ‘Ballooning’.

What’s ballooning? you ask. Well this is apparently what happens when a speck of dust, caught out of focus in a picture, blows up in the picture into what appears to be a circle or a ball of light.

Only one thing is certain though from all of this. The investigation of the possible haunting of the Hugh Nation will continue and I’ll be updating you with any other findings as soon as I get them.

Superstition and fear of the unknown can be powerfully suggestive to the mind but actual experience of paranormal activity also can make a believer out of even the most skeptical. I’ll just leave it up to you to decide what’s real here and what’s not.

Finally here’s a link to a web page I found with a lot of information and linke to more information about orbs: http://www.psychics.co.uk/orbs/index.html
(See Pics in the Blog Pics Gallery @ www.facebook.com/hughlehane)

This is a cool picture of Rain orbs with tails taken that I found on Wikipedia.

SPECIAL THANKS:

I singled out just some of the Fresno characters of the Hugh Nation in part one of this blog. But I want to take this opportunity now to thank EVERYONE who came out to the shows this weekend. It is together that we all make these Hugh nights so much fun. I truly appreciate your amazing enthusiasm, respect and support.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

1. Any theories on what Katie really meant by her fork nose gesture to me?

2. Can you suggest any other socially useful gestures you could make with a fork?

3. Was it fate or coincidence that led to the death of Mrs Johanna Ganthaler?

4. What do you think about the haunting of the Hugh Nation? Is this bullshit or could there be something to it? (Details, people, details!)

5. Have you personally had any paranormal experiences? Please share.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. I had some incredible kick arse shows this weekend and I’ve got so many fun stories to share that I think I’m going to have to put this blog in two parts. So get ready to be entertained. Are you sitting comfortably? Ok, then let us begin. Read on....

A MOMENT FOR SAUM

Before I start this weeks blog and get to all the usual fun I want to briefly take a moment to talk about something serious. I need your help, your collective good will. Last week one of my friends in Tucson, Saum Poorsaleh, had a terrible tragedy in his family. His mom suddenly passed away.

Saum has been a great supporter of mine and a proud member of the Hugh Nation. So I want to ask you fellow Hugh Nation members across the U.S. and the world to please take a moment to say a prayer, send good energy, whatever you do in the direction of my friend Saum and his family in Tucson. Thank you.

This is Saum (on the right in the blue shirt) proudly showing his Hugh Nation pride.

(See pic in my Facebook 'Blog Pics' album)

THE EMBERS ARE BEING STOKED

Last weekend was possibly one of the most kick arse weekends I have ever had, period, since I started playing shows in the U.S. Its not that I haven’t had great shows like this before but what made this weekend different was that this time you could really get a sense of how the ‘Hugh Nation’ is growing and that if it keeps going like this that we are only a few months away from standing room only at these shows.

Recently I was trying to explain to a friend of mine, Danny White, what the crazy ‘Hugh Nation’ shows are like. Danny has only seen me play at local Orange County shows which are for the most part low key affairs so I wouldn‘t blame him if he thought I was telling tall stories. Its hard to describe...ultimately experiencing is believing.

After I finished my crazy Hugh Nation night description Danny said...

“Its sounds like the embers are there just ready to be stoked”.

He’s right...great analogy...that is exactly what’s happening. There's a fire being lit.

CHARACTERS OF THE HUGH NATION: IN PICTURES AND WORDS

As this weeks blog continues I will be sharing pictures with you which to me really capture some of the tremendous energy that is building at my shows (Special thanks to Tami Herman for taking all the pics).

This Hugh Nation truly is a living breathing thing and to demonstrate this and for your entertainment I’m now going to take you through just some of the characters of the Fresno chapter of the Hugh nation and describe their crucial role in this weekends kick arse shows.

‘IN CHARGE’ JENNY: KICKING ASS AND TAKING E-MAIL ADDRESSES

Jenny volunteers her time to help me sell CD’s and collect e-mail addresses at my shows which I REALLY appreciate. She is a such a character I now call her ‘In charge’ Jenny because when I ask her to do something she doesn’t mess around. I just say “Yes boss” and get out of her way! When Jenny has a task she really takes charge, kicks ass and takes names... or in this case e-mail addresses! (see below)

(See pic in my Facebook 'Blog Pics' album)

This weekend Jenny collected a s**t load of new e-mail addresses for me. A critical thing because just one e-mail address can ultimately mean four or five new converts to the Hugh Nation experience! One enthusiastic person signing up is always going to bring some friends. Thanks Jenny you f**king rock.

TASHA: THE NEWBIE!

Tasha was a brand new person to the Hugh Nation experience this weekend. My friend Marty and I met Tasha at a Jack in the box drive thru after a show a few months back! Sounds hilarious doesn’t it? Like the networking never stops. But its true! She was extraordinarily enthusiastic and up beat for a drive thru employee. And we were having great fun with her through the drive through ordering speaker even before we actually met her at the window.

She saw the guitar cases in the back of the car and we told her about the Hugh Nation show. She was very interested in going so I gave her my card and told her to sign up to my e-mail list. She did and a few weeks later there she was at the show (after taking the night off work) ready to experience the Hugh Nation in full force!

Tasha had listened to my music online at my website www.hughmusic.com and her favorite song was my original ‘Goodbye’. After the show she bought the CD that the song ‘Goodbye’ is on (‘Never Been Before’) and Tasha left totally converted saying she’ll be back to every show! And so the Nation grows....

LIZ & BROOKE: AHEAD OF THEIR TIME

Now from brand new to old school, back in the day, Hugh fans. Liz and Brooke used to come and see me play when I first started doing shows in Fresno. Back then I had just started playing in Moynihan’s Irish pub and Liz and Brooke were the only ones who used to clap when I finished a song! Hard to believe when you listen to my 'live' CD ('Got Irish?') which was recorded at Moynihan's!

They had a falling out with someone in the bar (how Irish is that?) and unfortunately I hadn’t seen them for over two years. However I got back in touch with them recently and they came down to the show on Saturday night. Wow did they get to see a HUGE change in audience reaction to me! Liz and Brooke were definitely ahead of their time.

Here is the Fresno chapter of the Hugh Nation in full flight.

SHANNON CONFRONTS HER INNER STALKER??

A few months back I had a quiz in my blog. The prize for the first fully correct answered quiz was a Hugh Nation T-Shirt. The winner of this quiz was Shannon in Fresno. Shannon has been in my blogs many times before.. you may remember her as one of my ‘polygamist brides’. Anyway I finally got to give Shannon her prize on Saturday (see below).

(See pic in my Facebook 'Blog Pics' album)

I am pointing at the shirt...I swear! The really funny part about me giving Shannon her prize though was that I gave it to her in the UPS bag it arrived in. Why is that funny? Well shortly after I gave Shannon her prize she came back up to me on stage and quietly gave me back the UPS packaging. “Why are you giving me that back?” I asked confused. And she whispered...

"Your home address is on the envelope and I'm afraid that If I don't give it back to you I might show up someday on your doorstep...and that wouldn't be cool".

I was stunned... all I could do was laugh! Shannon was bravely confronting her inner stalker ;) This was not the first time I have been stunned by Shannon's forthrightness though. She did offer to marry me the first time we met! As for her confronting her inner stalker I have witnesses... Sonic boom...I mean Katie H. was sitting near the front of the stage and was a first hand witness.

THE SARANATOR LEADS THE CHARGE!

Sarah, the Sarahnator really gets into the Hugh Nation shows as you can see below...

(See pic in my Facebook 'Blog Pics' album)

Here she is rockin' (on top of two chairs) as the Hugh Nation blows the roof off of Sequoia Brewing, Champlain. I've talked about Sarah before in my blogs she is incredible. Mother of 5, marathon runner, full time employee and is continuing her college education. Wow! she is just a dynamo of energy! I love this picture, it speaks a thousand words Sarah's enthusiasm for the Nation is just priceless.

MULTI CULTURAL HUGH SHOW MOMENT: EN ESPANOL!

You never know whats gonna happen at a Hugh Nation show. On Saturday I saw Rico in the crowd and so I announced "Alright now... tonights show is about to get multicultural...we are now going... en espanol!" and so I invited Rico up and we rocked the hell out of La Bamba. The photo below was taken mid song when I started jamming some mexican riff on the guitar and Rico started howling a Mexican cat call!!

(See pic in my Facebook 'Blog Pics' album)

“OKAY EVERYBODY HUG SOMEONE!”

Later on Satuirday night I'm playing Snow Patrol's 'Chasing Cars' and being the crazy night it was I decided to demand the following from the audience...

"Okay...everybody hug someone". What?... No, I was not smoking weed.

The funny thing is most people did!....then suddenly my friend Joey came up on stage and so I don't feel left out he gave me a hug too (see pic below). With all the recent talk of my hair and seeking out the perfect hair product in recent blogs I used this opportunity to answer those have begun to question my sexual orientation! and I said

"You see its ok...I'm comfortable with my sexuality...and my hair gel!".

(See pic in my Facebook 'Blog Pics' album)

HEADS UP: LIVE D.V.D.

I am planning to record a live DVD @ Sequoia Brewing Co.(Champlain) in Fresno in a few months. I am only in the early planning stages but I have someone professional who is going to do it (possibly over two nights?). Part of my reason to do this is to capture the energy of my live shows on video Why? because right now I have no videos of myself online and also because you can tell someone about a crazy Hugh Nation show but at the end of the day as I 've said above.. experiencing is believing!

FINALLY... QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

1. Whats your favorite story about a Hugh Nation show. Either from the blog or actually personally experienced?

2. Which of the many colorful characters from my blog would you like to have a beer with and why?

3. What songs would you like to be included in the 'live' DVD?

Have a great week my friends!

(Part 2 of this blog coming soon!)

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. I've got questions for you at the end so watch the details people! Read on....

HYPOCRITICAL GRUMPY SHITS!

I always tip waitresses, bar people wherever I go because I see firsthand the bullshit they have to put up with. I saw a great example of this bullshit over the weekend.

As I am loading my gear into the venue on Saturday night I see a grumpy older looking couple going in. How did I know they were grumpy? well apart from their miserable spoilt looking faces they were also looking at me suspiciously. Well I am a musician you know.... ha ha Mr. long hair, drugs and debauchery!

When they got their food I was now setting up inside, not far from where the grumpy couple were sitting. The girl who was serving them was very friendly and polite but the grumps didn’t have their food 2 minutes and they had already called the friendly waitress back to their table.

“Its cold” the grumpy lady simply said to the waitress looking at her meal in distain. “Mine too” said the grumpy husband.

The waitress remained friendly in spite of the grumps bad attitude, she apologized picked up their plates and returned the meal. The grumps weren’t finished ranting though because when the waitress returned the grumps then proceeded to question her on the arrangement of the salad!!!

“How can you put the Guacamole by the lettuce? I mean that doesn’t make any sense” said the grumpy old lady condescendingly.

Ok hold on a minute....first the waitress didn’t make the food, second who does grumpy granny think she is f**king Rachel Ray? and third I thought the issue was the food was cold not the arrangement of the salad ingredients?!?

The waitress just took it on the chin and bit her tongue. I could tell she was pissed off but she just listened and when they finished ranting she walked away.

A few minutes later the grumps asked for the check, and strangely two boxes?

What?.. I thought the food was cold? and badly arranged? c'mon motherf**kers Rachel Ray won't sleep tonight!! yet they are taking the food home?? does that make any sense? What a pair of hypocritical grumpy shits.

I ask you why go out in public if you are going to be like that?

THREE KICK ASS MOVIES

I’ve seen a couple of kick ass movies over the past few weeks that I wanted to talk about. If you haven't seen them don't worry there's no spoilers.

1. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.

I am a huge fan of the Underworld movie series as most of you know. Kate Beckingsale (Celine) and her glocks get me every time (See previous blog: Girls with guns: My confession) but I digress.

Beckingsale wasn’t in this prequel of the Underworld series which you would think would be a big disadvantage, especially since her character carried the other two movies but surprisingly this prequel works well without her.

Great characters from the first Underworld movie like, Lucien played by Michael Sheen (who was Prime Minister Tony Blair in ‘The Queen’ and Frost in ‘Frost Nixon’) and Victor played by Bill Nighy (Crazy singer in ‘Love Actually’ and the Zombie Stepfather in ‘Shaun of the Dead’) are back and carry this movie well. Both are at their gothic Shakespearian best.

2. Taken.

Liam Neeson takes no prisoners in his quest to find his kidnapped teenage daughter in this tense thriller. I don’t know how many times I practically jumped out of my chair and said “F**k!” every time Neeson’s character would do something totally unexpected and violent. I loved the fact that Neeson's character was so bad ass and so magnificently un politically correct.

Without giving anything away lets just say pondering about whether waterboarding is torture or not how this character thinks! In the end, for me, it all wrapped up a little too neat and tidy but otherwise this movie rocked.

3. Valkyrie

In most world war 2 movies there is rarely any mention of the fact that not all Germans followed Hitler blindly. In fact many Germans recognized his insanity and tried to stop him. Valkyrie tells the story of the last of fifteen recorded assassination attempts on Hitler. There was most likely many more that were un recorded.

Valkyrie is not really an action movie its more of an old school thriller, almost Hitchcock like. It has many great character actors that carry an intricate plot. What it lacks in action though it makes up for in tension. In fact it is a movie utterly wrought with tension. In my opinion this sensitive subject matter was handled very well By Mr Cruise and co.

SOME STAR WARS FANS IN CHICAGO DON'T LOVE OBAMA!?!

If you're too sensitive for political jokes I suggest you skip this brief paragraph.

A large march in Chicago last week protesting President Obamas economic policies mysteriously got no coverage in the so called 'mainstream media'. But rather than talk about that I'll just let you read some of the signs from that same march below.

(See pic in my Facebook 'Blog Pics' album)

Somehow I can't imagine Obama supporter George Lucas being too happy about the 'Debt Star' sign. Wasn't it Obi Wan who said "Only the Sith believe in absolutes"???

WE ARE THE RESISTANCE!

The TV show ‘Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles’ was recently cancelled after only two seasons. Grrr arrgh. Apparently the Nielsen ratings weren't high enough. With all the nerds watching episodes on Hulu i-tunes and from other sources the Neilsen results were most likely 'bogus' (God I've been in California too long).

It was my favorite current show on TV. It was more like they were making mini movies every week than TV episodes. Admittedly the fact that most weeks you’d get to see Summer Glau kicking and blowing the shit out of everything made it a no brainer for me to like!

I am telling you about this because apparently now there is a campaign that has been started by fans of the show to try and bring it back. These campaigns are not fruitless remember how the fans of the TV show Firefly loudly campaigned about that show being taken off the air. Their campaign ultimately brought about the movie Serenity.

So what are you waiting for? NERDS UNITE!

We are the resistance! Follow the link below and sign the petition to bring back Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles.

www.savethescc.com
WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP?

A few weeks back I reported to you how my son Daniel (4) after an earthquake threatened the ground with a toy Star Wars clone trooper rifle! Well this past weekend Daniel had another fun moment I’m going to share with you. He said and I quote...

"When I grow up I'm not going to live with you guys anymore. I'm going to be a fireman. I want to save people. If there’s a fire in your house I'll put water on it".

Wow...isn’t it amazing what come out of the mouths of children!

I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid. Its funny how things just strike you a certain way when you are young. I was fascinated with stars and space. Daniel obviously with fire and water! Its the fact though that he wants to, as he put it, “save people” and save us if our house was on fire that I think is a touching thing.

(Here's my son Daniel this time with his stormtrooper rifle. Another Star Wars gun? I swear hes never been to an NRA meeting....yet! ha ha)

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

1. Tell me about the worst complaining restaurant customers you’ve ever seen?

2. Have you seen Rise Of The Lycans, Taken or Valkyrie? If so what did you think?

3. Whats the funniest homemade sign you've ever seen?

4. Do you think Terminator SCC campaign has any hope of success? Explain.

5. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Have a great week my friends!

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. From golf course escorts to thoughts of sexy covert terminator bedtime stories. Yeah I should warn you this week is a little twisted (just how you like it!). I've got questions for you again at the end of the blog so pay attention to the details peeps. Alright, are you ready? Read on....

CAN YOU CLEAN MY BALLS PLEASE?

When a friend of mine told me over the weekend about how you can hire a attractive female caddy or ‘Par mate’ (as they are called) in Las Vegas to escort you around a golf course I thought he was kidding me. But then I thought... well it is Las Vegas. Then my friend showed me the ‘Par mate’ webpage on their phone.

Here is what the website reads....

Gorgeous Par Mates - Now More of What You Come to Vegas For!

Beautiful Women, Excitement & Golf...

Par Mates are extremely attractive and outgoing young ladies / girl caddies that will keep the golfers company during their round and help with course arrangements like orientation, introduction to course personnel, call in food and beverage orders, maintaining scorecards, shopping assistance in the golf shop and other services designed to replicate the five-star assistance provided by major hotel staff.

They’ll even repair divots, fix ball marks, CLEAN BALLS, clean clubs and help with yardage, ball flight and obstacles. Additionally they will serve as your personal hostesses during the round to eliminate any hassles or drudgeries and make the experience more pleasant, enjoyable and fun.

Cost: $225 per caddy
Booking Requirements: 72 hours in advance of your tee time

Help with ‘Orientation’, ‘Five star assistance’, they will ‘eliminate any hassles or drudgeries’ making ‘the experience’ more ‘pleasant, enjoyable and fun’!!

What?.....you have got to be f**king kidding me????

You see you actually get to pick whatever ’Par mate’ you like and they provide over 25 girls that you can choose from. Heres one of the 'Par mate's Stefanie below....

(See pic in my Facebook page 'Blog Pics' album)

F**k me... is this a golf course or an escort service?

Here’s a link to the website below. Once this page opens a video loads and up pops ‘Par mate’ Brittany who’ll tell you what the ‘Par mates’ do. Seeing is believing.

http://www.waltersgolf.com/par-mates-caddy-program.asp
HYPERMAN VS THE GYPSY WOMAN

I witnessed a friendly brawl, handbags at ten paces, a friendly pillow fight for want of a better expression between two friends of mine a few weeks back and I’ve been struggling as to how to tell this tale without embarrassing either of my friends involved.

So here I am now going to tell the tale and how exactly am I going to avoid their embarrassment? Well its not just by changing their names but also by being vague about the...ahem.. ‘arena’ and the circumstances of their friendly fisticuffs.

So the two people involved are Hyperman! a man with the energy of a child but with a kind of twisted darkside and then there's Gypsy woman, a soft spoken easy going soul who has a serious sting in the tail!

So, the fight started when Hyperman tricked Gypsy woman and knocked her over he then proceeded to jump on top of her and play fight with her

Gypsy womans response to Hyperman lying on top of her was...

“Hyperman...your balls are on my knee!”

Hyperman’s bouncy response was “Then you know not to move it!(her knee)”.

At this point I didn’t know where to look or what to do! Should I run out to my car and drive away as quickly as posible or should I just rock backward and forward and count puppies and bunnies bouncing in a field of butterflies and rainbows?

But before I could decide Hyperman released his balls from the threat of Gypsy womans retribution grabbed a pillow and quickly put it on Gypsy womans face!!

“Hyperman what are you doing?” I said... not believing my eyes. But just when Hyperman’s dark twisted side was revealed so too was the Gypsy womans!

“Owww that hurt” said Hyperman as he sat up releasing Gypsy woman from his suffocation by pillow!! (freak!). He then looked at his cursed wound and nursed where Gypsy woman had scratched the skin right off his arm with her nails!

That’s what you get when you try to suffocate a Gypsy woman. But the question is has Hyperman learnt his lesson? Maybe, maybe not. One thing is for sure though the next time Hyperman just even thinks about fighting her he’ll feel that sting in his arm (the cursed scrape) and he’ll think twice.

HAVE I FINALLY UNCOVERED THE REAL REASON WHY ITS SO HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE TO GET INTO THE CONCEPT OF AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION?

Ok let me tell you a strange story about what happened at a show of mine last week in my neck of the woods, Orange County, CA. So I get the crowd clapping along with an Irish song (I’ll Tell Me Ma) and when I finish the song (which was about 3 minutes long) I was amazed to see that all the people at the table closest to the stage were visibly physically exhausted after clapping along for one song!

I was flabbergasted...I mean all the people at this table were not old codgers. They were in their late thirties, early forties. You’d swear I had them doing cardio kick boxing or something!! I thought to myself...shit...is this the real reason some people won’t get into that dreaded concept of audience participation.... because they are so f**king lazy and out of shape? Fear of a heart attack!!?

I ask you... tell me it ain't so?

SKYNET READING MY BLOG!!

A friend of mine from Fresno, George, came down to see me play at a local show in Orange County this weekend and he was telling me how he catches up on my blogs while he's driving. “How do you do that?” I asked.

Well George explained that he has a fancy dictaphone recorder and in conjunction with a program on his laptop he records meetings at his work. This dictaphone program then types up everything that was said at the meeting. This program is also later able to read aloud these notes of the meetings so George can listen to them as he drives. He also uses this program to listen to my blog. He pulls up the blog on his laptop and activates the program to read it aloud. Apparently the voice that reads my blog is not robotic at all but is in fact the voice of a seductive woman!

Well with me being a fan of the TV show Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles (which just got cancelled grrr arrrgh) and with the movie Terminator: Salvation now just out this weekend it got me thinking... (please go with me here)

Imagine in the lead up to becoming self aware and blowing up mankind how would ‘Skynet’ have used my blog to help its evil plans?

For example Skynet could use a mesmerizing terminator in sheeps clothing ie: Summer Glau, star of Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, Firefly and Serenity (see pic below) to read my blog. This would lead all those listening to Glau's soothing voice to be initially lulled into a false 'sense of security' only then to be brainwashed by covertly subliminal pro machine propaganda?

Woah what a twisted way to keep the general population in favor of machines??

Ok so maybe I’ve been watching too much sci fi.

What I can say for certain though is that I think its really cool the way George listens to my blog. That Summer Glau is hot, regardless of being a machine (oh I’m gonna get shit for saying that) and I can’t wait to see the new terminator movie...damn I want to see f**king Skynet burn!!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

1. What's your view on the 'Par mates' concept?

2. Have you ever had a run in with a Gypsy woman? What happened?

3. What do you think is the real reason why some people refuse to go with the concept of audience participation?

4. Can you describe Summer Glau in three words?

5. Have you seen Terminator: Salvation? What did you think? (No spoilers please)

Please post your answers in the comments after the blog.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This weekend I was in Tucson where sadly the Hugh Nation was bidding farewell to our friend Steph. Then I came back to California just in time for a 5.0 earthquake! Its been an emotional rollercoaster weekend! By the way lookout at the end of todays blog because I have a quiz for you to see how well you know me (the highest score wins a Hugh T-shirt). Read on....

DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?

I was on break during a show this weekend sitting with a group of my friends talking when I noticed that one girl in the group who I’ve met just once before was trying very hard to get my attention. For the purpose of this story I’m going to call her ‘Legs’.


Finally with a pause in the group conversation legs blurted out “So where in Ireland are you from?”. I told her I was born in Limerick and raised in Dublin and then she talked about her past trip to Ireland and another trip she’s taking there in a few weeks.

Its a common conversation I have when I meet people around the Southwest. While we were talking our conversation got distracted though by someone else’s interjection (as is liable to happen in group conversation) and this irritated legs who was determined to return to our conversation about Ireland.

Legs was sitting on the outside of a booth that was raised a step up from where I was sitting. The table (booth) she was sitting at had a table cloth on it that fell halfway to the floor but now at the same moment that she restarted our conversation she looked straight at me, took her left hand and swept the table cloth back under the table exposing her crossed bare legs. I should stop here to say that 'legs' was wearing a denim mini skirt that (now she was sitting) looked more like the end of a long t-shirt than a skirt!

Was this move intentional or not I'll let you decide but in my mind I was like.. wow.... did she really just do that? WTF?? I obviously must have had a look of disbelief on my face because legs appeared to be looking at me now smiling as if to say...

‘Do I have your attention now?’.

FAREWELL TO STEPH

My Irish friend in Tucson Stephanie Burns is someone that I have mentioned in some of my blogs in the past. Stephanie moved to Tucson two and a half years ago from her hometown of Belfast in the North of Ireland. I’ve shown you pictures of Steph in my blogs done up in full zombie makeup and in a Governor Sarah Palin outfit. This is why I christened her Tucson’s Mistress of disguise! Here are two more of her many disguises below. First its gangsta Steph (@ a Wu Tang Clan concert)

and then white trash Steph...(@ a white trash party!)

(See pics in my Facebook page 'Blog pics' album)

As you can see Steph is quite a character isn‘t she? I told her I think she’s a closet comedienne and that with all her numerous disguises she should be on Saturday night live or something. Anyway so why I am talking about Steph again today? First of all because unfortunately she is going home to Ireland this week (more on that in a minute) and second because on Saturday afternoon in a music store in Tucson my friend David McGuiggan and I got to see a whole new side to Stephanie Burns.

You see a while back I learned that Steph had a dream to play the drums! So with it being her last weekend in Tucson I suggested we’d take her to a music store so she could ‘get her drum on’... so to speak.

When Stephanie first sat down behind the drum kit she really seemed like a natural and with minimal instruction from me (I can play drums too) she was immediately playing a beat! This was Steph's first time ever to sit behind a drum kit though so she wasn’t quite hitting the drums as hard as she really wanted to. A few minutes later though Steph tried out an electronic drum kit and that’s when she really let loose.

Dave recorded it all on video, it was unbelieveable. Imagine ‘animal’ from the Muppets mixed with the enthusiasm of a little kid and the aggression of a Celtic warrior! Yeah that was Steph ‘sticks’ Burns on the drums. She was kicking ass and taking names.

(See pics in my Facebook page 'Blog pics' album)

Later on Saturday night Steph had her farewell party and while we did have fun It was very sad to see her go. I feel fortunate to have met Steph she is a wonderful human being, her get up and go attitude is nothing short of inspirational to everyone who knows her.

(See pics in my Facebook page 'Blog pics' album)

For those of you who have never met Steph, I think this pic above taken in Donegal, Ireland perfectly captures Stephs energy and spirit.

THE 5.0 EARTHQUAKE AND MY VIGILANTE SON

Only a few hours after I returned from Tucson this weekend my family and I experienced our strongest earthquake yet. It was a 5.0 magnitude quake. We’ve experienced vertical wave like quakes just above 4.0 a few times before but this quake was a horizontal shaker. The whole apartment was shaking from side to side.

As soon as the shaking started my wife and I grabbed the kids and we stood under the strongest door frame in our apartment we huddled and rode it out. It only lasted about 20 seconds. The kids were spooked by this one though, there was definitely an edge of menace in the way this quake rumbled and moved.

A few minutes after the quake my son Daniel (4) decided that some action needed to be taken! So while I was checking the local news channel on TV and my wife was checking the internet (making sure that 5.0 was not a preview of a bigger quake to come) Daniel went and found his older brother Matthew’s toy Star Wars clone trooper rifle he walked to the front door and started opening it. Hearing the door open I turned around and said..

“Hey Daniel what are you doing?”.

Daniel just ignored me because now he was a ‘man (kid) on a mission’!! He swung the front door open and stuck his toy rifle outside threateningly! He then pointed the rifle down towards the ground and to no one in particular said...

“I’m gonna shoot the shaking if it comes back again”.

Wow...where did that come from? It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen him do. His little face was so serious, the quake had really given him a fright but that was then...and now.... NOW... he was ready to kick some earthquake butt!

Pic: My kids halloween 08, Daniel (Hulk) Matthew (Clone Trooper).

(See pics in my Facebook page 'Blog pics' album)


Hell yeah my boys like to kick butt!


QUOTES FROM TUCSON:


1. A male friend describes lustfully our female friends new hair cut right in front of her... “Oh man you just want to grab a hold of it and...” he said gesturing behind her head with his hand in an aggressive way. My jaw dropped.... I was speechless. I am sorry but some American guys have absolutely zero subtlety!


2. Last week some drug companies announced they would be giving out free drugs to anyone who had recently lost their job. An insurance salesman friend of my mine started getting phone calls about this and one of the customers who called him asked...

“So hey does my insurance cover my Viagra?”.

My friends reply was simple and to the point...

“No, sorry, its not covered...but that’s ok....all you need is a good woman!”.

3. The philosophy of an anonymous mans man: “Every morning when I get up I don’t become the bitch of the day... I make the day my bitch!”.

4. Stephanie’s reaction to me most likely not coming back to play in the venue I was playing at, was and I quote “F**king bullshit”. Thanks for the support Steph I will really miss you.

Me & Steph in the Dub. The Irish sure love those curry chips!

NOW FINALLY SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU: SO HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME?

1) WHAT IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE EVER?

a) The Empire Strikes Back
b) Serenity
c) Ben Hur
d) Signs
e) Underworld

2) WHO IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE (SOCCER) PLAYER?

a) Christiano Ronaldo
b) Cesc Fabergas
c) Ian Wright
d) David Beckham
e) Dennis Bergkamp

3) MY FAVORITE SHOW ON TV RIGHT NOW?

a) Millionaire Matchmaker
b) Fringe
c) Terminator Sarah Connor Chronicles
d) CSI Miami
e) The Simpsons

4) AT A PARTY WHAT WOULD I DEFINITELY BE DOING?

a) Talking the face off some poor unfortunate soul
b) Getting shit faced drunk
c) Sulking in the corner
d) Rolling like fiddy cent
e) Reciting poetry

5) RUNNING OUT OF MY BURNING HOUSE, WHAT WOULD I GRAB?

a) Guitar
b) Passport
c) Hair gel
d) My wife and kids!
e) Wallet

6) WHAT AM I AFRAID OF?

a) Cyclons
b) Abduction by nasty aliens
c) Nothing
d) Puppies and bunnies
e) Global warming

7) WHAT DO I LOVE TO DO IN MY SPARE TIME?

a) Gardening
b) Ballet lessons
c) Smoke pot
d) Watch movies
e) Yoga

8) WHO WAS THE BAND THAT GOT ME INTO MUSIC?

a) Duran Duran
b) Thin Lizzy
c) Culture Club
d) The Bee Gees
e) Slayer

9) MY FAVORITE CHILDHOOD GAME?

a) Connect 4
b) Monopoly
c) Mouse trap
d) Twister
e) Chess

10) ARMED WITH GLOCKS AND FACING ALIEN INVADERS I WOULD..

a) negotiate a truce
b) pee my pants
c) barter my kids for my life
d) Blow the motherf**kers to kingdom come
e) Scream like a little girl

The top score so far is 70%... can you beat that score?

The first one to 100% (or just the highest score) wins a Hugh Nation T-shirt. Don’t be fooled by the seemingly straight forward questions though.

PLEASE post your answers in the comments after the blog.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This week we are back to the usual humorous blog format so find a comfortable chair and let the journey begin. Lookout for the questions I have for you at the end. Read on...

BAD JOKES, TAMBOURINE JAZZ, AN AXE WIELDER, A POSER , MISS JACQUELYN HYDE AND A RED HIGH HEELED BACKUP DANCER!!!! WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

Ok to start off with this week here’s a recounting of the various characters I encountered at a show two weekends ago in Orange County. (I left this story out last week because of my swine flu blog)

THE JOKER: I should have known by the way that the barman asked this weird looking guy who came in “Are you alright tonight?” that he was going to be trouble. He was an old dude in his sixties very skinny and weathered looking. He looked as if he was either a drunk or homeless...or both? Why was he being served? you might ask. Well whatever his situation was it couldn’t have been that bad because his clothes were relatively clean and he obviously by the way the barman talked to him he had been here before.

I’m calling him the joker because he kept telling really bad jokes and laughing hysterically at himself. For example he announced to everyone “You know why I have hearing aids?...(dramatic pause)... because I got a deaf sentence”. He just went on an on with really cheesy jokes like this and it got old, real fast.

After a while when no one was laughing at his jokes the joker got irritated and started insulting people “Where did you get your fake grey hair?” he asked one guy at the bar. His worst insult though was aimed at me when he said “Can I buy you a drink man?... you’re really good”. I told him thank you and that I didn’t drink when I was playing. His reply was ”So how did you put all that weight on?”(ouch).

Instead of getting mad though I actually burst out laughing! Why? I just couldn’t believe what a nerve this guy had “So...is this how to win friends and influence people?” I asked him. Now the people in the bar started laughing and the joker didn’t like that one bit. Soon afterwards he left. What a freakin whackjob.

TAMBOURINE GEORGE: This guy walks in sits at the bar and places a tambourine on the stool beside him. Sensing that this was yet another bloggable situation I decided to go with it. “So do you want to play along?” I asked him “Sure” he said excitedly.

George didn’t really keep time with the tambourine though he sort of improvised. It was weird...it was what I’d describe as ‘Tambourine jazz’...it wasn’t really that off putting for me playing and believe me watching him so seriously playing the tambourine had a very high entertainment value (E V).

DANNY THE ‘AXE WIELDER’: Danny is my friend and by far the sanest member of this evenings variety show. He got up and played lead guitar on a few songs with me we had fun playing together. Man does he plays a mean solo.

FRONTMAN POSER: After Danny played a few songs with me in walks a very tall man and asks the barman about where some local band he likes is playing. One of the customers said “We don‘t need a band man...we‘ve got Hugh!”. The tall turns his head looks me up and down and says “I’m a singer...can I jam a song with you?”

“No problem” I said “Just don’t tell any jokes” referring to the joker earlier and everyone laughed. This tall guy was all business though no time for joking around...he was very serious and went into ‘frontman mode’ he grabbed the microphone and stand dramatically he spread his legs wide and bent his knees like he was carrying something heavy and he held his head up high waiting for the song to start. We did a Beatles song and in fairness he really could sing... but man....what a poser.

JACQUELYN HYDE: Now this is not a name I’ve made up. This is the name, a pun on Jekyll and Hyde of course, that this girl at the bar had on her business card. This is apparently one of three names she goes by! Which name is her real one and why she feels the need for pseudonyms I’m not sure. She told me she sold Celtic jewelery so we got talking about that. Talking to her I discovered that she designs her own jewelery which she sells it at renaissance fairs and she’s also into roller derby (a former player now a sponsor of a team) www.ocrollergirls.com
Ms Hyde had a habit of blurting out strange things loudly though, I’m not sure why but for example when she was leaving she announced to no one in particular “Ok I’m going home to have sex by myself”...what? who announces stuff like that? Then when she saw the look on my face of ‘what did you just say?’ she simply added “Oh I can do that you know?” like I was born yesterday. But just when I thought things couldn’t get any funkier yet another character walked into the bar...

BACKUP DANCER?: The final character I met was a very upbeat African American girl in her late twenties. She was dressed all in denim and was wearing lipstick red colored high heels. They were really high...maybe six inch heels. She had arrived at the bar with a very conservative looking white guy in his forties. Maybe its just me but something didn’t seem right about this picture and when this red heeled girl came up and asked me “Can I be your backup dancer?” I knew there was definitely something fishy going on!

On reflection I’m wondering what was it about this night? where the f**k did all these characters come from? was there a full moon or something? Well whatever it was, it was one hell of a strange variety show.

MEN IN BLACK MOMENT: MY NERDNESS HAS GONE TOO FAR

Alright back to this past weekend in Fresno. I somehow got into conversation about my hair again with Katie D and Brandon aka ‘Funky B’(see previous blog ‘The first ever unofficial Hugh roast’). So catching myself getting way too into this queer eye for the straight guy conversation... AGAIN...for the second time in two weeks I decided to try and make it all go away. Especially because now after a second dose of my hair conversation Brandon was really starting to get very suspicious about my sexual orientation. There was even talk of me taking a gay test!

So I went and got my little mini desk light that I use on stage, I waved my hands up and down like I was a hypnotist and said “You won’t remember anything!” and flashed the light in their faces just like they do with the 'Neuralizer' memory wipe in the movie ‘Men In Black’.

Right now as I type I can’t believe that this actually happened...that I actually did that!!....God I am a sad nerdy bastard.

DUMBASS DUI

After the show on Friday night in Fresno as I was putting my gear into my car with the help of Marty, Brandon and Katie D. we all witnessed a DUI stop go down.

We watched as a girl backed into a signpost without her headlights on just across the street from where my car was parked. At the exact moment she hit the signpost a police car was driving by and stopped, talk about bad timing for her. The cops immediately put on their lights and pulled her over right behind where my car was parked. Suddenly two more cop cars appeared and we had front row seats for what happened next.

So first of all the police officer asked the driver to exit her car and he very politely guided her through a series of field sobriety tests. We could see that she was failing at them all miserably. She was drunk as f**k. He asked her to walk in a straight line from a certain point on the sidewalk and she started at least a foot off where he wanted her to. So after doing these preliminary tests the police officer then politely told her that she would now have to choose between a breathalyzer or a blood test. Her brazen reply was....“I’m not taking no test, I know my rights” she said.

Boom!... there goes her license immediately suspended for a year. (Unless her court case finds her not guilty of course...pah...unlikely). Although I have to say in fairness she was so drunk that she was probably better off taking her chances. Finally the police officer put her in the police car and called for a tow truck for her car. As Marty says (he works in the Fresno court) the best way to avoid a DUI is simply “Don’t drink and drive” sounds so simple doesn’t it? but unfortunately it doesn’t stop dumbass DUI’s happening like the one we saw.

WATER PISTOL TOUGH LOVE

My friend Marty (who kindly puts me up every time I’m in Fresno) just got a new dog. He bought the dog from a shelter (kudos to him) and the dogs name is Ulysses. I wonder how Irish writer James Joyce would feel about a dog being named after his famous book? Ha ha I think its priceless.

Well on Saturday afternoon in order to correct Ulysses when he was misbehaving Marty was using a small water pistol to administer tough love. It seemed to be working. Then Marty’s daughter Morgan starting acting up and when I saw Marty still had the water pistol in his hand I saw this look in his eyes... I was thinking to myself...no way he wouldn‘t do that....would he?....and then he did! I couldn’t believe it. To my amazement Morgan took his water pistol shot in good fun and promptly snapped her out of her misbehaving!

Water pistol tough love...wow... I’ve got to say... this was another first for me!

NO BANGING ON THE TABLES...WHAT?

The management nicely asked if we could not bang along on the tables with our glasses as the Hugh Nation is known to do during my version of ‘Ring Of Fire’. The reason why? Well apparently some of the tables in the bar had been damaged by the Nation the last time I was in town. I thought this was kind of funny.. ha ha rock n roll! the Hugh Nation guilty of thrashing a restaurant mid show.

A ROLL UP MY SLEEVES NIGHT

Saturday night started reasonably well but after an hour or so things got quite, families had to take their kids home others were out smoking or texting etc and I knew immediately it was going to be one of those roll up your sleeves type of nights.

On nights like this you’ve got to just play through it. Head down, nose to the grindstone so to speak and you keep going and wait for your moment to strike! Sure enough within 30 minutes the place started to fill up again and as more members of the Hugh Nation arrived I decided to now move things up a gear, seize the moment, and turn the night around.

“Where I come from...in Ireland... we like to have fun on a Saturday night....is it the same here in the United States?” I asked the crowd being a total smartarse.

“Yeah” some of the people shouted back.

“Well I’m now going to see if that’s true” I said calling their national pride bluff!

“Alright then...this next song needs some audience participation...”

Now I raised the tone of my voice and building up towards a crescendo I said “So if you’re really into having a good time on a Sat night. I want to see every hand in this place up and clapping RIGHT NOW....C’MON!!”

And I started the song ‘I’ll Tell Me Ma’.

All the way through I pushed and pushed the audience like I was supercharging the room with energy. “C’MON I want to see every hand in this place up and clapping” I was like a drill Sergeant on crack! pushing, pushing the crowd harder.

When the song ended it was like someone had picked up all the negative energy in the room and literally dumped it out in the parking lot. The difference between the energy in the venue before and after that song was incredible.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I have super powers!... but getting things supercharged like that is definitely a cool thing to be able to do.

THE NEW STAR TREK MOVIE (NERDS RELAX.....NO SPOILERS)

I’m gonna keep this simple. Go see it now. It f**king kicks ass. Star trek fans will dig it and I believe non ‘Trekkers’ will love it too. It was directed by JJ Abrams the guy who brought us Alias and Lost on TV and the blockbuster movies Mission Impossible 3 and Cloverfield. I’m sure you agree if you’ve seen any of his work (if you haven’t you’ve been living under a rock!) this Abrams guy really knows what he’s doing.

FRESNO QUOTES:

1. “Don’t do me like that!” I said to the crowd when they didn’t applaud so they apologetically gave me a enthusiastic round of applause and someone shouted “I’ll do you any way you want!”.

To my horror I discovered that it was a guy who said this. The mother of this guy later remarked to me “Well at least I didn’t say it!”....

Woah....wow...I mean how do I answer that? If I say yes I’m telling her she’s ugly and if I say no it means that I prefer it was her son said it. I just bit my tongue.

2. I was giving my friend Marty a hard time about his Dad easily winding him up and afterwards I said “Marty, you know I love you?” and he replied....

“You don’t love me... you love my doggie style”. (WTF?)

3. In an attempt to get some lame ass members of the crowd involved in the fun I said.. “C’mon people shake yourselves off, put your hands together and stop looking at me like I have ten heads”.

Then a guy in the audience shouted up “Or three thumbs” and gave me the two thumbs up?? I looked at him confused as if to say ‘What are you talking about?’ and suddenly I noticed one of his thumbs was actually split in two!... I swear to God...he actually had three thumbs!!.....every time I think I’ve seen it all, wow, something even crazier just pops out of the rabbit hat.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

1. Tell me about the craziest character you've ever met in a bar?

2. Has your nerdness ever gone too far...in public?

3. What would you do with a Men In Black 'Neuralyzer'? (be tasteful people)

4. Have you seen the new Star Trek movie? If so what did you think?

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This week because of all the swine flu hysteria going on I’m going to do a different type of blog. I’m going to share information with you that I have collected about the swine flu virus from a variety of sources, information you most likely won’t have heard discussed on any ‘mainstream media’. I hope by sharing with you and then by encouraging you to answer questions I have for you at the end of the blog about swine flu I hope we all might end up better informed about what’s going on, on the ground, so to speak. Read on....



NO ‘FAIR PLAY’?



In the words of Benjamin Franklin......

"When men differ, both sides ought equally be heard by the public, for when truth and error have fair play, the former is always an overmatch for the latter".

I use this quote because there is an important issue in this swine flu discussion that is not being heard by the public. It is an issue that is not as Franklin puts it in ‘fair play’ for us all to judge freely. However before I get to this possible ‘smoking gun’ issue I want to cover some general topics about the swine flu that keep coming up.

WHERE WAS THE CONTAINMENT?

Have you seen the movie ‘Outbreak’ about the deadly monkey virus? It starred Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo and Morgan Freeman. Anyway, in the movie the first thing they did when they found a small American town with multiple monkey virus victims was simply to close it down. The town was quarantined, no one could come in or out, ‘containment’ of the situation I believe is the technical term. It makes sense, right? You stop the spread of the virus, create time to figure out how to stop it.

So while this swine flu outbreak is no movie (although I bet that as I type they’re probably feverishly working on scripts for Outbreak 2 & 3 in Hollywood) my question is why wasn’t there any effort at containment of the swine flu in Mexico? (If Mexico is really where it started.....some new news reports claim it actually started in California!)

I mean holy shit President Obama went and visited Mexico right in the middle of the outbreak!! And as I am sure you’ve heard one of the dignitaries that President Obama met in Mexico apparently dropped dead of swine flu the day after meeting Obama!?

With the Mexican economy already weak, their tourism industry already affected by the worldwide economic slump and the drug wars on the border I guess I can understand why closing the U.S. Mexican border wasn’t an option.

Especially considering that a collapse of the Mexican economy and/or their government would have huge consequences for America too. This leads me to believe that there was no containment of the swine flu in Mexico simply because as harsh as it sounds economics were deemed more important than public safety.

MIXED MESSAGES: PANDEMIC OR HYPE?

So if economics are indeed seemingly more important that public safety the next question becomes is this really a swine flu ‘pandemic’ or is it all overblown hype?

The media coverage I’ve seen (especially on TV) is crazy. The fair coverage of the facts simply gets lost in a giant clusterf**k of the swine flu TV ratings game. One minute we’re being told not to panic that its all winding down and the next we’re told where anti virals are being distributed what meds we need to rush out and buy and where we can buy surgical masks!

It also seems like our government is trying to have it both ways. We have President Obama rightly telling us not to panic but in the next sentence saying we must brace for a pandemic!? Then Vice President Biden comes out and says that everyone should be calm but that he wouldn’t have his family fly on planes or go on the subway!?

Which is it guys?....make up your mind! I understand TV is driven by ratings but surely it can’t be just politics as usual with a situation like this...can it? I’ll let you decide.

WHY ARE PEOPLE ONLY DYING IN MEXICO?

Then there is yet another 65 thousand dollar question. Why are the only people dying of swine flu in Mexico? Amazingly as I type it still has not been independently confirmed how many Mexicans actually died from swine flu.

The last I heard the Mexican government has actually reduced the ‘suspected’ swine flu death toll to around 100, down from the approximated 200 deaths as earlier reported. The Mexican government is obviously desperately trying to control the information (damage control) so its hard to know what’s fact and fiction.

Last week after the media started asking why people were only dying in Mexico there was a report that a baby in Texas may have died from swine flu, but that still also remains unconfirmed and I haven’t heard anything about that since.

OK SO WHAT EXACTLY IS SWINE FLU?

Ok lets get down to the bottom line here. According to Reuters news agency the swine flu is a ‘genetic mix’ of Avian flu, swine flu and human flu combined. The World Health Organization (WHO) says that the combination of these three flu virus’s together has never appeared in nature before, in humans or animals.

The question then becomes, ok if this new virus didn’t develop naturally in nature (its a ‘genetic mix’) then where did it come from?

THE SMOKING GUN?

This combination of three flu viruses does not exist in nature but it has actually existed for a long time. It was created in a lab. Why? to create flu vaccines.

That’s right you read that correctly... don't believe me? Here is a direct quote from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website.

"Each vaccine contains three influenza viruses-one A (H3N2) virus, one A (H1N1) virus, and one B virus".

The (H1N1) virus is Swine flu as you know and the (H3N2) virus is avian (bird) flu.

Check it out for yourself below, via this link to the CDC website.

http://www.cdc.gov/FLU/protect/keyfacts.htm
VACCINE INGREDIENTS

The theory behind vaccinations is that if you inject a weakened form of a disease into a person they can then develop a immunity to the disease. This is why swine, avian and human flu are all in the flu vaccinations.

The active part of a vaccination is a disease organism which is grown or cultured on a certain medium. Here are some of the culture media for current vaccines:

Lung cells of aborted human fetus, human blood, kidneys of african green monkeys, infected animal cells (from monkey, pig, calf, canary, rabbit, chicken and guinea pig)

Other components ‘helpers’ in vaccines (poisons used to ‘water down’ the live virus’s) include mercury, formaldehyde (embalming fluid), aluminum and ethylene glycol (radiator fluid).

Shocking stuff. Its a lot to take in.

Sources:

Medical economics, Physicians Desk reference (PD) 2008.

The Sanctity Of Human Blood (thirteenth edition), Dr Tim O Shea

www.thedoctorwithin.com
So why do I think vaccinations are possibly the smoking gun here? we must go back to the last swine flu outbreak in 1976 at Fort Dix Maryland for the final piece in this swine flu puzzle.

THE LAST SWINE FLU OUTBREAK

The last 'pandemic' of swine flu was confined to Fort Dix military base Maryland in 1976. 230 soldiers on Fort Dix were infected. One died and 13 developed serious illness. The month after the virus was reported, President Gerald Ford called for vaccinations against swine flu for all Americans. Congress agreed. But the program turned into a mess. Only about one-fifth of the nation's population was immunized. And among those who were, hundreds claimed that the shots led to paralysis.

President Ford getting his swine flu shot. (See Pic in my Facebook 'Blog pics')

Follow the link below to the AP story about the 1976 outbreak:

http://www.philly.com/philly/wires/ap/news/state/new_jersey/20090427_ap_lastbigswinefluoutbreakonfortdixin1976.html
CONCLUSION: FOLLOW THE PORK TO FIND THE PIGS

The information I have presented to you above collectively may all seem hard to believe. First economics appears to have trumped public safety then we are bombarded with strange contradictory messages from the media and our government. Then you put the fact that the new so called swine flu ‘genetic mix’ (swine, avian and human flu combined) which the World Health Organization (WHO) says has never before been seen in nature is actually in existence.... in the flu vaccine. Then you put the swine flu incident in 1976 into the mix. Wow....its mind blowing.

I won’t speculate on conspiracy stories here I will leave you to draw your own conclusions. For me you’ve got to follow the pork...money (or lies)...to find the real pigs here. Those who really benefit from swine flu.

Now, before I ask you questions about swine flu let me briefly give you some information about the so called ‘solutions’ to swine flu that are currently being promoted....

SWINE FLU SOLUTION 1: TAMIFLU

One of the solutions suggested for treatment of swine flu is the drug ‘Tamiflu’. However do you know the side effects of tamiflu? They include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headache, dizziness, fatigue and cough!!! the very symptoms you are trying to avoid. As if that’s not bad enough in 2007 Japan banned tamiflu for children after links were found between tamiflu and suicidal behavior!!

See tamiflu side effects on the official tamiflu website: http://www.tamiflu.com/sideeffects.asp
Link to article about Japan’s ban of tamiflu and subsequent follow up investigation: http://wvgazette.com/News/200904190406
Health News review of tamiflu in 2006:
http://www.healthnewsreview.org/review/review.php?rid=27
SWINE FLU SOLUTION 2: VACCINATION????

After all I’ve mentioned above you may be surprised (or not) to learn that the other solution for swine flu already being promoted in the media is vaccination. You would think the government would have learned from the 1976 outbreak...obviously not.

According to our newly appointed Health and Human services secretary Kathleen Sebelius there will soon be a new swine flu vaccine available. I wonder does secretary Sebelius know that the health and human services secretary back in 1976 lost his job after the Fort Dix swine flu incident and the disastrous side effects from mandatory swine flu vaccination that followed? I sincerely hope history does not repeat itself.

Here is a link to the the reuters story about secretary Sebelius making the vaccination announcement: http://www.reuters.com/article/GCA-SwineFlu/idUSTRE5421MY2009050
FINALLY....SWINE FLU QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

1. What’s the latest news on swine flu in your city/town?

For example: Has there been any changes in your workplace? any confirmed cases where you live or work? How are you, your family & friends reacting to all this?

2. Why do you think there was no containment of the initial outbreak in Mexico?

3. Is the media over blowing this story? and if so why do you think they are?

4. Do you know anyone who has ever had an adverse reaction to vaccinations?

5. Would you take tamiflu or a swine flu vaccine?

I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Please post your answers after the blog. I hope that by us all sharing our thoughts on swine flu we may all be more informed.

Hugh

PS For those of you with a dark sarcastic humor check this out (thanks Peter):

www.doihaveswineflu.org

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This past weekend I was in Fresno I had one of the largest turnouts ever for a show but on the flipside it felt like I got my first ever unofficial roasting! Weirdness, but I can take it. I’ve got questions for you at the end, so pay attention biatches! I look forward to your feedback. Ok, here we go....

VERBALLY BURNED BY A TEENAGER...AGAIN!

Being Irish I’m not used to getting burnt verbally...I’m not joking...believe me you do not want to cross verbal swords with an Irish person...in a no holds barred situation we’ll use hard truth verbally like a weapon of mass mental destruction. Its a side of me you’re most likely not ever going to see...but cross an Irish person, insult or hurt their family or friends and I guarantee you’ll see a side of them that you won’t soon forget.

In spite of this verbal Irish ability for the second time in recent weeks I’ve got burnt verbally by teenagers. I am perplexed... WTF is going on? The last time I got burnt was when I was joking with a teenager at a party in Tucson a few weeks back about being ‘emo’ and she retorted “Well isn’t all music emo - tional?”. Talk about being put in your box...ouch... but this weekend it was worse.

While setting up for my show on Saturday night I was wearing this t-shirt which read....

‘If you are reading this shirt, step one of my evil plan is complete’.

A friend of mines teenage daughter read my shirt and said...

“Ewww that’s kinda creepy!”.

Literally I suppose it is perhaps she missed the irony of someone like me wearing a shirt like this but anyway playing along I turned to her Mom and jokingly said...

“Wow the show hasn’t even started yet and already someone’s called me a creep!” the teen didn’t like that.... “I didn’t say YOU were creepy” she corrected me.

I then went and got the t-shirt I would be changing into for the show later. On it there was an Irish flag and a picture of a famous character from Irish history, Michael Collins. Nothing creepy about that right? so I showed it to the teen and said...

“So ‘princess’ Is this t-shirt more suitable?”.

I really put emphasis on referring to her as ‘princess’ and let me tell you she didn’t like that one little bit. “Oh... it’ll do” she was smiling but I could see she was irritated.

I thought that was the end of it but after I changed into my show t-shirt the teen walks up to me taps me on the shoulder and says

“Hey Hugh.....who’s that good looking guy on your shirt?”(OUCH!).

I had to laugh.... that was a brilliant line, VERY Irish like and what could I say? I had got verbally burned by a teenager... again! Maybe these pesky teenagers are my verbal jousting Achilles heel?

WHY I MUST’VE BEEN A CHICK IN A PAST LIFE

When I’ve talked about my hair to anyone recently (which is rarely) I’m looked at like I’m crazy, deluded or gay!?!...however before I give you a specific example of what I‘m talking about let me give you some background on the subject of...’my hair’.

Alright, so over the past few months I’ve been experimenting with my hair.....now before you throw your eyes up to heaven I understand that some of you right now might be thinking things like...Why? Who cares? Get it cut you f**king hippy! or Get out of the eighties you f**king loser etc etc

Well for those of you non hair haters I’m just trying to find the right look for me. Especially with the blog book and the new CD on the horizon. However I also want the right manageable style while I play. You try and keep your hair looking ok while playing, sweating and rocking in public for four hours! Bet you haters never thought of it like that before did you?

Also my hair is thick and tends to poof out especially with the fan I have on stage to keep me cool. I’ve taken breaks in my shows and been just horrified by my mid show clusterf**k hair show that I see in the restroom mirror before me....I just don’t think the lion king mane is a good look for me. This is why there is that unwritten rock n roll rule that bands have with photographers ‘No pics after the first few songs’.

Anyway back to the point of this story one night in Fresno a while back I saw my friend Katie D’s hair which was all wet looking (she had just washed it!) and I thought it looked particularly cool. This inspired me to make a mental note to try out the wet look in my ongoing hair experimentation.

So fast forward to this past weekend and there I was talking very animatedly to Katie D and I’m telling her I’ve finally found a hair product (“Aussie - Instant freeze’) that I am hoping will allow me to have a manageable wet look. So as Katie D is looking at my latest hair experiment (not entirely convinced) I’m going on and really getting into it about how my hair has this natural wave and how that wave drives me crazy because with the wrong hair product it gives me a very nasty eighties perm look blah blah blah

Then Katie D’s boyfriend (Brandon aka Funky B) walks up and he’s got long straight hair. “You see” I said to Katie D pointing at Brandon’s hair “I wish my hair was straight like Brandon’s” I then turned to Brandon and said “Your hair is awesome”.

Then another Fresno friend of mine Tami walks up to me and repeats back what I just said to Brandon... “Your hair is awesome?” she said.

I suddenly realized I had gotten so into this hair discussion that I had momentarily gone all ‘queer eye for the straight guy’ on Brandon....“God that does sound strange” I said.


Just for the record though, the fact that I get into conversation about my hair doesn’t mean I’m crazy, deluded or gay (you motherf**king biatches and haters). However it definitely implies I may have been a chick in one of my past lives!

EVERYWHERE I GO......THE KIDS WANNA ROCK!

The denim jacket I often wear has had some teasing me about being a ‘Bryan Adams’ wannabe. I guess using one of his song titles for a blog story now won’t do anything to stop that teasing but its a good title for two short tales I have for you now about two rocking kids who performed at my show on Saturday night.

The first kid moment belonged to Emma (The Sarah-nators daughter) she is SOOOO cute. Emma was celebrating her 7th birthday and I invited her up to sing a song. She took the microphone from me and said....

“Hello everybody... I’m going to sing a song called ‘The Rabbit song’... and when I clap my hands... you all clap along...ok?”. The audience collectively went...”Ahhhhhh” (On a cute scale of 1 to 10 it was a 14!)

So Emma sang the song with her Dad (Wendall) holding the microphone so she could show us where to clap...it was priceless. She had the crowd in the palm of her hand. She was brilliant! what an amazingly confident girl she is. Then as Emma walked off the stage to great applause I bowed to her as if to say ‘I am not worthy, I am not worthy’. She represented herself, her family and the Hugh Nation magnificently. Unfortunately I then had to go on after her!

Then a while later we had our second great Hugh Nation kid moment of the night when I was singing a Johnny Cash song. Everyone was banging their glasses on the table like we were one big giant train and in the middle of it all I noticed little cutie 2 year old Morgan with a pepper shaker in her hand! but that wasn’t the amazing thing. Not only was she banging it on the table! but she was banging it along and in time with the song!!

Its great to see that no matter whether you are young or older (and a kid at heart) the spirit of the Hugh Nation seems to know no generational boundaries. I have to agree with Bryan Adams, its true, “Everywhere I go.... the kids wanna rock!”.

BLINDSIDED BY ‘THE BIRD’

“Ok I want to see every single hand in this place up” I shouted as I was finishing an Irish song (The divil is dead) As I looked around I saw one of my Fresno friends Jenny working on her laptop and I said “C’mon you too Jenny”.

But Jenny, who was sitting right up the front, instead of clapping along instead decided (for some reason that I still don’t quite get) to flip me off with a very blatant bird (The raised middle finger. Everyone laughed...I was stunned...I mean I expect that from a zombie, an Englishman, a Hugh Nation hater but from a Hugh Nation member wearing a Hugh Nation shirt???....I felt like Julius Caesar after the assassination.....‘Et tu... Jenny?’.

I was so taken aback that I forgot to tell the audience we were about to clap faster at the end of the song. I managed to recover my composure in time to complete the song but then to make it worse when the song finished I realized it was still before 10pm and I couldn’t use harsh language in retort!! (We can’t use harsh language in this venue before 10pm grrrrr arrrgh).

Jenny wasn’t being serious of course she was just (over) reacting to being called out and she was just giving me a hard time...which is what I do to everyone at my shows every night...so I can’t really complain... can I?

Marty then got up and did his half time show and afterwards when I got up for my second set I did get to vent some of my frustration at my unofficial roasting “Ok now that I can speak freely I just want to say to anyone who has been giving me shit so far tonight... fuck you and the horse you rode in on!” and I flipped two sideways birds.

But that wasn’t the end of it! Jenny’s Mom also an avid Hugh Nation supporter was then caught between a rock and a hard place. You see while I wasn’t looking at Tami’s daughter Jenny in particular when I said my ‘the horse you rode in on’ comment Tami instinctively had to stand up for her daughter and so while I’m sure she wasn’t for Jenny flipping me the bird in the first place she now had to respond to me and so she and Jenny then flipped me the bird again!!

“What is with you Herman’s tonight?” I said over the mic.

This was not to be the last of my unofficial roasting though next one up to take a shot was one of my Fresno polygamist brides!

MY POLYGAMIST BRIDES REUNION!

Some time ago I told you all the story of two foxy redheads who both proposed to me one night in Moynihan’s Pub in Fresno. That maybe hard for some of you to believe but I have multiple witnesses. Were they drunk? NO... do they wear glasses? YES but as I’ve said before f**k you they’re both very cute. Anyway I jokingly referred to them back then as my polygamist brides. Since that ‘night of proposition’ one of my brides moved to Reno and became a blonde!! while the other (a psychology major) went on to become the leader of a gang of Velociraptor human hybrids...believe it or not... as those of you in Fresno know this is all true! Only in Fresno.

Well for the first time in almost a year I saw my polygamist brides reunited at my show on Saturday night. Where one of them proposed to me AGAIN... which admittedly was a little awkward.... especially in front of their boyfriends!! You would have paid money to see me try to explain to the boyfriends how I knew their girls in one sentence where I was trying to cram in polygamy, velociraptor human hybrids and a Hugh Nation t-shirt that I owed one of them.

Speaking of the T-shirt I owe Shannon (the remaining redhead of the polygamist duo) well she won the T-Shirt after winning a quiz in my blog a few months back. However although I’d ordered her shirt via express 3 day mail last Tuesday it didn’t arrive at the UPS office on Saturday morning (10 minutes from my house) until 4 days later...grrrr.

The final nail in this coffin though was that this local UPS office was closed until Monday. I tried to explain all this to Shannon but she just said teasingly “Yeah, yeah... I’ve heard that before”.... Again I was stunned...my unofficial roast was continuing from all angles... I could just hear my new nickname echoing through the ages....‘Hugh..... the unreliable’....

AAAAAH! HELP!

Puppies and bunnies...I am not the victim.

INVASION OF THE BANDITOS!

I’m in the middle of playing ‘The Drunken Sailor’ when I look up to see four guys standing in front of me wearing big ass sombreros (Mexican hats). It was an hilarious sight but after the night of roasting I’d had so far I have to admit the first thought that crossed my mind when I saw them was... ‘Oh fuck what’s coming next?’.

Were these Mexican banditos getting ready to douse the bar in tequila and set the place on fire? now that would’ve been a literal roasting! Or were they about to stick up the bar and take hostages? Thankfully neither they just wanted to have a good time.

So now after my unofficial roast was over having been accused of being creepy, ugly, gay, a wannabe Bryan Adams, obnoxious and unreliable you’d think I’d be mad right?

Nah, I give so many people in my audience shit night after night that I guess it was just my turn to take it this week! Now.... some questions for you...

QUESTIONS FOR MY PEEPS:

1. Can you sum up in three words how you REALLY feel about teenagers?

2. What else about me do you think proves I was a chick in a past life? (Oh God I’m going to regret this question...but it is my unofficial roast after all)

3. What’s your favorite insult to use if someone disses you?

4. How do you feel about polygamist marriage (having multiple wives)? and how would you ladies feel about having multiple husbands?

5. If you saw four guys with sombreros walk into an Irish bar what would you think was going to happen next?

Please post your answers after the blog.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. A lot of you regular readers seem to be enjoying the new questions after the blog feature and so I’ve got more questions after the blog for you today. Read on....

PLASTIC PADDIES

On Friday night two college girls, one a blonde and the other a brunette walk up on stage and they announced to me....

“Hi!... we’re Irish”.

“Really?” I said (like I’d never heard that line before)

“Yes I’m a Mac” said the blonde one....(what?)

“My last name is Mac.. Hugh” she continued.

Now I’ve heard some crap about being Irish before but this was ridiculous. First of all she looked about as Irish as an Eskimo’s arse and second McHugh is a Scottish name! Jesus protect me.

Then these supposedly Irish girls requested a song and they said...

“Dedicate it to us!”

“Ok” I said....“So what are your names?”.

“We’re both Michelle” they replied in unison.... “The two Michelles”.

People in the bar were looking up at these two girls standing beside me now with curiosity wondering why they had gone up there? and what they were saying to me? So as they were walking off the stage I introduced them to everyone.

“Ok this next song is for these two girls here” I said over the mic pointing at them. ”The two Michelles” I continued.

To my surprise the two girls spun around immediately after I introduced them to correct me and they shouted in unison “The two IRISH Michelles”.

“Excuse me”...I said over the microphone “The two... ‘Irish’.... Michelles” (I emphasized the Irish... sarcastically... of course!).
However, oblivious of my sarcasm the two ‘Irish’ girls turned and walked away happy with their 15 seconds of plastic paddy notoriety. Tell me my friends? is there no end to the stupidity that ‘plastic paddies’ will indulge in?

(Wikipedia Definition: Plastic Paddy is a term used to describe non-Irish people who harbor a nostalgic claim of Irishness due to having ‘some degree’ of Irish heritage)

REALITY SHOW AT THE PUB: THE AMAZING STRIPPERS RACE?

There was a notice on the front door of the bar on Friday night stating that anyone entering the premises tonight was agreeing to have themselves be part of a filming shoot. When I read that bullshit I just had to get some more info so when I saw a cameraman standing outside looking like he was waiting for something I went out and asked him what this was all about.

Apparently they were shooting a pilot for a new reality show. A show that is similar in concept to the popular show ‘The Amazing Race’..... except the contestants in this show were all strippers!! In fact he told me these strippers were actually just about to arrive in a stretch limo which was going to pull up outside the pub so the cameraman asked politely if I could move my car, which was parked right outside the bar, so the limo could pull up outside and he could film the strippers arrival.

After moving my car I continued my conversation with the cameraman who told me that the strippers in this show (If it goes beyond the pilot) have to get from town to town not by completing tasks like contestants do on ‘The Amazing Race’ but by making enough money ‘off the cuff’ so to speak, in local bars etc. They can pretty much do anything they want to make money he said except they can’t do porn. That’s nice to know.

There was just one cameraman and another guy who was strutting around like he was important, this guy looked like what you’d imagine your stereotypical uptight arrogant egomaniacal movie director in training would be. His mission in life seemed to be to bark orders at his cameraman as if he was his own personal ‘biatch’. Priceless to watch.

I was just about to start playing when the limo arrived, the director douche bag had the girls get out of the limo and walk into the bar over and over trying to get ‘the right shot’. As you can imagine this scene drew quite a crowd around. The funny thing was though that even though the white Hummer limo was almost three cars long only about 5 or 6 girls got out? One of them definitely looked like a stripper but the others looked like young college girls who’d either gotten into the wrong limo or had never done this kind of thing before. It was all kind of lame. The ‘strippers’ then went around the bar chatting to customers while the cameraman went around filming.

Word of what was going on at the bar spread fast and a guy I know in Tucson practically burst through the front door of the bar. He was practically out of breath and seemed a little flustered. I thought there was something wrong but instead of him telling me to call 911 or announcing to the bar that the zombies were coming (as his dramatic entrance implied he might ) he just simply asked “Where’s the strippers?”.

I guess that question really says a lot doesn’t it. Its unfortunately why its very likely that we’ll be hearing more about this Amazing Stripper Race.

24 HOURS IN JAIL: “NEW BLOODZ”

I had no idea how strict the D.U.I. punishment was in Tucson (although I’m told Phoenix is even stricter) until a friend of mine there told me about his recent D.U.I. experience.
It was a first offense for my friend...lets call him ‘John’. He was only barely above the legal limit for alcohol consumption and not only did he receive a fine and have to do D.U.I. classes but he also had to do 24 hours in jail!! I know D.U.I. is obviously a very serious offense but still this seemed harsh to me especially for a first time offense and for being just barely above the limit.

John was seeing the lighter side of it all when we talked but it sounded like a really surreal experience. During Johns 24 hour stay it was the real deal he had to wear a prison jumpsuit and was mixed in with the general population. He tried to keep a low profile especially fitting into the category of being what his cellmate described as “New blood” (yikes). So he kept his head down avoided eye contact where possible and understandably avoided the showers!

When he received the expected question of what are you in for? and for how long? from fellow inmates some of them thought it was unfair that John had only got 24 hours because they had gotten much longer sentences. Some were in for weeks, months and in some cases years (for DU.I.). Thankfully though they didn’t take out their frustration at John’s shorter sentence on him.

The twisted funny part about his trip to jail though happened just after John arrived for his 24 hour stay. He was at breakfast (a substance John described as “something resembling eggs”) when he looked at the table across from him and to his surprise saw his brother in law!! Initially he ducked his head down and avoided eye contact with his brother in law as he hadn’t told his family he was going to jail! But seeing his brother in law doing the same thing he realized obviously he hadn’t told his family either!

So John and his brother in law both now 'New bloodz' talked after breakfast and joked about what had now become ‘their dirty little secret’. I am sure it was a stressful experience but at least they could find the lighter side of it.

PSYCHO WAITRESS FROM HELL

I went with my friend Saum on Saturday morning to a bar to see a soccer game. It was the F.A. cup semi final between Chelsea and Arsenal (the team I support). Shortly after we arrived the waitress / manager / bargirl who was opening the bar arrived (it was just after 9am). She was dressed all in black, jeans and a t-shirt, and she had jet black hair falling over her face, she was in her mid to late twenties and initially she seemed pleasant enough.
After she opened the door she went inside and let the door swing closed behind her in our faces? and in her hurry to get in she had left her bunch of keys hanging in one of the keyholes behind her?

Then another woman who worked there arrived removed the keys the girl in black had just left behind and told me & Saum that it was ok, we could now go inside. But as we walked in the door the alarm went off and the girl in black got really mad she starting cursing and shouting to no one in particular and rushed off to turn the alarm off. Saum and I looked at each other.... there was just something about the way the girl in black lost it...it was as if the alarm had triggered a psychotic episode in her.

As we walked into the back part of the bar where the soccer game was supposed to be on the girl in black was now storming around like someone just stole her Christmas presents.

“I’m not serving drinks yet” she barked angrily without looking at us.

Saum and I were looking at each other now as if to say please hit me...‘Is this really happening?’

“The kitchens not open either” she then shouted.

We decided to wait and let this crazy bitch get settled hopefully she would turn on the TV’s and calm down so we could get on with watching our game.

A moment later she walked past our table and she was so angry her hands were shaking she put her hand up to cover her face as she passed by...it looked like she was holding back tears of psycho rage!!??

We sat there talking while she was stomping around getting things up and running but the energy she was giving off was so negative it was just freaking me out. I was in the middle of talking to Saum and I just blanked my mind was being disrupted by her bad energy.

She put on the TV but it wasn’t our game so I went up to her, she was now behind the bar, and I asked her “Excuse me, do you have the Setanta channel?” (Setanta is the sports channel the game was on)

“Its cancelled” she sneered without looking up at me.

Unbelieveable...what was this bitch’s problem?

We were convinced she was lying. Saum had called this bar the night before to check were they showing the game and they assured him they were. She was just too psycho to pick up the f**king remote and change the channel.

To be honest even if she’d put on the game at this point I still think we would have left. This girl had such bad, bad karma. Later I discovered my team (Arsenal) lost the game so on the flip side maybe she did me a favor. What?.... well if we’d watched the game and I’d gone through seeing my team lose Saum would have then seen the secret football hooligan come out in me. Then it would have been a full on bar brawl Hugh vs the psycho waitress from hell.

It was amazing to walk outside away from that bad energy... it was such a relief! Funny I thought the number one rule of business was to make people want to come back!? The chances of us ever going back there? Not if hell froze over.

“GOT RAK?”

Still in utter disbelief after our psycho waitress experience Saum and I went to University Ave. to see if somewhere there had got the Arsenal game on. Unfortunately though all the places on University that show soccer were closed.
Our experiences with funky girls were not done yet though because as we were going back to the car commiserating with each other about not being able to see the game I noticed this girl jogging straight towards us on the sidewalk. What caught my attention about this jogger was not just the fact that she was running towards us but it was her shirt that stuck out.... it said ‘GOT RAK?’.

I took a double take thinking wow that’s an unusual shirt to wear jogging. I mean this shirt might work in a club maybe...if she desperately needed a conversation starter!! but for jogging? Anyway, the jogger must have seen me looking at her shirt because she shot me this nasty 'man hate look as if to say... ‘What are you looking at ?’.

So let me get this straight....she puts on a shirt that says ‘GOT RAK?’ and then gives attitude to anyone who notices?? explain that to me rationally.

I joked with Saum that maybe I’d got it all wrong... maybe she was a returning soldier from Iraq...get it... Got ( I ) RAQ? I guess that would mean that if she had been stationed in Afghanistan her shirt would’ve then read ‘Got Stan?’.
Ok that maybe a tad unlikely...and somewhat cheesy. Work with me here...I’m just trying to give this jogger with attitude an out!

CHANNELING THE INNER SOUL MAN!

For those of you who only know my friend Dave McGuiggan in Tucson through this blog I know you maybe torn between loving and hating this now infamous Hugh Nation character. In previous blogs I have told you tales about McGuiggan swinging like a monkey from the rafters, strutting like a man whore an top of bar tables , obsessing over killing dragonflies and jumping out of a car at a stoplight to dance to 50 cent!

But the question is do any of these blog tales really give us the whole picture of who exactly this David McGuiggan character is? Are McGuiggans antics elaborate smoke and mirrors created to misdirect us? (After all... his father is a magician!)

But just when I thought I’d seen all of McGuiggans antics he showed me another. First on Thursday he pulls up the Salt N Pepa video for ‘Shoop’ on youtube and starts singing along and performing it in his computer chair! He swinging around like a gangsta rapper...he was realing feeling it! He knows every word off my heart.

Then on Saturday out of the blue he burst into an unaccompanied version of Micheal Jacksons ‘Smooth Criminal’. Complete with arms pointing to the sky and trademark Jacko esque “hee hee... Ow’ vocal noises.

On both occasions I was taken aback... there was something about McGuiggans performances of Salt n Pepa and Michael Jackson that reminded me of the movie ‘The Commitments’. For those of you who haven’t seen it ‘The Commitments’ is a movie about the struggles of an Irish soul band trying to make it in Ireland (Glen Hansard from the movie ‘Once’ is in it). Some of the musicians in the movie were so into the soul music that although they were as white as snow their catch phrase was “I’m black and I’m proud”.

To me McGuiggan was just like the musicians in ‘The Commitments’ he was channeling his inner soul man! Not in a sad white guy trying so hard to be Black way but it was as if he was feeling it in his soul! I don’t know...maybe Dave was a soul singer or musician in a past life?

Whatever it was that Dave was doing this weekend I believe McGuiggan is like his father the magician. Why? because with David McGuiggan you just never know what he’s going to pull out of his hat next!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

1. Can you remember the worst plastic paddy you’ve ever met?

2. Do you think ‘The Amazing Stripper Race’ will become a popular show?

3. Have you or your friends had D.U.I. punishment experiences?

4. Have you ever experienced the waitress from hell?

5. What gratuitous T-shirts like the ‘Got Rak?’ one I saw have you seen?

6. Should David McGuiggan have his own reality show?

Please post your answers in the comments after the blog.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. Last week I saw the movie ‘Twilight’ and now I’m in the middle of reading the book. While I may not be a full on ‘Twilight-er’ (yet!) it seems that no matter where I go including the ski resort of Mammoth Lakes I’m meeting vampires! Watch for the details people (its all about the details) I have ‘Twilight’ and vampire questions for you at the end. Read on....

THE GANG BANGIN’ GRANNY AND THE PERSIAN VAMPIRE??

Before I get to all things ‘Twilight’ I am going to share with you some of my personal encounters with vampires and other ‘otherworldly’ creatures that I had over my weekend getting to and in Mammoth Lakes, California.

Normally going to rent a car before a trip is an uneventful part of my weekend but this time it seemed like the God’s of blog inspiration were striking early.
First there was my encounter with a gang bangin’ granny (GB granny). She was in her early eighties and was wearing a grey hoodie zipped up with the hood over her head and a pair of very tight sweat pants and white sneakers. When I first saw her I thought to myself oh shit the circus is in town.

As GB granny came into the reception of the car rental office one of the employees was going out and he held the door open for her. He seemed to know GB granny and said “Hello, how are you doing?” she looked at him like he was an asshole and with a bad attitude she said “Well I don’t know”.
GB granny then walked straight up to the counter and despite the fact that the girl behind the desk was on the phone GB granny stuck out her rental car keys as if to say ‘serve me now biatch’. When the girl put down the phone she handled GB granny very well (obviously she’d dealt with her craziness before) but GB grannys antics didn’t stop there. She then started talking loudly to no one in particular boasting about how she had just taken the rental car to the car wash and how she now had the car really clean and fresh smelling. This all sounded a tad suspicious to me.

The car rental employees went out to check GB granny’s car and apparently there was a problem with it. One of the back seats was damaged. Sensing she was in trouble BG granny then walked behind the counter and went straight back to the managers office where she again loudly declared how clean and how fresh smelling the car was.

Unfortunately I didn’t see what happened next as I was taken to another local car rental office to pick up my car there. However it was at the other car rental office, with the twilight movie still on my mind, where I had my first vampire encounter of the weekend. This encounter made even GB granny seem sane!

So there I was sitting waiting to finally get my car and go when I suddenly became aware of somebody looking at me. I looked up and there about 10 feet away from me was another customer just standing there staring at me. As my eyes met his instead of turning away he just kept staring! It wasn’t just rude it was f**king creepy.

Let me describe him. He was a guy in his thirties of Persian decent and he was one weird looking motherf**ker. He had dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were cold and expressionless. He was either a gay stalker, a serial killer, a social freak or a vampire....or maybe a mixture of all these possibilities. Damn it was too early in the morning to be meeting these freaks.

I glared back at him as if to say ‘what the f**k are you looking at?’ but he just kept staring regardless!? Someone behind the counter asked staring man where he’d be dropping off the car and as he answered “L.A.X.” he just continued staring at me but before I got a chance to say anything an employee ushered him quickly out the door to his car.

What a creepy motherf**ker...I wonder where he was flying out to from Los Angeles? He may have been Persian but my guess is his destination was Transylvania!


TEARS FOR ‘THREE FIANCES’ AND THE INSECURE VAMPIRE???

It was a very quite weekend for me in Mammoth Lakes. You would have thought that the Easter weekend would have been very busy but for whatever reason there wasn’t many people up there. However the usual Mammoth mix of high altitude, beer and illegal substances still presented me some strange encounters.

First there was a father and daughter from South Carolina who apparently hadn’t seen each other in many years and were up in Mammoth on a ‘bonding’ holiday. They had been drinking at the bar since three in the afternoon... it was now 9:30pm.
They were nice to me and very enthusiastic about my music. They kept requesting songs and were up dancing and were over the top in their cheering every time I finished a song. The father requested I play some U2 and when I played ‘With or without you’ that’s when the weirdness really started.

First the father got up and started impersonating Bono...he was all twisting arms and constipated face... singing and posing along but then suddenly the painful look on his face became real....then came the tears...floods of tears.....and he sat back down with his face in his hands sobbing uncontrollably!

After the song he went to the restroom and I asked his daughter “Is your Dad alright?” she replied “Oh he’s ok... he’s probably upset about one of his fiances”.

One of his fiances???

She went on to tell me that her parents divorced when whe was young but in the past few years her father had been engaged three times. Each time within a month of the engagement each of the three fiances had broken it off with him.
I’m not making this up....you couldn’t make this up.

Then later on in the night after the father and daughter duo left I had my second vampire encounter of the weekend. He was one guy in a group of five. There was three girls and two guys in the group, they were all in their early twenties.

Mr. vampire had a beard and his hair back in a ponytail...like me, weird, ahem... moving swiftly on... he stood out because he also had dark circles under his eyes and just like the guy I’d seen in the car rental office, his eyes were cold and expressionless too.

One of the girls in the group (vampires girlfriend) was little Ms. upbeat. The total opposite to her very serious looking boyfriend. She was this tiny cute thing, about 4 foot 10 but with the personality of 20 people. She was bouncing around like a yo-yo dancing to the music and hollering at me requesting songs.

Mr. vampire was not impressed at the attention I was getting from his girlfriend but instead of asking her to calm down he decided to just stare at me instead. I was looking back at him thinking.. what the f**k is it this weekend with these staring freak jobs?

Then to make it worse the vampires girlfriend requested ‘Wild Thing’ and when I started playing it she got up on a table by the stage and proceeded to begin a simulated sex routine on all fours!!! She was not holding back. This did stop Mr. vampire staring at me however....he calmly took out his cell phone and started filming her! I know he was her boyfriend but there was something very creepy about the way he did that.

Later the vampires girlfriend told me that she and her boyfriend were originally from Eastern Europe....WHAT?.... I would have asked her was she Transylvanian but I was too busy looking around my stage area for a crucifix.... or something I could break to use as a wooden steak!

Perhaps watching ‘Twilight’ had now started to screw my brain up with paranoia about meeting vampires.....I guess I should get on with facing my vampire demons!

TWILIGHT PT 1: THE MOVIE

Everywhere I go people are talking about this ‘Twilight’ phenomena. About the movie, the books, the movie vs. the book etc etc. I’ve met many ‘grown ups’ who are literally self confessed obsessive about the ‘Twilight’ books. Don’t believe me? Check this out www.twilighters.org
This whole twilight phenomena really had me curious and so last week I finally went and rented the ‘Twilight’ movie. I really wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Before I go on let me state for the record that I’m a fan of the vampire genre. I love the Underworld movie series and movies like ‘Interview with a vampire’ and ‘Queen of the damned’ etc. I was also a fan of ‘Buffy the vampire slayer’ and ‘Angel’ TV shows. So I was also interested to see how twilight stood up these previous vampire movies and TV shows.

Overall the movie of Twilight wasn’t bad but it did leave me feeling a little frustrated. Why? Well, after watching it, I felt like a friend had told me a story but had left out important little details (I’m all about details) and these ‘omissions’ had left my friends story seeming not quite right (untrue) and me feeling suspicious. Do you know what I mean?

On the positive side though I thought the back story about the Indians and the vampires making a pact was interesting and there was some pretty humorous parts in it too like the ‘meet my vampire family’ and the vampire baseball scenes.

It’s not really in the same style as other vampire movies I’ve seen. Although to me it does borrow a lot from the Buffy TV show, it revolves around high school and is full of all the melodrama that only teenagers provide.

TWILIGHT PT 2: THE BOOK

As if fate wanted to fill in the missing story details for me I got the Twilight book as a present for Easter! I am only a few chapters into it now but already I am completely on the whole ‘they TOTALLY screwed up the movie’ bandwagon.

The twilight movie was indeed literally crushed together by idiot Hollywood producers and screenwriters (no doubt a small army of them) who didn’t get the subtly and importance of the Twilight saga’s little details. Goddamn it you Hollywood motherf**kers it’s all about the details!! didn’t you morons watch the ‘Lord of the rings’ movie trilogy? Its called treating your subject matter with respect (God I'm such a nerd!).
Let me give you a quick example of how they didn‘t do the book justice. At the beginning of the book (as in the movie) Bella begins by giving us her “I’d never given much thought to how I would die...” speech.

In the book she gives this speech to herself (in her head) as if writing in a diary. James is getting ready to kill her and then suddenly she jumps back to the beginning of the story. This is a great story telling device that has been used in many books and movies before. You give the reader or your audience a tease of the drama that’s about to unfold before you begin your story.

But for some unknown reason they didn’t use this in the movie? Instead they showed clips of scenery and a frightened looking deer in the Washington State forest. What a waste of a great story telling device. I could give you more examples but you get the idea.

The characters in the book are so much better. All the details about Bella make it so much more believable to me that she would fall so completely for Edward. In the movie without these subtle details it seems to me like a huge leap for her to be so quickly trusting of (as Edward describes himself) a “monster”.

TWILIGHT: QUESTIONS FOR YOU!

1. Have you seen the movie? and if so what did you think of it?

2. Are you a ‘twilighter’ (an obsessed twilight fan) ?
(It’s ok your dirty little secret is safe with the Hugh Nation!)

3. Have you read the book? if you have how does it compare with the movie?

4. Have you ever met someone really vampire like? (and I don’t mean Goth heads!)
Please post your answers/comments after the blog.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This week I am again covering a wide range of subjects. Read carefully people because I have more questions for you to answer at the end. Your feedback to last weeks blog was great and adds a lot to the Hugh Nation blog experience, please keep it up. Read on....

FACEBOOK ‘WHICH CHARACTER R U ’ STAR WARS NERDFEST

I recently did some of those Facebook quiz’s like which lord of the rings character are you? what star wars character are you? and what Joss Whedon (TV show creator of Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse) character are you? etc

I am sure those of you up on Facebook have done these quizzes and you know they are silly but fun. (btw my results were Aragorn, Luke Skywalker & Buffy!)

The reason I mention these quizzes above is that after seeing my friend Shana had taken the “Which Star Wars character are you quiz” and her result was Darth Vader well with my result being Luke Skywalker I just couldn’t resist posting the following Facebook headline....

Ha ha Shana is my Father!

Then I saw my friend Brandon (aka Funky B) also had taken this Star Wars quiz and he too came out as Darth Vader! so I then posted a facebook comment under the headline about Shana and it read....

Hugh: Or is it Brandon thats my father?...oh the drama...I'm Sooo confused. Well it is a Space opera after all.

Then a serious nerdfest began....by the way if you read the following exchange and have no idea what we are talking about... don’t worry...its ok...its a good thing....it means you’re not a nerd.

Brandon: I could take Shana. I have more midiclorians.

Shana: It's My 2 Dads all over again! Hugh Fergus go to your room! p.s. - I really wanted to be Han Solo.

Hugh: but, but, its not too late I can still sense the good in you...together we can defeat the emperor.

Brandon: It is... too late for Shana. The Emperor is her master now. Me, I'm still a good daddy.

Shana: Don't be too proud of this "good daddy" image you've constructed.

Brandon. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Brandon: Don't make me destroy you.

Shana: (makes a pinching motion in the air to choke Brandon)
I have you now! Hahahaha :0p

Brandon: All too easy... (throws lightsaber)

Shana: John Williams music escalates...dun dun dundun da dundun dun dun!!!!!!

Hugh: I've got a bad feeling about this.....

The star wars saga maybe over but as you can see my friends the nerdness left in its wake will never fade.

THE SKY IS FALLING AND WHAT ARE WE STUCK ON?

With the economic crisis gripping the world you’d think the media coverage of the G20 summit in London last week would have been dominated by serious pundit analysis or by protestors on the rampage.. right?

Wrong!... in this time of unprecedented economic peril where every day we are told (like in the story of ‘chicken little’) that the sky is falling, the sky is falling! what are we now stuck on? The Obama family meeting the Queen!

The first Obama/Queen story this week that generated media pandemonium was when news broke about the Obama’s giving the Queen an I-pod! To be honest I could care less what anyone gives the Queen but I would however love to know did Barack put some 50 cent or some good Irish rebel music on there? (maybe The Wolfe Tones!)...after all he is supposed to be of Irish descent right? I don’t think Queenie would have liked that very much though.

Then there was a commotion over whether the Obama’s broke ‘protocol’ when meeting the Queen. First President Obama shook the Queens hand with his two hands (shock horror!) and then after the Queen touched Michelle Obama’s back Michelle apparently did a big no no by putting her arm around the Queen!?

On the flip side however, the Obama’s were given a special private meeting with the Queen and the fact that the Queen wasn’t wearing gloves when she first met the Obama’s was apparently a high mark of respect from the Queen!!

Have you ever heard so much utter bullshit in all your life? What world is the Queen living in and what world do all the people enabling her nonsense live in?

Finally the big Obama/ Queen story this week was about the fashion of Michelle Obama. She really looked more like a movie star than a President’s wife! The salivating media couldn’t wait to make comparisons to Jackie Kennedy and Princess Diana.

It actually seemed like Michelle was changing outfits faster than Cher on tour! At every photo op Michelle made all the other politicians and their wives look plain and grey. She was even upstaging our President, her own husband! Did no one mention to her that this G20 was actually a political event and not a beauty pageant? I believe the phrase I’m looking for here is 'grandstanding’. (Definition: "Showing off" or going out of one's way to appear spectacular)

So how come I’m talking to you about all this much ado about nothing? Why?

Its simple the sky is falling and what are we stuck on? Nonsense.
There's only so much mis direction smoke and mirrors that people can take. Bush, Obama, ultimately it doesn't matter who the president is. People want solutions to the economic crisis not a dog and pony show.

NERD ALERT, NERD ALERT: OBAMA DEPRESSED, DISTANT SINCE 'BATTLESTAR GALACTICA' SERIES FINALE

Ok all you BSG (Battlestar Galactica) nerds out there this is a story for you! (Thank you Kim for sharing) It seems even the chosen one, our President on most high has been affected by the ending of the new Battlestar Galactica TV show....

"The president seems to be someplace else lately," said one high-level official, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Yesterday we were all being briefed on the encroachment of Iranian drone planes into Iraq, when he just looked up from the table and blurted out, 'What am I supposed to watch on Fridays at 10 p.m. now? Numb3rs?'"

Click on the link below to read more of this hilarious spoof article:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obama_depressed_distant_since
THIS ONE’S FOR ALL THE SINGLE LADIES OUT THERE!

Are men really microwaves and women crockpots? well according to the host of the Bravo channel’s ‘reality’ show Millionaire Matchmaker yes they are!Anyway, here below is an extract from a brief interview with the Millionaire Matchmaker host. In this article she shares six of the biggest mistakes single women make! Why am I sharing this? I really think you'll all get a kick out of it. (Article by dating blogger Erin Meanley for Glamour Magazine). Thanks Erin P. for sharing.

#1: They go on too many unproductive dates. "If you know how to date, and you're meeting losers, get off the market and go into dating detox. Clean your energy up so those people don't ask you out anymore. The problem is we women are very impatient. We want it now. Instant gratification! Sometimes the best single men are worth waiting for. You might get one good date a year, versus 100 bad ones, but he's worth it."

#2: They go out with their girlfriends in the hopes of meeting guys. "When you're with your girlfriends, you're not approachable. They're scared. Single men are very timid. I have this theory: Women who travel in packs do not attract. Men who are quality aren't going to go in there and ask you out while your girlfriends are standing right there -- he could get shot down. So it's a really good idea, at about 4 or 4:30 P.M., to go to the bar: Sit at the bar, have a drink, get an hors d'oeuvre, read a mutual-gender book like "The Da Vinci Code," know the score on TV, and pretend you're busy. You're reading a book, you're eating an hors d'oeuvre, you're meeting a friend -- and then you're more approachable because you're by yourself.

#3: They think a guy will always like them if he just gets to know them. "A guy knows right away if he's attracted to you or not. There's no warming up. Men are microwaves, women are Crockpots. Women heat up very slowly. They take in information; they decipher it and download it into their computer. Men know in one second, yes or no."

#4: They overshare on the date. "Single women are so trusting that they tell too much information about themselves. They pump and dump -- they baggage dump! They say, "I'm all relaxed, now he's my best friend and I can tell him whatever I want." They're nervous, and they tell their life story -- and sometimes their life story is not a good story to tell."

#5: They don't let the guy talk enough. "The way you talk on a date should be like a tennis match, but the guy should talk three times as often. It should be 3:1. He volleys, volleys, volleys, now you talk. You can answer the question every time he volleys, but then you lead him with your question, and it should be topical to the conversation he's having. You don't say, 'Hey, do you want to get married? Hey, what's your ex-girlfriend like?' You don't do that. You lead with what he's talking about."

#6: They forget their manners. "The key to a good date is to smile. Engage with eye contact. Let him lead and then you compliment little things along the way. If he orders the dessert and you guys share it, say, 'Oh, this is the best chocolate mousse, I'm so glad you picked this.' Manners are key. Most people do not have manners."

WHEN KIDS REQUEST SONGS WITH INAPPROPRIATE LYRICS

This kid walks up to me on Friday night and says “Will you play...the Killers?”.

“Sure” I said.....but then as I looked around this venue full of kids, all sitting there with angelic like faces staring wide eyed at me like they’d never seen a musician up close before I suddenly remembered the lyrics in the Killers song I was about to sing....“She’s touching his chest now... he takes off her dress now”. ‘Oh fuck’ I thought to myself this could be awkward.

Ok so if there was an issue I could argue they requested it and its not my song... or my lyrics right?... but still.... law suits have flown for less. All it could take is one overly sensitive more money than sense bored and outraged parent to hear those lyrics sung at their kids and next you’ll be seeing me on the Larry King TV show with my lawyer..Mark Geragos! (Mark Geragos has represented Michael Jackson, Winona Ryder, Nate Dogg and Scott Peterson.... generally anyone who’s guilty as hell and up shit creek without a paddle!)

I mean it wasn’t like I was about to start cursing like a sailor (like I normally do!) or start rapping about my bitches, my ho’s my rims and my Glock (ha ha)but by even the most liberal standards you wouldn’t call those Killers lyrics appropriate for the 4-11 age group!

So what did I do?....I did an Ozzy on it!

Ha ha yes indeed I mumbled incoherently right through the offensive verse! Its like I switched singing personality mid verse I went from Hugh to drunken drugged Ozzy and back again! Some of the older kids looked at me confused... maybe the little bastards were trying to punk me? Unlikely...but it wouldn’t surprise me. However I did notice one of the parents looking at me directly and smiling knowingly! I guess she knew the lyrics and appreciated my off the cuff 'Ozzy'-esque censoring.

Ironic isn't it that I'd be using an Ozzy voice to censor lyrics especially considering his infamous potty mouth!

So on reflection I guess its all how you look at it... either I’m a rock n roll sell out for censoring myself or..... I’m a genius for spontaneously finding a happy compromise. I'll leave that for you to decide.

DID TWIN’S ‘SIXTH SENSE’ SAVE SISTERS LIFE?

Have you ever had an unexplainable psychic connection with certain members of your family? For example you hear the phone ring and somehow you know instinctively its your sister calling even though she doesn’t ever call you at the time the phone is now ringing at.....OR.... you suddenly get a strange feeling about your Mother so you call her and find out she’s been in a car accident!

Or... have you ever made a strange connection with someone you hardly knew? And somehow with them it feels like you’ve know them all your life or you feel like you’ve met them somewhere before?

Is it clairvoyance? a sixth sense? some kind of telepathic energy connection? or is there some past life experience involved? Many think these connections we make or seem to naturally have are just nonsensical coincidence. However on the flip side it seems to me that the more open we are to these possibilities the more likely we are to experience phenomena that may convince us there is indeed far more to our existence than what can be scientifically proven by so called ‘modern science’.

I came across a story recently on this subject that I though you all might find interesting. Its a story about two twin sisters in England with a possible psychic connection.

This story asks the question do twins share a psychic bond? ‘Experts’ will say there's no scientific proof, but Gemma Houghton, 15, said that such a tie enabled her to save her sister's life.

In an interview with London's Mirror newspaper, Gemma said she prevented her twin, Leanne, from drowning in a bathtub after getting a "feeling" something was wrong with her sister. Leanne, who has epilepsy, had a seizure in the bath and slipped into the water.

"I just got this feeling to check on her," Gemma told the Mirror. "At first I thought she was washing her hair or playing a trick. But when I lifted her head out (I saw) she had turned blue."

Thanks to training in first aid, Gemma was able to resuscitate Leanne before paramedics arrived. Leanne said she probably wouldn't have reacted as calmly had the tables been turned. "I'd have probably started crying," she said. Britain's Sun newspaper also covered the story, and looked more closely at the question of psychic bonds between twins.

The Houghtons told the newspaper that Gemma sometimes gets dizzy spells the night before her sister has a seizure -- though she didn't in this case.

"She once rang me on my birthday to warn me I was going to have a fit," Leanne told the Sun. "I thought she was having a laugh. But sure enough, later that day I had one. It's very frightening, but at the same time it helps to be prepared."

The Sun asked a doctor, Carol Cooper, about telepathy between twins.
"Sometimes we see an uncanny coincidence and amplify it to the point where we believe it's more significant than it is," she said. "But this might simply be the result of two people who are emotionally very close, and thus better at anticipating and reading changes in the other."

So my friends was this just a case of as the Doctor says “an uncanny coincidence”, an actual case of psychic connection or is it just a story exaggerated to earn money from the British papers?

I'll leave that up to you to conclude.

Here below are links to the two English newspaper articles referenced in the story above:

The London Mirror newspaper article:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/03/24/twin-saves-sister-from-drowning-thanks-to-telepathic-bond-115875-21222902/
The Sun newspaper article:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/real_life/article2336706.ece
QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

1. What do you think of the Queens touching 'protocols'? (Don't be shy now tell me how you really feel)

2. Do you agree that men are microwaves and women are crockpots?

3. Ok so I confessed recently that 'Millionaire Matchmaker' is the reality show that I can't stop watching. Now its your turn.. tell me what reality show/s that you guys can't get enough of... and why?

4. Have you ever experienced a psychic connection with someone?

NB Please post your answers in the comment section after the blog.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends,

How are you doing? Good I hope.

Welcome to my new blog. Today I’m talking about U2 ‘s new music, Catholic nuns! and some of my close encounters with Hollywood celebrities. At the end I have questions for YOU. So get ready, here we go, read on....

NO LINE (SONG) LEFT ON THE HORIZON?

I am a big fan of U2 I think they are a truly great band with great songs and they have 25 years of success to prove it! They are also heroes to me because they have achieved a global level of success never before attained by an Irish band.

Feeling this way about U2 I was taken aback when I recently heard their new single ‘Get On Your Boots’. Why? well in my opinion the song seemed very weak...especially in comparison to the first singles from recent U2 CD’s like ‘Beautiful Day’ and ‘Vertigo’.

So when I got U2’s new CD ‘No line left on the horizon’ I was hoping that the CD would be much better than the first single. Unfortunately it was not. It sounds to me like they are trying to be different musically for the sake of it. It’s the first time I’ve ever listened to a U2 CD and not liked it straight away.

U2 have done different before like the CD ‘Achtung baby’ where Bono’s voice went all distorted and their Electronica styled CD ‘Pop’. Both were stylistically big departures for the band but for me what made those changes good was the fact that in spite of the changes the songs mostly remained strong.

Would you believe that I actually disliked the new U2 CD so much that after about 5 songs I just had to turn it off. Why? I just couldn’t bear to listen to it anymore, it was really pissing me off. Its like I was listening to my musical heroes disappearing up their own arseholes and I couldn’t bare to listen to it happen.

Its like U2 unintentionally sacrificed good songwriting to make quote unquote “art”. Radiohead lost me personally a few years back when they did the same thing. To me great songs have always got to come first and after all why can’t you have both? like ‘The Beatles’ did so well.

In a recent Rolling Stone interview Bono talking about making this new CD said and I quote “There’s this fear that this might be the one where the nose of the plane starts to dip down...that can happen to us (U2). In fact it’s likely to. And what might stop it?”.

Perhaps a genuine fear of as Bono says ‘the nose of the plane dipping down’ caused U2 to over think over analyze while making this CD...essentially they may have been trying too hard to do something that they have always appeared to do so easily and successfully.

But maybe I’ve got it all wrong? If any of you have heard the new U2 CD I’d love to know what you think. I’d actually love for someone to be able to convince me that I’ve got it all wrong!

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE CATHOLIC KIND

I got this funny tale in an e-mail from a friend last week, maybe its because I was raised Catholic? but I thought it was funny enough to share with you all....

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you ! my son? '

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

You know some nuns I’ve met were the nicest people you could ever meet and then there were others who were like Satan’s mercenaries! So while this story above is obviously only a fable in a strange way it really wouldn’t surprise me if it were true!

CELEBRITY ENCOUNTERS OF THE IRISH KIND

Come back with me my friends to 2000 I was traveling with an Irish rock band to Los Angeles for the first time. Talk about strangers in a strange land. After signing a development deal with Sony/Colombia our manager Bud Prager who I wrote about in a recent blog brought the band to L.A. to play showcases in the hope we could secure a full on record deal.

I’ve been wanting to tell you this story for a while now and this week I finally have the opportunity. But before I begin let me clarify something. This is not a story about why the band was in L.A. its actually about the various encounters the band had with celebrities over the course of this two month trip.
It is not my intention in this story to name drop (that’s not my style) but instead to simply share with you how this small group of guys from little old Ireland dealt with the weirdness that is meeting Hollywood celebrities.

Our bumping into celebrities actually began when we arrived at Dublin airport as we were leaving for Los Angeles. Just after we arrived I spotted Thom Yorke (singer in Radiohead) waiting in the check out line beside us. (I had actually gone to see Radiohead the night before in concert). He was very shy but gladly signed an autograph for me. A few minutes later our guitarist then approached Johnny Greenwood (Radiohead guitarist) in the line of an airport cafe. Unfortunately Mr Greenwood wasn’t as receptive to been approached by fans as Mr. Yorke was. He just put his hand up to as if to say 'F**k off leave me alone'!! What a dick.

Then in LAX we exchanged hellos with comedian and actor Billy Connolly and saw Mr Oded Fehr (actor from The Mummy 1 & 2 and Resident Evil 2 & 3). We hadn’t even got to Hollywood yet and we’d already met celebrities. We were already excited travelling to L.A. but now after meeting all these celebs we were extra buzzed.

Over the next two months we stayed at a Hotel on Franklin Ave (a block above Mann’s Chinese theatre) in Hollywood and our celebrity encounters continued at the hotel and outside Mann’s theatre. We came across a bunch of actors including Christian Slater, Denise Richards and Ron Perlman (Hellboy).

During this two month trip to Hollywood on most days we would walk about one and a half miles east along Hollywood Blvd to a rehearsal studio (near Vine St). While literally walking everyday along the Hollywood walk of fame to work we bumped into all sorts of characters. One day we bumped into a group of playboy bunnies laden down with bags (exiting Frederick‘s of Hollywood lingerie store) and another day we saw Ron Jeremy (Infamous porn star) standing at an ATM.

The best encounter we had on Hollywood Blvd though was one day when we were all standing outside our rehearsal room (on a smoke break). All of a sudden up comes a big long white stretch limo. As the limo approaches us it slows right down and the back window slowly slides open. In the back seat waving at us as he went by like he was the Queen or something was none other than Little Richard! That was mind blowing, I mean Little Richard is a rock n roll legend! (obviously in terrible need of attention).

But these were not to be funniest or the closest encounters we were to have with celebs on this trip. It was at the entertainment industry parties we went to when the fun really started.

One party we attended was at a nightclub in Hollywood. It was a lingerie party hosted by Rose McGowan (one of the witches from the TV show Charmed) as you can imagine we really had to have our arms twisted to attend this one!

Unfortunately our guitarist got burned badly again at this party when he tried to approach ex James Bond actor Timothy Dalton. Our guitarist tapped Dalton on the shoulder to get his attention but Daltons reply wasn’t at all friendly. Without turning his head Dalton simply raised his hand up and loudly said in an angry tone “NO”...wow...another celeb asshole. The drummer had more success though he ended up getting into a long chat with TV’s Superman Dean Cain after meeting him in the line for the restroom!

After this party seeing celebrities wasn’t enough of a kick anymore to us so to amuse ourselves we decided to start a game. It was simple...how many celebrities can you get talking too. The winner would be the one with the most conversations started. The guitarist wasn’t too keen on this game having been burnt twice already but the rest of us were totally up for it.

So at the next party we attended, which was a charity event headlined by Beck, we decided to try out our celebrity game. This party was just incredible, it was in an huge mansion that sat on a hill in the city of Silverlake (overlooking downtown L.A.) The view from this place was spectacular.

I decided to get the ball rolling with our celebrity game when I saw actress Minnie Driver (Circle of Friends & Good Will Hunting) standing by herself. Apart from being an actress Minnie is also a singer songwriter and was performing at this party I walked up to her after she had finished performing and casually just said “Hey Minnie, howareya? I didn’t know you could sing?”.

That sounds terrible doesn’t it?....it didn’t seem to bother Ms. Driver though she seemed happy enough to talk to me and told me how she had been a singer songwriter before she was an actress and I was surprised...she was so normal! There was no diva behavior from Ms. Driver.

That’s the weird thing I think about approaching celebs.... when you get past the “Oh my God that’s.. so and so” you realize wow these celebs are just as freaked out by being famous as we are about talking to them!

At this hilltop party our drummer put us all to shame and easily won our ‘how many celebrities can you get talking to’ game. He was swanning around like he lived at the place! He got chatting with a bunch of celeb’s including Anthony Keidis (singer with the Red hot chili Peppers), Robert Downey Jr and actress Christina Ricci . His encounter with Ms. Ricci though was the best.

Ms. Ricci was surrounded by an entourage of her ‘people’ but this didn’t put the drummer off one bit. To the horror of Ms. Ricci’s entourage he just walked right up to her and started chatting away. Ms. Ricci’s entourage tried to get up in the drummers face as if to say ‘back off’ but surprisingly Ms. Ricci waved them off! She recognized our drummers Irish accent and she proceeded to chat with him all about her Irish ancestory!

Looking back on this trip it makes me see there really is some truth to the expression that ‘You can take an Irishman out of Ireland but you can’t take Ireland out of the Irishman’. Talking has never been an Irish weakness!

So after this weeks blog I have three questions for YOU!

1. What do you think of the new U2 song or CD?

2. How do you REALLY feel about Catholic nuns? (Yes its ok to vent!)

3. What celebs have you met? Tell me about your celebrity encounters. Have the ones you’ve met been nice or assholes to you?

Please go ahead and post your comments after the blog below.

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh

Hello my friends!

How are you doing?

There was no blog the weekend before St Patrick’s day because I was right in the middle of a crazy week full of shows. So now today’s blog is stuffed full of tales from the road. Read on....

CELL PHONE MID SHOW SHENANIGANS

Recently for some reason I’ve been getting a lot of texts on my cellphone in the middle of my shows. I always have my cell phone in ‘visual range’ during shows so when I see the phone flashing I can read texts at a glance (in between songs)without interrupting the show.

The first example I’ll give you of one of these mid show texts is one I got during a show in Fresno on Friday the 13th! The text said and I quote....

“Cinderella was fired from Disney today. She was found bouncing on Pinocchio's face screaming LIE MOTHERF**KER LIE!”.

On a more family friendly note! during the same show my friend Sarah (The Sarah-nator) texted me to say that Marty had called her from the show and that she had been dancing with her kids in her living room while listening to me live via cell phone!

Then on St Patrick’s day I got a text mid show warning me about a nearby DUI checkpoint and another text requesting two songs for me to play!

Now that I’ve typed about this I realize I probably shouldn’t really include this story. Why? because knowing the Hugh Nation I’m now probably going to get swamped with mid show texts!

ALIEN SIDE NOTE 1: MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER ALIENS?

To be honest I really HATE quote unquote “reality” shows and never watch them but recently while flicking channels on TV I came across a reality show that for some reason I just could not stop watching!

The show is called ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’. Have you ever seen it? Its where this supposed third generation matchmaker who looks like a stereotypical L.A. cougar but has an East coast attitude (and a Brooklyn mouth) sets up Millionaires with hot dates.

Why it is that I can’t stop watching this show I’m not sure? My jaw is on the floor most of the time at the things that are being said. Let me give you a great example:

In one of the episodes a millionaire (owner of a sex toy company!) was looking for a wild woman who he could ‘teach’ how to pole dance. The Matchmaker picked a wild Asian cougar for Mr Sex toy company and during their so called ‘date’ this Asian cougar commented to him that if they had sex that she would then ...and I quote “own him” (by the way she took to the pole dancing way too fast for his comfort too).

The Asian cougars comment disturbed the millionaire but later the matchmaker laughed at him and told him how he just didn’t get women (what?). You see according to the matchmaker the millionaire had got it all backwards because when the Asian cougar said she’d “own him” apparently what she actually meant was that she was good in bed.

The matchmaker then went on to say “Oh we’ve all said things like that in our time“ and she recalled telling some guy back in the day that and I quote “Once I give you a blowjob you’ll never eat again”.

Do you see what I mean? Its un freakin’ believable! This is such a culture shock thing for me. I just watch this show in utter disbelief at what’s coming out of peoples mouths. I feel like I’m peeking in on aliens on some distant planet (even though this show takes place 30 miles away from where I live!) or is it aliens down a rabbit hole?

Maybe.. because its like a modern day Alice in la la land!

‘SENSUAL’ VIKING IN A GLASS CAGE?

Its Friday the 13th of March and I’m playing at Sequoia Brewing in the Tower district in Fresno. Behind me as I play is a wall of big windows which look out on the main street. So why am I telling you this?

Well you see my Danish ‘Viking’ friend in Fresno, Carol Ann, whose most recent MySpace mood announced to cyberspace she was feeling “Sensual” decided to go outside and start dancing by those windows behind where I was performing. I guess she just had to get her sensual on!

Ha ha..... it was as if I had a glass cage behind me with my own dancing girl!

How Kid Rock is that? Cool... now all I need is a Shetland pony and a midget!

Carol Ann’s ‘sensual’ dancing grabbed a lot of attention (as you can imagine) and for one moment I really though she was about to (as that infamous old rap song says) “Put ‘em on the glass”. She didn’t go there in the end...well I mean c’mon she was dancing out on the sidewalk of a busy street!

Later when my friend Marty talked to me about Carol Ann dancing he said “Wow I really thought Carol Ann was about to (and he imitated the song) put em on the glass”.

A HA so I wasn’t the only one who though she was going there!

MARTY’S NEW SONG DEBUT

Speaking of Marty, he got to debut a new song he wrote this weekend during the now traditional Marty half time show. I believe the song is called ‘Handful of dreams’ and it got a terrific reaction from the crowd. I recorded both of Marty’s half time shows this weekend on my digital recorder and they may end up being Marty’s debut ‘live’ CD! Congrats to you Marty may you write many more.

HUGH AND THE ST PATRICK’S HAT OF SHAME

I had one of those cheesy tall green St Patrick’s day hats on stage with me early on Saturday night and as I held it up to crowd I said....

“Ok normally I wouldn’t be caught dead in a hat like this but if I can get some of you up here doing an Irish jig I’ll put it on”.

A little ways into the song quite a few people did get up and start doing a jig! my bluff was called so I now had to put the hat on! “No pictures when I put this on” I said, but I was wasting my breath, no sooner had the hat gone on my head then BOOM the cameras in the crowd were flashing like papparattzi.

Will I ever live it down? I looked like Guns n Roses guitarist Slash in a trippy ’Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory’ LSD like dream.

FUNKY B, KATIE D AND DIVA KATIE

Once the dancing started there was all kinds of funky dance moves happening. The funkiest moment of the night though belonged to my friend Brandon as HE backed HIS booty into his girlfriend Katie D! She looked as shocked as I was! That piece of dancing role reversal means that from now on I shall refer to him only as ‘Funky’ Brandon.... or just Funky B for short.

Funky B and Katie D (man with names like that you guys should form a band or something!) have another friend called Katie and these three musketeers have been in my blog before... they were involved in the Hugh Nation Fresno helium party a few weeks back.

Katie 2 lets call her Diva Katie is an classically trained Opera singer and towards the end of the night Diva Katie got up and sang a Gershwin song unaccompanied. Wow she really deserves the title diva what a great voice she has. I joked with Brandon and the two Katies afterwards that between their (funky) dancing and wonderful singing we should put together a Hugh Nation musical..... think Dirty Dancing meets My Fair Lady!....ok....maybe not!

ALIEN SIDE NOTE 2: ALIEN CREATURE IN FRESNO & PERU?

On another brief side note I came across a story I wanted to share with you all about strange alien creatures captured on video in Fresno, California and Lima, Peru. Follow the link below to read more and view two videos of footage.

Its very strange and creepy stuff. Real or fake? I’ll let you decide.....

http://www.unknowncountry.com/news/?id=7439
“YOU’RE INSULTING ME WHEN YOU SHOULD BE TAKING NOTES”

This is one of my favorite quotes from Fox Mulder in the X-files and its an appropriate quote that I should have used for two, as we say in Ireland, ‘gobshites’ (douch bags) that came up to have a ‘chat’ with me over the St Patrick’s week.

The first gobshite comes up to me and tells me (right after a show in Tucson) that he likes what I do but that he’s got a bigger vocal range than me (What?).

“Really?” I said trying to hold back the laughter.

“My voice is three octaves... I think” he said.

I couldn’t believe this guy was serious...if he wasn’t so young and naive I’d have told him to go f**k a goat but I was feeling generous.

“Actually I’m the highest voice...the ah....you know.....I’m a...” he was struggling to find the right word.

At this point my friend Dave McGuiggan and I were looking at each other in utter disbelief. Dave is not a musician but he works in the music dept of Tucson’s U of A so he’s seen all types of music people.

“You mean Tenor” says Dave.

“Yeah exactly” said the gobshite.

Can you believe this gobshite f**kology?

Then the second gobshite encounter happened after I’ve just played a few songs at a show in L.A. This gobshite comes up to me and announces “You need a band” (What?).

“Really?” I said laying on the sarcasm thick “You know that’s original...did you come up with that one yourself?...wow... I’ve never heard that before”.

I then announced to the bar (pouring on the sarcasm) “Ladies and Gentlemen for future reference, just so you all know.... my drum machine is actually quite sensitive.... so please be gentle”.

Later I overheard the same gobshite talking about me to his buddies....

“Oh he’s not really Irish” he said.

“I’m 100% born and raised” I said over the mic looking right at him.

“Oh he heard us” one of his friends said.

“If you are going to insult me at least have the decency to come up and do it to my face” I said and all their heads went down.

Jesus... I ask you all where do these motherf**king gobshites come from?

MR SEX PANTHER

While playing a great outdoor St Patrick’s day show in Tucson I noticed a strange guy dancing like Napoleon Dynamite (in other words dancing like a freak) wearing a green St Patricks day looking T shirt that said ‘No. 8, SEXXX PANTHER’.

Who wears a shirt like that? Where’s the Irish significance in Sexxx panther?

I wasn’t sure whether this guy was mentally ill or just totally in love with himself?
Hmm.... maybe he was a bit of both? But what ever was going on inside his head it was his dance moves that would have left even St Patrick himself in tears. Imagine a cross between really bad Riverdancing, Neanderthal sex and a village people (Y.M.C.A.) dance routine....Yeah.... it was THAT bad.

ST PATRICK’S DAY PETTING ZOO

This story is a strange one and I won’t be using real names so everyone involved take a deep breath right now your secrets safe with me. This ’event’ happened on St Patrick’s day right after my show, everyone was in good spirits and feeling happy (Translation: they were all drunk).

Ok so there’s this girl there with boobs that are very hard to miss I'm going to call her Patricia.

Well Patricia’s boobs were getting a lot of attention and when one guy (lets call him Wolfgang) decided to pop a dollar bill down between Patricia’s boobs another guy (lets call him Maximus) decided to retrieve Wolfgang’s dollar...with his mouth!

This is when my attention was drawn to what was happening. Maximus was wearing one of those tall St Patrick’s day Guinness hats and as I looked at his dollar retrieval operation in progress I could see Maximus bent over into Patricia’s chest but all I could see was his Guinness hat!.... it was if his head was totally submerged in Patricia’s boob vortex.

A few moments later Maximus surfaced dollar in mouth and commented on how firm Patricia's boobs were! Wolfgang says “Really?” and just puts his finger inbetween Patricia’s boobs like it was public property! “Yeah you’re right they are firm” said Wolfgang to Maximus.

Then as if Patricia’s boobs weren’t being poked enough two ladies now got involved! (I’m going to call them Rosie and Foxy).

Well, seeing the boys poking in Patricia’s boobs Rosie and Foxy decided to come over and have a poke too!! and afterwards began a conversation with Wolfgang and Maximus about Patricia’s boobs... “Mmmm they are nice” said Foxy “I told you” said Maximus and so on, it was as if Patricia wasn’t there!!

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.... I had witnessed Patricia’s boobs literally become a St Patrick’s day petting zoo!

“How do you feel about all this boob action you’re getting” I asked Patricia who was just standing there with a BIG smile on her face.

“I don‘t know what to say?” said Patricia. Then she looked down at her boobs looked at me and said... “They’re just there!”.

BSG SAYS GOODBYE & THE SIMPSONS GO TO IRELAND

Ii was kind of sad to watch the final episode of the new Battle Star Galactica (BSG) TV show last Friday night, as I’ve mentioned before in previous blogs I LOVE this show. Any nerds out there who haven’t seen this final episode...don’t panic! I won’t give anything away (no spoilers here).

As always the final episodes were full of the trademark tension of BSG, you really never know what’s going to happen next in this show.

I believe that learning lessons from some past sci fi shows like Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and The X Files the producers of BSG may have figured that it maybe better to go out on top and I have to say I think the show ended at the right time...on a high. Its one of the few tv show conclusions that I’ve seen that I truly feel got it just about right.

As for the Simpson’s going to Ireland episode? I don’t know which was worse the leprechaun pilots flying the Simpsons to Ireland, Sisc O’ systems, Taco Bel-fast or a gay yuppie leprechaun couple. There wasn’t an original Irish joke in there just cliche after cliche. I’m sorry but the whole leprechaun top of the mornin’ Irish-een thing makes me want to puke.
There was one funny part though where they made fun of the movie ‘Once’. That was the part I was watching for, what a trip that must’ve been for Glen Hansard to be in the Simpsons. Good for him.

THANK YOU!

Before I leave you with some funny quotes from my St Patrick’s week let me just briefly thank everyone in Los Angeles, Fresno and Tucson who came out to my St Patrick’s week shows. Your support was greatly appreciated.

Special thanks to Marty & Anne Montgomery, Mike Moynihan, David McGuiggan, Maureen Elstran, Bernie Tusko and finally Maggie for baking me & my family some of her awesome soda bread.

QUOTES FROM ST PATRICK’S WEEK:

1. The organizer of a party I was playing at says to the crowd over the mic...

“Please give Hugh some tips”.

Then some gruff voiced man tryed to be funny and shouted up..

“Yeah if he strips”.

Talk about weird, creepy and not funny. I swear it was like a tumbleweed went by... the silence after his comment in the room was deafening.

2. On Friday the13th in Fresno after the show I was packing up my equipment when I overheard two older men talking loudly at the bar...one of them said...

“Just turn any girl scout upside down and you’ll find a brownie”. (WTF?)

3. My friend Marty got a new strap for his guitar on Saturday which is no big deal but as I was checking my e-mails on his computer I overheard him in the background saying to his wife...

“I’m just going to put my strap on”. (What?)

This struck me all wrong so I asked Marty “What did you say?” and we all laughed at the twisted double meaning of it all. A few minutes later though I hear Marty calling me from the guest bedroom apparently he was having trouble with his guitar strap.

“Hugh will you help me put my strap on?” he shouted.

That just totally freaked me out!

4. This moron at the Saturday night Fresno show shouts out:

“Girls just wanna have fun!” why he shouted this I’m not sure? was he trying to be funny about my long hair? who knows but I couldn’t let it pass..

Me: “Who said that?”

Moron: “It was me”

Me: “Whats wrong with you?... are you English or something?”.

The crowd laughed...the moron went red.

4. After the show on Saturday night in a pool hall in Fresno a friend of mine tried to explain to me the difference between Irish and Scottish people... “The only difference between the Irish and the Scots” he said “Is that the Scots were the Irish who could swim!”.

5. The same friend also explained to me how much he likes my live CD... “I listen to your CD all the time...I go to sleep listening to it!”.

6. Hmmmm is this a case of Hugh vs the Catholic church?

“I’m sorry I couldn’t sing along with Who the f**k is Alice?” said one of my friends in Tucson.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well...because I gave up cursing for Lent!” she said.

7. Special Agent Bambi in Tucson speaking about the secret agent ‘work attire’ she and Special Agent Thumper wear said and I quote..

“When we go on missions we wear nothing but high heels and garters”.

Why is it that in my head right now I can hear Jimi Hendrix singing...’Foxy!’?

Have a great week my friends!

Hugh

Welcome to my latest tales from the road blog. This is a weird one...read on!

OCTOMOM RANT 3: THE 800 POUND GORILLA

For the third time now in my tales from the road blog I return to the subject of Octomom. Why? you may ask.... why am I wasting my blogging energy on her? Let me explain.

Firstly because I think I’ve figured out exactly what it is about Octomom that has so many people all over the world pissed off and secondly because I want to directly address the 800 pound gorilla in the room (Definition: 800 Pound gorilla: The big, dominant factor regarding some topic). There is a harsh reality about this Octomom situation that no one seems to want to acknowledge, a home truth that I believe shows there is an actual point to the anger people feel towards Octomom.

Ok before I bring all this Octomom ranting to its conclusion let me fill you in on the latest facts that have surfaced about her.

Octomom got an offer of a $1 million porn contract with Vivid Entertainment (who have released porn videos featuring Pamela Anderson and Kim Kardashian) they were also willing to pick up the cost of health care for her kids for a year (Ahhh bless their hearts). Octomom turned the offer down. One movie Octomom has made though that she is trying to sell is the video taken of the birth of her octuplets!!! (ouch)

The sperm donor for Octomom’s 14 kids, Mr. Dennis Beaudoin (who is now married with two kids of his own) says he ‘wants to help’ Octomom raise the kids. He claims he dated Octomom for 3 years in the 90’s (while she was married!). I can’t imagine his wife being too happy about that.

In October 2008 unable to find one of her sons Octomom called 911. The police released the tape to the media last week. During the call Octomom (thinking her son may have been abducted) completely lost the plot and shouted over and over again.....

“I want to kill myself, I want to kill myself”.

The 911 operator replied.. “Don’t say that in front of your other children”.

Octomom later said that “Hormones were to blame” for her suicidal outburst during the call..... I am not making this up......shit you couldn’t make this up!

Ok so now before I conclude lets quickly recap the main facts we have learned about Octomom in my recent tales from the road blog rants....

1. Of the six children Octomom already had before the octuplets were born 3 have special needs. One is Autistic another has ADD and another has a significant speech delay.

2. The estimated cost of care for the octuplets to the Californian taxpayer (so far) is well over one million dollars.

3. Octomom’s decision to have more kids on top of the six she already had was described by her own mother as “Unconscionable”.

4. She is a psychology graduate student.(WTF?)

5. She hasn’t had sex in 8 years.

6. Octomom says she met the father of her 14 children in a nightclub and went to the movies with him one time before deciding (a) she didn’t want him as a boyfriend and (b) that she wanted him to be her sperm donor!

However while Octo sperm donor, Mr. Dennis Beaudoin says he did donate sperm to Octomom he also says he dated Octomom for 3 years (not just one date as she claims) back in the 90’s....while she was married!

7. She has received death threats and been offered a porn movie contract.

8. She is trying to sell a video of her octuplets birth for $1 million .

9. During a 911 last year Octomom repeatedly shouted “I want to kill myself”.

10. Dr Phil is involved.(Yeah...the circus is in town)

Its mind blowing isn’t it? when you list off all the crazy shit about her like that. No wonder people are so hopping mad about her and I left out all about her plastic surgery quest to look like Angelina Jolie.

So now to conclude I am going to reveal to you what I think is the real reason so many people are pissed off with the Octomom story. It has nothing to do with her personally or even with her grossly irresponsible actions, I think it is simply her unbelievable sense of entitlement. “Having a big family is my dream” Octomom said during one of her TV interviews.

I truly believe she doesn’t think that she’s done anything wrong. She just doesn’t get it. I believe that in these tough economic times Octomom has inadvertently become the poster child (so to speak) for the ‘nanny state’ generation of entitlement.

Her children will suffer, her parents will suffer and so will the Californian taxpayers... but that’s ok because she’s ‘living the dream’. In a strange way her complete lack of acknowledgement of what she’s done mirrors the attitude of the corrupt politicians the corporate CEO’s and the corrupt bankers and stockbrokers on wall street. It is this selfish greedy looking after number one attitude that I think pisses people off the most.

And then the 800 pound gorilla in the room?

Its simply this... Octomom is mentally ill.

I am sorry but its true. She is a danger to herself her parents and a liability to her fourteen children. How she has got to this point in her life without being called on it I’ll never know. It seems like nobody has the balls to just come out and say this and when they do (like Fox news anchor Bill O Reilly did) the politically correct media scream outrage. Not even Sunday school psychologist Dr f**king Phil could bring himself to call it like it is or suggest a real solution to help those poor 14 kids.

Newsflash: I just saw that Octomom’s second publicist has quit. He says and I quote “(she has) got real greedy. This woman is nuts." I couldn’t have said it better, now unfortunately I predict things are about to get real ugly.

BLACK GUY WITH THE ‘KISS ME’ PINK TIE

After my show on Friday night I pulled into a gas station and in the parking space beside me was a cheap ass sports car with some wannabe gangsta Hispanic guy sitting in it. He had his drivers seat dropped to the floor and pushed back so he could barely see over the steering wheel and all the windows were rolled down so everyone could hear how cool it was that he was listening to gangsta rap. He was a living breathing cliche.

I smiled to myself (locked my car!) and walked towards the door into the gas station store. As I got to the door and opened it another customer was coming out so I held the door for him. “Thank you” he said but as he walked past I noticed what he was wearing...wow....let me lay it out for you. He was a black guy in his early 20’s wearing a red baseball cap on sideways (surprise, surprise) baggy jeans and a red American football jersey (standard ‘playa’ attire) but what stood out was the fact he was wearing a bright pink and very wide tie that had the words ‘KISS ME’ written on it. I realized he was obviously the partner in ‘grime’ of the Hispanic wannabe gang banger I’d seen outside.

By the way this gas station was in Dana Point, in south Orange County just a few miles down the road from Laguna beach... not exactly what you’d describe as ‘the hood’.

I got in line at the counter inside the gas station and a minute or so later Mr. pink tie came back in. He went straight up to the counter returned the restroom key and then got in line behind me. Some poor girl who looked desperate to go potty snapped the restroom key off the counter and practically ran out the door! Just after she left Mr. pink tie (to no one in particular) blurted out “Man someone went and funked it up”...what? was he was referring to a ‘funk’ he experienced in the restroom? I guess he was... in other words... if that ‘must go potty now’ girl comes back in and complains about the restroom everybody ‘Well it wasn’t me’...wow... classy.

Mr. ‘pink tie for the straight black guy’ saved the best till last though because as I was walking out I overheard him ask the girl behind the counter “Hey baby... you wanna go to the club with us?”. I expected him to get burned but to my astonishment the girl behind the counter said “Which club?”.

Back in my car as I was pulling out of my parking space I see Mr. pink tie now walking out of the gas station struttin’ like he was fiddy cent (I guess he got a number) and he shouts out to his Hispanic buddy “Lets roll homes”. The boyz in the Southern Orange County hood were off. Talk about square pegs in round holes!

THE DAY I DID A PORNO SOUNDTRACK ‘LIVE’!

Speaking of square pegs in round holes there is a story about a show I did a few years back that I have been meaning to share with you its about the afternoon I played at a ‘model showcase’ in a posh hotel in Los Angeles. I hadn't been living here all that long and talk about stranger in a strange land I had no idea of what I had gotten myself into.

It was like a cattle mart, there were models standing in front of tables all around a big hotel ballroom. On each models table there were photos, magazines and various types of merchandise for sale and there was a bunch of old horny guys walking around with cameras taking pictures of the models and buying their merchandise.

The models just stood in front of their tables in bikinis, smiling and flirting with the customers, the more successful models had sponsors and their own security. Some of the models were very shiny looking...they had covered themselves in Vaseline! I am sure that works for a photo shoot but indoors in the ballroom of a posh hotel?... weirdness.

I am sure most of the guys reading this will think I was in la la land and some of the models admittedly were very beautiful but honestly I was freaked out by the whole thing.

So there I was standing up on a stage overlooking this model cattle mart and I didn’t know what to play!...I felt like a square peg in a round hole. Play romantic music I was told. Jesus I thought to myself I’m about to do a porno soundtrack ‘live’!!

None of the models had actually done porn though, the event organizers was very adamant about this, these models were exclusively quote unquote “swimsuit models”. To me though it was just one big giant pornographic grey area filled with 98% naked women and a horde of ‘Viagra charged’ dirty old voyeurs!

I played for a while and then I just had to take a break, I had to get outside, I felt weird. I’m not prudish...really... I mean I love women! I’m married to one (ha ha) but I guess the truth is I'm just so f**king old fashioned.

It was such a strange show to do I mean the only place I could look out into the audience and not see semi naked women was the ceiling. It was hard to keep a straight face yet alone sing and play. One of the models saw I was obviously uncomfortable in the situation and came up to me and said “You sound good”.

Ok sure its nice to have a beautiful woman in a bikini covered in Vaseline come up and compliment you but I just wanted to get out of there.

As I started to walk out of the ballroom I noticed all the guys at the event running towards a small room off to the side. In this room was a small stage and on it posing like a 'sex maniac vixen' was one of the more well known models.

The men descended around that stage for this ‘photo opportunity’ like a pack of paparattzi wolves! the cameras were flashing and they were all calling for her to look this way and that.
I had to walk past this commotion on my way out and the smell of male body odor in that room practically knocked me off my feet, what it must have been like for the model on stage I can only imagine.

This was very definitely a case of take the money and run! It was one of those moments when you realize..."I'm not in Kansas anymore"...welcome to L.A.

THE ECONOMY CLUSTERF**K

God I love the word clusterf**k.....I first heard Clint Eastwood say it in the movie 'Heartbreak Ridge' but I digress... Ok this is my brief economy for dummies rant... please go with me on this one.

Ok lets break this down to basics....take a hypothetical situation...you own a bar (the economy), suddenly business gets slow and your bar starts to lose money (the economic meltdown) you have invested a lot of money in your business and you don’t want to lose your investment or have to let employees go...so what do you do?

Do you...

(A) Borrow more money than sense (bail out) and throw it at your business getting yourself in even more debt? Pay for promotion, advertising etc etc praying that as they say in the movie Field of dreams.....
‘if you build it they will come!’

OR

(B) Do you reduce your outgoings and think outside the box and find ways to increase business again, in other words, adapt and overcome adversity?

To me this is a complete no brainer... (B) is obviously the way to go yet our new Government is doing (A) all the way... and in maximum overdrive!

I just don’t get it? It just doesn’t add up for me. To be totally honest the conspiracy theorist in me has a really bad feeling about this situation but maybe I‘ve got it all wrong?

What do you think? A penny for your thoughts.....

Have a great week my friends.

Hugh